Five Values Shape Responsible, Empathetic People

My youth, like everyone’s, had difficulties. Life is not perfect. However, my parents lived according to five values that shaped who I am today. Daily five values were modeled in every aspect, every environment I encountered. They are the same five values I attempt to model: security, work ethic, discipline, respect, and education.

Security

I recognize my fortune growing up in a middle-class home in the 70’s. I lived in a two-parent home. Each maintained a full-time job. An adult greeted us when we walked into the house after school. We ate together at the dinner table and talked about our day. Security may not look the same in each home but exists when a child knows what to expect. Stability provided a life of faith, consistency and trust.

Don’t get me wrong, we were certainly not a family of perfection. My parents argued but hurled only words, never fists and in society divorces seldom materialized (at least to my knowledge).

Kids played outside during all seasons without concerns about global warming. In the spring, irrigation ditches became the public swimming pools, and nobody feared pesticides. There was no need to watch for strangers who might abduct children. When it was time to go in for the night, dad’s whistle echoed around the block.

Summers produced red cherries, green apples, scraped knees and opportunities to sleep outside. I question if sunscreen or mosquito spray existed; I know West Nile did not. Fall brought cooler weather and Halloween. Dressed in costumes sewn by mom, we trick-or-treated. At home, we devoured candy and handmade treats without even thinking about having them x-rayed. Nobody warned us not to approach darkened homes because they housed sexual predators.

We didn’t have continual news that fed us information. We read facts in the newspaper, absent the rumors and slept feeling secure.

Work Ethic

Children accept what they witness. My parents accepted work as mandatory to survival. They never expected others to support our family. They demonstrated the correlation between work and success.

With money a limited resource, we built stilts out of extra 2 X 6 boards, and dad made us wooden guns that shot rubber strips cut from old bike tubes. We knew not to aim at anyone, and nobody ever lost an eye.

We played with our neighbors and getting together meant gathering in the backyard. As a teen when I wanted money to go to a movie, I gathered aluminum cans to recycle, babysat, or pulled weeds. Work provided money. I never saw anyone sitting outside the grocery store with a sign asking for money.

Discipline

When a problem arose in our neighborhood, parents met and shared concerns on the front doorstep. A resolution developed with input from all parties without placing blame or shirking responsibility.

Adults actively participated in children’s lives. The options to keep secrets were limited because a cord attached phones to the wall and conversations occurred in the kitchen within hearing range of the family. We lived life in the open.

Respect

Respect ruled the land. We were normal kids but not perfect who made mistakes and accepted consequences. Insolence was not tolerated, especially towards mom. “Wait until your father gets home,” produced repentance.

In return, adults respected our ideas. We had family night once a week where we played games and discussed family issues. TV shows presented families like ours. Now, in retrospect, I call them wholesome. Our lives were reality, not something to measure against reality TV.

Individuals maintained personal viewpoints, disagreements occurred, but people listened and shook hands when they parted. Citizens addressed the president with civility; audiences stood for the Pledge of Allegiance, and the American flag represented honor.

In the winter, when it snowed, we built forts, launched sleds, and a day ended with hot chocolate topped with marshmallows. We said Merry Christmas and accepted both Santa and Christ into our homes.

When the new neighbors moved in next door, my parents explained to my brother and I that skin color made them no different than us. They became our best friends.

Education

All our friends attended public school. The curriculum consisted of reading, writing, math, science, and values. (Oh, by the way, church preached creationism while science teachers explained evolution. Nobody complained.)

If we got in trouble at school, we understood the punishment at home would be twice as harsh. Nobody (to my knowledge) ever brought drugs or alcohol to school, nobody vaped, no girls got pregnant in high school, and school shootings didn’t exist.

When I graduated, I enrolled in college because I desired a higher education and paid tuition by working — a lot. The responsibility to choose the direction of my life rested with me but was supported by important adults.

A solution for consideration

Arguments will forever rage about whether or not times are worse than or now; disagreements about the causes of societal problems may never be resolved; in fact, whether or not a problem exists is still up for debate. However, the perception is real: increase in anxiety, depression, violence, suicide, and bullying.

So, let’s return to the problem of how to create change in our world. What if every member of society sang the same tune? What if the refrain consisted of five themes: security, work ethic, discipline, respect, and education?

If everyone models these five values, as a society, we can build a stable world for youth to grow and mature, a place where we can all sing in unity to produce hope.