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Filling in The Missing Pages

Finding A Path to Happiness

By PaigePublished 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago 3 min read
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No matter what your doing, do it with a smile.

There are so many opportunities and life paths in the world today. So many things we can learn and use, to help us become successful or happy, or both. However, even with all of these paths and choices, I still find myself struggling in finding my own way. I battle with the same questions day in and day out. Worry and concern coursing through my mind. I am nearly 29 years old. I am over $40,000 dollars in college debt with a degree I have barely even used. And I am so very unhappy with where my life is right now.

I have spent the majority of my life being told I couldn’t do something because of money or lack of skill. I’ve been controlled and manipulated into believing that if it’s to hard to work for then I will fail if I try. I have very little self-confidence because of all of the lies and the constant negativity being fed to me over the years. It wasn’t until recently I discovered that I can do more and be more than what I am. My lack of satisfaction in my work life and the ever growing depression of feeling stuck and lost has pushed me to look deeper into what is real and what is a lie.

With the ever-growing list of opportunity throughout the years, there has also been a growth in technology. Recently, with my growing interest in social media outlets like TikTok and Youtube, I have found a connection with others just like me. Yeah, there are the spammers, scammers, and trolls. There are also a ton of assholes and "Karen’s" that feel the need to judge or bring others down. But there is a huge community of people just trying to grow and figure themselves out too. I watch these average people, just like me, just doing whatever it is they feel like and making a whole success out of it. People playing video games, doing skits, showing off their art or cosplays. They are all so fantastic, so incredibly talented. But the best part of it all is seeing how much love and support they get from people all over the world that they’ve never even met.

I’ve watched creators open up to complete strangers about how low they feel or how inadequate they feel and then watch as so many rush in to help build them up and try to boost their confidence. I’ve even tried to comment as much positivity as I can when I felt it was beneficial. I’ve always felt alone and talentless, but I’ve never had anyone tell me otherwise. I battle with depression and anxiety. I don’t know where I fit in or how to even start on a new path. But with the technology of today, the open paths of support and help there are that I have never even considered, I’ve decided to give it a try. I will find what makes me happy. I will ask for opinions and support where I need it. And even though I know you can’t rely on others to always get you through, at least I know that I’m not alone. You just have to start somewhere and keep moving forward.

My story is missing so many pages, do to trauma or lack of motivation. I’ve tried to rewrite my story but I’ve come to the realization that it is impossible to rewrite history. Instead, I need to feel out the empty pages ahead of me. I want to be more than what I am. I want to be heard. I want to help others who also wish to be heard. There is so much I want to do and feel I need to do. This is the start of my journey. This is the start of a new chapter. Instead of hiding from the world and its obstacles, I will embrace the chaos and use it to pave my new path through life.

"What I do is temporary but what I leave behind is forever." -Mark Fischbach

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About the Creator

Paige

💖Trying to turn dreams into a reality.

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