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Experiencing Experiences

by Alfiya Laxmidhar 6 months ago in healing
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Life is made up of experiences

Captured in Jaipur, India

Experiences change when perspectives change:

One day I was stressed. And then I noticed everything affected me, a sneeze, a complaint, a protest, a loud laugh etc. The way I was interpreting my outside world seemed like it was being mirrored by my source of feelings within my body. I was aware that because of my current state of stress, my reactions around me was fearful, I wanted everything to stop, I wanted no noise and I wanted to runaway. I guess these were some fight/flight responses as my stress levels were high to the point where it made me feel uneasy. The thing is, my stress was brought on by myself, no one said anything mean or malicious, nothing happened which warranted any stress, it was an ordinary day and I was feeling like my feeling of stress was out of place.

I was by myself in my office and then I searched the following in the You Tube search engine: Qigong to calm mind and body and I did the following 7 minute practice. It was slow, it was calming, it focused on breath and by the end of it, I felt much calmer and more like myself. Then the volume around my became muted and sounds didn't bother me.

Here is the video interested:

Experiences are so complex. They are so personal. If I explain an experience of traveling to a country which another person who has traveled to the same country, it is a dynamic conversation, we share and we learn from each other's experience.

If I share the same experience to a person who has no particular interest in travel and they have never been to that country, I'm going to get a whole different experience.

I have learnt from experience that when I share an experience, I want a dynamic conversation. Sometimes sharing an experience that you really want to share is such an anti-climax. Sometimes people take it negatively, they take it like you have offended them or their values, they give you nothing in return, no questions are asked to show any interest in what you experienced.

The lesson of discernment was a hard one, I still get it wrong and it is often when I ignore my intuition when it says something like: Don't go there with that person. But then I go there with that person and it's a very disappointing and bland experience.

Be selective with whom you share your experiences with:

There are times when I have been in the mindset of, everyone should know what I have been through and how it made me feel. I am a Cancerian after all, and sharing my feelings whether I'm going through struggle or I am proud of something is something I need to do. It just needs to come out.

However, I have learnt that not everyone needs a piece of my pie, and this is where my intuition is helpful, if I choose to exercise it.

I believe in choice. Everyone has been born and everyone gets to exercise choice. I get to choose who I will share my woes with. Nowadays, I choose people who have shown me the most empathy. That is why empathy, in my opinion is such an important quality to exercise and strengthen as a human being. The more empathy you have, the more people will come to you and pour their heart out. Coming from a person who has had woes and sought out empathetic people, I'm not looking for a fix or for them to save me or even vent with me and make me feel worse. I seek them out because when they listen to my troubles, they really listen and I feel heard. That's sometimes rare in today's world. There are a few people I have in my life where true empathy is given and they are the ones who are giving me a free psychological session.

When I share an experience of being proud of something or accomplish something. I want to tell people who will celebrate with me, have a genuine smile on their face and reach out and hug me. That's the best reaction. I've been in experiences where I have shared something great that has happened to me and I feel worse off after I told them. Their reaction was as if I said "I mowed the lawn." Sometimes people have other things on their mind, not you, and that is OK. I have learnt that not everyone will celebrate your wins with you but I now know who I can go to to share my victories with. They are happy for me no matter what I do, they even are happy for me when I feel like I haven't done anything in particular but they make me feel like I have already won. Those people are also rare, so appreciate them when you can and when they celebrate, be there for them.

I love quotes. This one is by Albert Einstein:

“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.”

Thank you! Have a great day! Much love.


About the author

Alfiya Laxmidhar

Love words and their origin. Like poetry. Rumi is my favorite.

Thank you for stopping by.

Facebook: Alfiya Re Lax

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