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Ending the Comparison Game

Take back control of your self-worth by letting go the need to compare to others!

By Kelson MuddPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
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Have you ever caught yourself thinking “wow, I wish I was as successful as that person?” or “my life is so boring, look at all the fun places they have travelled to”? Thank you social media for putting everyone’s life on display so that we can feel inferior about ourselves. The reality is that everyone has their own insecurities, but it’s the people who have developed the awareness that comparing oneself to others brings nothing but jealousy, bitterness, and low self-esteem, and have thus chosen to not care what is going on in others lives, who are the most happy with theirs.

There will always be someone smarter than you, stronger than you, more attractive than you (which is really in the eye of the beholder) or wealthier than you, so why invest any energy into comparing yourself to them? Take back control of your self-worth by letting go the need to compare to others!

I’ll be the first to admit that I have been guilty of this toxic style of thinking. It was not long ago that I was entering my thirties, having felt I had not made any headway in my life and, out of boredom and wanting to escape my current reality, began scrolling through the feeds of childhood and university friends' Instagram and Facebook accounts. There was probably nothing worse that I could have done in that moment of feeling lost, helpless and alone. Immediately I began feeling jealous and resentful. I pulled out the ol’ cat-o’-nines whip and began whipping myself (metaphorically speaking).

If I knew then what I know now I would have banned myself from using social media and turned my focus inwards rather than outwards. I would have focused on the solution, rather than the problem, put in place small, attainable goals and actions so that I could start to feel traction again and move forward in my life. Nonetheless, I cannot change the past, nor predict the future. Only my actions in this present moment matter.

We are all on our own individual path as we navigate through life. New opportunities and challenges continuously present themselves along the way, and how we respond to them will differ greatly depending on our values, beliefs, personal priorities, goals and experiences we have endured in the past. Just because someone is successful does not mean that it was easy for them, or if it was handed to them on a “silver spoon” does not mean they had a perfect childhood upbringing. We simply don’t know the full picture and should not make assumptions, nor think “if only I had…like them, then I would have been as wealthy and successful.” If you were presented the same opportunities and challenges as they were, do you think you would have acted upon them the exact same way as they had? I guess there is a slim chance, but realistically you would have made a choice that is unique to your life experience, priorities and beliefs that would have put you on a different path to theirs.

When you compare yourself to another person you are inherently creating a better or worse scenario, such as in sports when you have an underdog team because they are technically “worse” than the team they are playing and have less chance of winning the game due to previous match performance and the caliber of the players on the team. But sports are for entertainment purposes. Celebrity gossip is for entertainment purposes. Personal self-esteem, self-worth, confidence, and life ambitions are for the lived experience of being on this planet for a finite piece of time that we as mortals cannot get back. Life is too short to be caught up in the lives of others when there is so much life of our own to live.

Remember that you are unique, worthy and loved, and that you are no better or worse than another human being. Life is not a competition, but rather an experience, and we have the power to choose how we feel and respond to this experience. Find something to be grateful for everyday and turn the looking glass of reality inwards to gain a better perspective of who you are and what you know to be true about yourself.

All that matters is how you think and feel about yourself, and you are right where you need to be at this present point in your life.

healing
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About the Creator

Kelson Mudd

No alarm clock needed, my passion wakes me up! Passion for learning. Passion for empowering and helping others. Passion to being being the best version of myself every day, no excuses...

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