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Do We Learn From the Past?

don't look back in anger

By Kevin RoachePublished 3 years ago 7 min read
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"Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forwards."

Throughout your life, your past has been guiding to avoid certain situations and embrace others. It is so much you have accomplished all because of the positive and negative experiences you have had. It can safely be said that all that you have experienced in the past has molded you to who you are today and who you will become in the future.

Whether we accept it or not, the way we view our past can significantly affect our future. Refusing to learn valuable lessons dooms us to a life that has no depth. No matter what background you are from, there are some lessons that we have all learned. Let's review five of these basic lessons and then talk about how you can productively learn from the past.

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5 Valuable Lessons from the Past

The following five lessons may not be exactly what you have personally experienced, but you will relate to a few of them. Take time to think back on your life experiences and determine how they have changed your outlook on life.

Sometimes you have to hurt yourself to help yourself

Some people are toxic and deserve to be out of your life. Sometimes, you have to make the difficult decision to let go of someone close, suffer for a while, and realize it was for the best. Toxic people harm your life that can continue for years if unchecked.

Once you realize that a person is hindering your development or bringing negativity into your life, it might be time to let go. This 'letting go' can be painful but think of it as a necessary operation that might save your life. You may feel regret and guilt at first, but in the long run, you will realize that your future is brighter without them in it.

Your mistakes don’t define who you are

Being over-analytical about your actions only makes you feel down and minimizes your accomplishments. Fight the urge to be too hard on yourself, and you will be happier. Accept the fact that mistakes are part of life, and you need to make them move forward. They do not make you less of a person and are nothing to be ashamed of.

Learning how to get up after every fall is one of the most important things life can teach you. Be happy with doing your best, and focus on your accomplishments instead of failures.

Life is full of surprises but so are you

Looking back at all the problems you have overcome, you have every reason to be proud of yourself. No doubt, some challenges come as huge surprises and stop us in our tracks. But, somehow, you found a solution- life wasn’t prepared for you.

Embracing all the 'secret' talents, you have uncovered throughout your life has taught you to become more confident at whatever comes your way. You are less anxious about the future; you take things a day at a time; you don't need to know the future and are happy living in the present.

Assumptions lead to embarrassment

Think about that time you 'assumed' the girl you saw with your friend's husband was his girlfriend only to find out it was his sister? Or the time you assumed someone was the daughter when they were the wife? Thinking based on what is considered 'normal' always leads to embarrassing situations.

Likely, you are more careful at what you say. You wait to hear all the facts before concluding. You know better than to assume 'you've seen it all.' This newfound wisdom has saved you from adding to your list of embarrassing memories.

There’s a time to talk and a time to be silent

One of the things that set older adults apart from the younger generation is their ability to bask in silence. This isn't something you learned overnight. Perhaps in your younger years, you were the 'life of the party' who always had something to say and never stopped talking.

In time though, you realized that you don’t have to share everything on your mind. You learned to appreciate the privacy of your thoughts and started keeping them to yourself. Slowly but surely, you learned to think before you speak and to be careful with your words. This change probably resulted in better relationships with your friends and family.

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How to Learn from the Past

Although the past is a treasure chest filled with opportunities to learn, it's up to us to look inside. It takes a little bit of effort, but the rewards are many. If you feel that your treasure chest is old and dusty, here are some tips for appreciating the treasure it holds:

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Take time for serious reflection

If you want to learn from the past before making a decision, take time to stop and reflect on your life and sift through your memories for a similar situation. Then, think carefully what you did, how it affected you, and what you should have done differently and apply this knowledge to your current location.

Remember, your memories may not automatically come to mind so you may need some time before you recall a valuable event. The past can only share its insight if we stop and take the time to look into it. Everything you have done in the past can hold something essential, so take time to reflect mindfully.

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Learn to let go of Negative experiences

If some things in your past keep on bothering you up to today, let go of them. This is not the time for reflection, which may only lead to feelings of guilt and regret, it's time to throw the memory away. You have learned many hard lessons from it, so there is no use keeping it in your treasure chest, toss it out.

Pondering over bad decisions you've made or things you wish you could do differently is not productive. The fact remains - the past is past. You can learn from the past but not change it so give up wishful thinking of how you wish you could turn back time. Forgive yourself, forgive others, and let go.

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Walkthrough an experience with present insight

This action doesn’t mean trying to turn back time and do things differently but is aimed at figuring out how much you’ve grown. Select a situation in the past with all the details you can remember and see how you would react now.

Practicing such replays allows you to reflect on how you have changed and how your current knowledge will lead to a better decision in the future. The next time a similar situation presents itself, you will be confident how to react because you went through the drill in your mind. Although not all cases will be the same, you will have a vague idea of how to apply your lessons to any case.

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Turn Negative Experiences into Positive ones

Think back to the time when you were fired because you had a verbal fight with your superior. How did that experience affect your future work ethics? Did you become more mild, humble, and ready to follow instructions? How did that harmful experience mold you?

Focusing on the positive results that came as a result of an adverse occurrence will help you to realize that mistakes are great teachers. The more you focus on the right results, the more you will view your 'negative' memory in a more positive light. In time, you may find yourself with only 'good' memories that you enjoy looking back to.

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Put the Lessons to Use

All the reflection, analyzing, replaying, and studying of your past will be useless if not put into action. Once you have the lessons you have learned clear in your mind, use this as soon as possible. Make learning from your past more than an intellectual exercise but add value to the lessons by putting them to good use.

You may not automatically remember a lesson you can apply in a particular situation, so practice, practice, and practice. Make it a habit to stop and think if you have experienced something similar before making any hasty decisions. If possible, postpone making major decisions until you are confident in what you should do.

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Conclusion

There is much your treasure chest of experiences can teach you if you take the time to open it up. Instead of letting it dust and rot, visit your chest often, shine your treasures, take them out and put them on display. Don’t be among those who let their experiences go to waste.

Let learning from the past become part of your present. Take time to reflect on all the amazing experiences you have had in your lifetime, get rid of the bad if necessary and ponder on the good. This way, your past will be part of your present and your future.

self help
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About the Creator

Kevin Roache

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