Dirty Thirty

So. I turn 30 this year.

Although if most people ask, I stopped aging at 25 like a vampire from Twilight (never mind that reference alone ages me); I stay that age forever.

This dark misty road looms ahead of me... there's a giant 30 sign flashing red as off to warn you about a speed limit. Rounding that bend, you need to be going 30... you can no longer drive at 25... it's dangerous and frankly, my hips can't take it. As you turn around that steep bend, there is a dark tunnel of unknown ahead of you.

I'm lucky in that my birthday is at the end of the year... so, unlike my friends who are all hitting the dirty thirties as we go, I still have a couple months left, but as each birthday rolls past, I'm able to pause and reflect.

So, I am definitely not where I imagined myself being when I thought ahead at 18 years old. My young, idealistic brain saw the expected house, car, husband, kids, etc. But, as with anything, life happens. There's a fork in the road and your car heads off the straight and narrow. You change careers, get your heart broken, move countries... you will start over at least twice. You have hit the gravel, your car is bouncing all over the place and you feel like you've lost control.You forgot to buckle up because you expected the road to be straight and lead up to the big house with the white picket fence. Instead, you have veered down the narrow path through the woods. You are being thrown around the front seat like those balls in a pinball machine. Part of you just wants to slam on breaks, call the tow truck and get them to drive you home. But you don't. You carry on towards the thickets and face the unknown head-on (or bum first, depending which way up in the cab u have landed).

What I have learnt is, that's OK! The old saying of life not being about the destination, but the ride that gets you there, rings clear. Be strong, be independent, try new things, make mistakes! It just means you are changing gear and heading towards new and possibly better goals. Drive that car down the hill, speed up over that speed hump, drive straight through the thickets and onto the other side.

You're still in one piece, your car survived, and you hit those thirties a little bit dirty but with more confidence from the build-up and the journey. If you're belting out Shania Twain, it may help...

It's also OK if you are doing the car journey alone. Many women look at hitting 30 single as a death sentence... all that talk about those biological clocks ticking. Like the crocodile in Hook, ticking away in the background... you can't see it but you can hear it...

My suggestion is, aim your front wheels directly at that ticking clock and drive straight over it. I need to be comfortable driving alone before offering lifts to any more passengers! So, turn that radio loud, blast Beyonce and Katy Perry. Stop off at the sights you want to see. Tick off your bucket list. You do you!

If you are one if the lucky few that have found yourself a reliable codriver, a map reader, and general direction giver, good on you! The passengers take a bit of the unknown out of the future and you are able to navigate the dark woods together.

As I head for that final curve in the road before the tunnel, I'm making sure I've got my seatbelt on, because it's gonna be one hell of a ride.