Delay Isn't Denial

Ever had a plan, its execution strategy and the end result all played out in your mind? That was me back in 2007. I remember the excitement that rushed through my body when I received the letter of acceptance to study towards a Bachelor’s degree in Pharmacy at Rhodes University. I was on cloud nine. As the first child, I was going to be the first to sojourn another country and be the first to get a degree. That was a lot of pressure however, I was super excited

What brought me back to the Earth in that moment were the tuition fees. As a family, there was no way we could afford paying it off. If you know anything about Zimbabwe’s economic situation from 2008, then you may have an understanding of how two civil servant parents would not be able to pay for university fees, support the other two siblings and maintain the day-to-day household needs on their income. IMPOSSIBLE! On that realization, I was defeated.

I believe in miracles. After hearing of my plight, a family friend in the diaspora, offered to fund for the four years. How do you even begin to thank someone who steps in to rescue you to that extent? Words weren’t expressive enough and I could only promise good grades.

I was back on the high frequency vibration, packed and embarked on my first journey to SA by bus, solo. It was just after I watched the movie Tsotsi. A movie that showcased the extent of crime in that country. As you can imagine, I was constantly looking over my shoulder and kept my few belongings close to my person.

Remember, this degree was going to run from 2007 to 2010 but fast-forward to June 2009, life happened. The family friend went bankrupt and that left my fees account in bad standing. How can I be so near to the end, yet so far. Difficult to comprehend ... No one wants to be summoned to the registrar’s office, ever. I found myself, one afternoon, sitting in his office being told not to come back in 2010 unless the fees were paid. Do you realise how much money had to be paid? It was the balance of the academic year 2009 and 2010’s full fees. There was no escaping this.

As I narrate, I get so emotional. I sat out of university for three good years. Fellow colleagues from my class were well advanced, gaining work experience and starting to buy themselves fancy items. Devastating was the thought of it. In those years, I developed a hustle I didn’t know I had in me. I got my sister’s recipe book and started a muffin business. I would bake muffins every day—gave some for mom to sell at her workplace and I would sell some from home. Every profit I got I put it away in savings. It was a tough season, but I guess such seasons will make you grow.

Come 2013, I approached the uni, with a proposal. We would pay in what we had saved up and have a payment plan for when I start working. The registrar’s office agreed only on the condition that I pass and not repeat any modules in 2014. My mind was made up. I wanted this degree so badly.

When the new year started, I realised that the other students had info at their fingertips—fresh from third year. I had three years worth of rust. I had to work hard to redeem my self. I could not go through the same humiliation ever again. You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice you have. This statement means so much to me in retrospect. I would pull all-nighters studying, would walk into lecture offices to get clarification on certain areas—all this with no aid from stimulants. I was running on willpower. I pushed.

Today, I am the barrier breaker in the family. Feels good to be able to take care of family to the best of my ability. I MADE IT.

Whatever you are going through, remember you are GOING THROUGH. Allow yourself to cry, but get up after the tears and do something about it. What can you do in the mean time to get you closer to your destination? Never throw in the towel to give up. It will work out.