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Dear 12 Year Old Me;

This took so much courage

By Sabrina CartwrightPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Dear 12 year old me, and dear the ones who hurt me. I forgive you.

II'm proud of you for having the courage to post this even though you were made fun of for it and you look back at yourself and literally cringe. You were just a kid who lost your innocence at such a young age and did everything you could to hold onto it. Even if it meant putting yourself out there like that. Those people that made fun of you and hurt you were only fooling themselves, they didn't know what had happened to you and what your intentions were.

It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry you never felt safe in your own skin at the words of others, and they made you feel that low. You're safe now sweetheart. You don't need to be afraid to put yourself out there anymore, you've been through literally hell and back and still manage to smile everyday and inspire others even through the darkest of times.

Like girl, you literally twisted your ankle, dragged yourself to a sidewalk and got up and kept going. I'm proud that at 15 you choose to stay and keep going despite everything you went through. It wasn't your fault. I may be here cleaning up the mess but I'm not angry at you anymore, it wasn't your fault you were just trying to stay alive and make it another day. It's okay now. You're safe. I know you would be proud of how far we've gotten. I will no longer look back at these photos and cringe inside, but I will smile and laugh with you because you were just trying to hold on to that innocence that got taken from you. And that's okay.

Hey, its me…

Not sure if you remember me since so long ago, but it’s been years and I have grown. I’ve looked back on everything you’ve done to me, it took awhile but you made me see; who I am truly meant to be. I won’t ever apologize again for who I am, I’m a flower grown right from the stem. I try not to lie in bed and think, the way you treated me and threw my shit in the sink. I’ve gone through so much since then, I bet you can’t even remember when. You put me down and made me believe, who I was back then was who I am meant to be. I thought I’d never amount to anyone, but here I am now loading this gun. I have to say thank you for everything you put me through, for that made me realize not to treat anyone like crap when they are new. You live and you learn and that’s what I’ve done, I guess we know who really won.

Sincerely, the girl who published her own novel when you said I would never amount to anything. Guess I did more than that. I forgive you though.

I am not lost, nor am I confused.

For I am searching for a meaning here,

I am searching for my soul.

I discarded it long ago,

Now it is my mission to receive.

I know the mission is dangerous,

But I shall succeed in finding myself once more.

The nights will be followed by terror,

And days will stand still where ever they begin

I won’t be scared when I find it,

I won’t want to turn back when I get closer.

The risks are not limited, the doors

Won’t shut at all

I know where I am going,

And what I am after.

self help
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About the Creator

Sabrina Cartwright

Hello friends! I am Sabrina, twenty-seven year old from SSM Ontario. I've been writing for a very long time, I've been on a healing/ spiritual journey for over two years. My goal is to dig myself out of my darkness to make a beautiful life.

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