In January of 2017, I made a commitment to myself and to the Universe to live a more spiritual life. I couldn’t really define what this meant at the time, I just knew I had to do this. I was called to work with thunderbird/eagle medicine. I had a tattoo designed of a stylized thunderbird and placed on my upper right arm. Since then I have worked to raise my vibration, open my heart, and live in the Light.
August of 2017 brought me to my knees and shattered my illusion of myself and the life I had been living. My husband of 25 years said something to me that was both profound and eye-opening. He looked me in the eyes and said, “I don’t like you.” It was the worst thing and the best thing he could ever have said to me. My thoughts went immediately to wondering why I was with a man who didn’t like me. I realized that he had never liked the “me of me.” He had subtly and manipulatively changed me almost from the beginning of our relationship and I had let him. It was all done to make himself more comfortable.
I began to wonder why he had done this. If he hadn’t liked me, why didn’t he just release me and let me find someone who would really appreciate me as I was? I also realized that I didn’t like me. I had been living my husband’s version of me for over 25 years. It was time to live my life in my image, not his. Since then I have worked to recreate myself and my life.
I revisited where I had been. I changed my thought patterns. I began to reclaim my interests. I found my bliss again. I was attracted to learn many new things and to trust my intuition. I experienced all the pain again, fought for understanding through all the tears I shed as I released stuff that no longer served me. Slowly, step by step, thought by thought, I became someone I could like and learn to love.
It’s been an interesting journey of growth, release, lessons, challenges, and new self-knowledge. I am living a life that excites me, filled with purposeful work, wonderful friends, and collaborations with like-minded people. Happiness fills my days as I live and work in the Light. My talents are being used in many ways to benefit people who also serve the Light as healers, intuitives and wayshowers. I am blessed many times over as I experience living in the Light and living on Purpose. Everyday is an adventure and I am happier than I ever have been.
I began soft-stone carving in the mid 1990’s. My mom and I had an interest in Zuni fetishes and access to soapstone which led to adventures in collecting and carving. I discovered that I had a talent for carving what I saw in my mind’s eye. If I could envision a piece and do a sketch, I could create just about anything. Bears, wolves, buffalo, horses, pigs, dolphins appeared as I found their shape in the stone.
Now I am creating knives and daggers of Selenite, adorned with crystals and gemstones. Selenite is a challenging crystal to work with. It’s very soft, 2 on the Mohs scale. It splinters easily and breaks into shards if handled roughly. With gentle treatment, the selenite can be coaxed into taking the desired shape.
Selenite carries Divine Feminine energy. The weapon shape brings in the Divine Masculine. The Divine Feminine protected by the Divine Masculine, can now create freely, as is her purpose. Both energies are fulfilled. The Selenite knives and daggers possess a balancing kind of energy needed now for Mother Earth.
This is sacred work that I do. When I am carving, the world falls away. Time stands still. I shapeshift the stone with my intention to love my creation into being. I am guided by Spirit and the stones themselves. They always have the last word in their shape. I’m never sure what the piece will look like when it’s finished. The quality of the stone changes as I work through the layers. Hard spots, soft spots, opaque or crystal clear, all can be in one stone. No two pieces are alike. Nothing is mass produced.
Satisfaction comes with the completion of the piece. The rougher surface of the leather lacing contrasts with the highly polished surface of the blade. Beautiful, flowing lines follow the original shape of the selenite. People are amazed at the smoothness of the selenite blades. Reiki masters purchase them for their healing work. Others buy them for the beautiful hand-made art that they are. I am making good use of a creator-given talent.
When you find something you love to do and you are good at it, it can be a life-changing influence on your life. Creating anything gives you a purpose, a path to follow and a star to guide you. I have found my North Star.