Motivation logo

Crossroads

Be Who You Are...

By Shadow DarkFyrePublished 4 years ago 3 min read
2
Me... Facing decisions...

Start writing... That’s what it tells me to do

More along the lines of start thinking...

The world is upside-down now, or at least on its ear pear-shaped... Everyone is scared now, or rather, most are scared in the first-world countries... Others are non-chalant... Many are hopeful... The rest might as well be sheep...

Sound real cheerful right now, don't I...? In honesty, I find myself more contemplative than anything... The current situation has only made me moreso, and on a subject that has been at the forefront of my journey...

I am 45, working at an electronic recycling firm, polyamorous with a wife and four other committed relationships, all but one of my children are adults, and living in a small City in Southeastern Wisconsin... I smoke cigars, eat chocolate, love meat, love most alcoholic drinks, and smoke cigarettes like cigars(all in moderation)... I love sex, need intimacy, cherish my relationships and family(they come first before anything in the world or out of it, short of God Him/Her/Itself), don't do religion, barely tolerate politics, am liberal and conservative, and believe in rights and choices and responsibilities... I put three periods at the end of sentences to signify that I put thought into what I'm going to say next, in an age where people listen with the intent to reply and not to understand(an age that started about two decades ago, mind)... I believe in magick, am a practicing wizard, mage, sorveror, necromancer, shaman, ordained minister, a bunch of other things, and a partridge in a pear tree... I'm archaic as fuck, I tell it how it is and not how it might be(thank you for that line, Diddy), and am too old in more ways than one to give a damn if your feelings are hurt if you don't like it... Life is too short to walk on eggshells wearing kid gloves...

And I speak fluent sarcasm...

On the subject of speaking truth, I find I've been bullshiteing(yeah, I said that) around with my life... I imagine many of you are or were, as well... Which is why you're here... I've reached a crossroads that I've been stuck at for about a year... My wife once advised me to find a job or career that is conducive to who I am as a person... It's only now that I am venturing into doing that...

Why was I stalling...? Fear... Blunt and simple... This is America... Making a living off of "doing you" when you have a family to provide for doesn't always pan out, depending on the occupations pursued... That's one side of the argument... The other side is that a leap of faith is needed to believe I can make this work and be who and what I am at the same time... That and having faith that not every resource out there towards that is selling snake oil...

It is a greater risk late in life when you have a family... A greater risk in this day and age when do much is in flux... Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. addressed that in his Memorial Day speech, mentioning in it about commiting to a course without being able to see how it'll turn out...

"All that is required of you is that you should go somewhither as hard as ever you can. The rest belongs to fate."

In the end, everything is a leap of faith... A lesson I've schooled others on through the years... But only now is it a lesson that I'm learning...

So, in writing this, I've finally left my crossroads... On the road to picking up where I left off in becoming a writer(travel, fantasy, poetry), a woodworker, a metalsmith, and a few other things... Anything else would be living a lie... Life is too feckin' short for that...

Till the next crossroads,... or the next thing I'm compelled to write...

goals
2

About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.