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Creating through my Cancer

How my diagnosis pushed me to do more.

By Lori LovePublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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My very first show selling my canvas art work.

I have always been a creative. Since I was younger I would doodle on any and everything. Even the walls (sorry mom). But society has brainwashed us from school age to believe that being an artist isn’t a real stable job. So eventually I grew up and started creating less and less.

I did what every other responsible adult does. I got a corporate job that I hated and paid my bills and hardly had time to do things that fed my soul. When my son was around 5 we received a face painting kit as a gift and everyday he would ask me to paint him as a super hero, or villain depending his mood. It was the reunion I was longing for. It reignited my love for painting.

One day, I was flat broke and heading to my sons best friends birthday party with no gift in hand but my facepaint kit. I offered to paint all the kids as our gift. It was a smash hit. All the kids and parents loved me. A few asked for business cards and it was then I realized I could actually make money from my art.

I went into business the next day and had a few good years of steady facepainting work. Fast forward to 2020 and all of my successful years of face painting came to a screeching hault because of the pandemic. I needed to restructure my artistic business. I had a few canvas’ laying around that I have done for my own personal enjoyment. I decided to post a few and the acceptance I received from my followers led me to create more.

Society lied to us. There is a way to take being creative seriously. I gained the confidence to put myself out there more. I signed up for more creative projects. I went to my first art show selling canvas’ and sold out!! I began taking commissions for custom art pieces and I felt I was on top of the world. Finally walking in my purpose doing something I’m passionate about. It was amazing.

2021 I started off with so many artsy goals. I applied for an art grant to fund a huge community collaborative art project. I was beginning to organize a virtual art show. All of these big ideas where new to my scope of work but I felt so confident in my ability and I was done second guessing my power. It was my time to shine.

It was at that very moment when I was finally putting myself out there that I received the hardest news ever. I was diagnosed with cancer.

Talk about a punch to the gut. I was overtaken with emotions and fear of dying. Damn it! I signed up for all of these projects and work and now this.

To me it felt like a test. From God or the universe or whatever you identify with. Whatever or whoever is watching over us asked me “oh yeah, you want to reach all these goals? How bad do you want it? How hard are you willing to push yourself to achieve it?”. I couldn’t let cancer stop me from crushing these accomplishments I set out for myself.

Despite the fear, despite the discomfort and pain I started feeling, I pushed through. I kept my head up and eyes on the goal.

Amidst cancer testing, I successfully curated and produced my first virtual art show. At the time no one knew what I was experiencing. I didn’t want sympathy or pitty pressuring anyone to purchase art or tune in. The show was amazing without that heavy energy. It was such a great show that the gallery wanted to work with me on a routine basis. And other opportunities have presented themselves because of it.

A few short days after the show I underwent major surgery to remove the tumors. I am one of the very lucky ones to have had treatment and am now in remission. I did it. I beat cancer! Not only did I beat cancer but I didn’t let it stop me from fulfilling my dreams. Shortly after my surgery I received the news that I have been awarded the grant. The hard work is far from over.

My cancer put things in perspective for me. If I were to die today what type of legacy am I leaving behind. As an artist, heck even just as a human with whatever passion you have, it’s a dream to leave a mark on the world. An impression that has others proud to have known you. That notion drove me to push past the pain and continue to create. Continue to do what you love even when things are dark and heavy was not only motivating to myself but it has been inspiring to everyone who I come in contact with.

I say all of this to say directly to you. Where ever you find yourself physically, mentally and emotionally, remind yourself of your value. Remind yourself of what ignites passion in your heart. Whatever you love doing. Do it! Whole heartedly. The effects of doing what you love will literally heal you from the inside out.

I created through my cancer and it cured my soul.

healing
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