Comparison Is Good

Do you tend to compare your own progress to other people's progress? Good!

Good? Yes, you read it right! Good. But not for the reasons that you think. And here’s why!

Comparison that harms you

From the beginning of mankind, people have been comparing themselves to each other. At some point in history, comparing ensured our ancestors’ survival. And over the years and generations, we have begun to compare our looks, our abilities and also our possessions with those around us. The consequence of all this? Our self-esteem, our self-confidence and our motivation decrease with each comparison.

This is also the case on social media. I used to compare my every step and outcome to everyone around me. I kept asking myself a lot of WHY questions. WHY am I not where they are in life? WHY do I fail all the time? WHY can't I be this and that?

This right here is toxic comparison.

Comparison that helps you move forward

„There is really a way of comparing that is healthy and that takes me further?“ You may wonder. There surely is!

Compare yourself to your older self

As chliché as it sounds, there IS truth in this statement. Often, we only see where we want to go or where we think we should be. We compare, see we’re not there yet and feel miserable. But, have you ever looked back and noticed how far you’ve come already? When you just started, you dreamed of being where you are now. You were able to answer many questions along the way. You’ve overcome so many obstacles. No matter how small your progress is, it’s still progress.

All you see is their now

And you only see what they want you to see. Do you know how many setbacks others have suffered in life?

Do you know how much they had to practice until they got to where they are now?

Do you know how much and how often they were criticized and started all over again?

Have you ever wondered about how many times they thought about giving up?

People don’t like talking about their setbacks and weaknesses. Why? Because it makes them vulnerable and people - often those closest to you - can be really mean. Also, we still live in a society that praises (fast) success. But the equation is only complete when you add effort + setbacks to it.

See failure as feedback, learn from it, try a different approach and try again. And again.

And again and again.

The answer lies between what you see and don’t see

When you see your friends, people you know or celebs showing off their lifestyle online, do you tend to get all miserable about? Next time this happens, try this: Imagine and analyze the steps it probably took them to get a certain result. The thing is, results come from learning and trying.

So, what could it be? What books did they most likely read? What steps they they probably take? Did they go to a specific school? Did they attend courses?

Try to answer these questions. Or, simply ask them! Worst case scenario is they won't answer.

Once you’ve collected enough information, apply that knowledge! Use it for inspiration and take action.

Conclusion

Comparison isn’t always a bad thing. If you focus on what you can learn from other people and not what you are lacking, comparison can be a good thing. Just enjoy the process. It’s never really about the results.

I learned to enjoy every tiny bit of this journey called life. I no longer focus on any outcome. I just love what I’m doing and everything falls into place, naturally.

Do you compare yourself to others?

If yes, in a healthy or an unhealthy way? Let me know in the comments!