Believe Once Again

Recently, I've fallen into a dark pit and if you've been reading my writings you'd know exactly what I'm talking about. Nonetheless, I've made mistakes because I've been in such a dark place.

However, I've got to keep pushing. I had a moment of weakness the other day and fell back into old habits. I can't say that it's something I'm proud of but it has helped me realize a lot:

I can't continuously blame myself for everything that's going on. I've made mistakes but I am human. I have to learn to make peace with what has happened because if I don't, I'll end up hurting not only myself but the people around me; the people I care deeply about. I can't continue to live in this never-ending cycle of self-loathing.

For the past year, I haven't given myself time to breathe (I'll probably post something about that eventually) which has negatively affected my daily function and decision making (clearly).

So from this point on I'll be focusing on myself and improving myself.

I've got to move on and better myself. Just like my friend said, we're trees; we get cut down but we also grow back stronger than ever. We can't let momentary weakness define us forever and end up costing us everything we've worked so hard to accomplish.

To all my readers, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be taking a step back and realize that I'm going to be okay and I'm going to survive this. I am making peace with the situation, I am learning to accept it. I have said it multiple times: IT GETS BETTER. Now, it's time for me to believe it once again.

I'll say sorry one last time, but I'm done apologizing. It's time I move on from it. There's nothing more I can do to fix the situation, I have to let time take its course.

I hope everyone feels the same way with whatever situation they may be going through. It's going to be okay. It's okay to feel weak, broken and beaten down but you NEED TO REMEMBER,IT GETS BETTER. It's okay to not feel yourself. It's okay to feel like you're going to collapse, but at the end of it, you have to find the strength to lift yourselves and tell yourselves "I'm going to be okay; it gets better," even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

One day, you're going to look back on it and think "I got through it."

If something similar happens you'll be able to tell yourself "I got through it once, I'll do it again." Heck! You've done it before! Time to do it again.

There will be bumps in the road and setbacks, but don't stand there for long. YOU CAN AND YOU WILL.

Tell yourself this every day if you have to. Tell yourself, you can and you will. Tell yourself it gets better. Tell yourself whatever you have to to get through the day. To get through the week. To get through the rough patch.

Life isn't easy. Life doesn't come with a handbook, it doesn't come with instructions on how to do things. You have to take gambles—something that I've been so afraid of for so long—and you have to learn to accept things as they come.

Life is something we take for granted sometimes. Let's make the most of it.

Love like you've never been hurt, live like it's your last day on earth.

But never lose sight of who you are and what you want to accomplish.

I believe in all of you, now I ask you to believe in yourselves.