Being Your Own Hero

Whether it’s snow White or Cinderella they show a handsome “prince” coming in and saving the day for the poor, naive and innocently dumb beautiful princess.

The beautiful princess ate a poisonous apple from a creepy looking witch.

She found herself in trouble and trapped with nothing in her mind except the constant thoughts of having a good supportive partner.

From a young age, women and girls are taught to “wait” for a “prince” or a “fairy godmother” who will snap her fingers and her ragged dress will turn into a white sparkling gown.

Is this in any way applicable in real life? Does someone magically come and make your problems DISSAPEAR?

Not really.

Even today in Pakistan, people around a young girl are OBSESSED with her marriage. When a girl reaches mid 20s and sometimes even teenage, jokes and subtle references towards her marriage start becoming the “topic” of every conversation she engages in. No, it’s not healthy, funny or even OKAY.

Because this toxic culture which exists in Pakistan, India, Bangladesh and maybe in many other areas, where young unmarried women are constantly bombarded with the word “marriage”, it completely disturbs her thinking, mentality and self-worth. She is taught that her “worth” is defined by who she will get married to, this is completely toxic and destructive towards the thinking and mental health of young women. They are taught to believe in a fairy tale. To place on their hopes on a person they will marry, instead of THEMSELVES. Their happiness is attached to their potential spouse. That is COMPLETELY UNHEALTHY and disastrous even. One shouldn’t expect perfection and depend on complete happiness on another person. Obviously, that person will have flaws you might not like, say words you might not like, do terrible things and even reject you, replace you or totally ditch you. What than? The so called “dreams” young girls and women are fed shouldn’t be about an unknown stranger coming in and fixing their lives, it should be about THEM BEING ABLE ENOUGH to stand up for themselves.

Real life is much different than the fantasies that are spread among young girls.

Truth be told, a woman will be on the verge of death, she will be surrounded by none other other her parents, her siblings, a close relative and if she is lucky, I mean REALLY lucky a supportive partner.

THAT is the exception not the rule.

Most of the time she will be on her own. Studying, running errands and giving more of herself to others and those around her than she does to herself.

Her time spent on herself, and her well-being will be her LAST PRIORITY. Especially if she has kids.

Truth is, SHE IS THE HERO.

She was taught to “wait to be saved” and “wait to be rescued” instead of learning how to be rescued herself. Instead of being taught to save herself before no one does.

She will be doing multiple tasks at once. She will be doing two jobs, a full time one as a chef, driver, cleaner, nanny and another office job. She will be so drained and so tired that every bone in her body will ache yet she will get up again and do the one thing she has to do otherwise it will NOT BE DONE.

She will go through life and death to bring children into the world than forget her sleep, her body and her health to look after them.

She is life. She is blooming. She is a walking miracle.

The fact is, if women ARE NOT TAUGHT to look after themselves, I don’t mean wearing a pretty dress and a lipstick. I don’t mean makeup and good hair.

I mean taught to look after their health, their diet, their exercise, their qualifications and even their bodies. No one will care for them. Women can only become able and confident, if they are eager to learn, earn and willing to fight for independence.

She will be looking after the whole house but when she gets sick, no one is there for her.

In majority of the current jobs even in Western countries, they are completely oblivious to her needs and issues. In countries like Pakistan, young women often face discrimination and dislike as potential employers assume she will pretty much get married and leave so why hire her? The problems that come from having a career and juggling it with household responsibilities are a new level of difficulty.

So no in real life, women don’t dress up all prettily to fall into some trap and then be rescued. In real life, she will refuse, rejected, betrayed, annoyed and go through life and death. Yet, despite it all, she will fight, and she will survive.

A woman is her own hero. She needs to learn to be her own hero.

I’m not saying there isn’t a need for fulfillment and loving partner in her, there is but she is her own personal bodyguard and the sooner she understands this, the more successful and better she will be.

Today because of awareness about education and well-being of women, even the poorest people try their best to get their daughters educated. Many women are earning by small shops and ecommerce stores. Education is creating awareness and online world have given many opportunities to young women to grow, learn and to carry themselves with grace and dignity.