Being Unapologetically Beautiful

Growing up in Tanzania, I felt beautiful. Of course, people rarely tell you how beautiful you are because that isn’t (wasn’t when I was growing up) part of my culture. I grew up surrounded by people who mostly resembled me. Black, cornrowed or braided hair, good meat on the bone, because in my country having meat on your bones was an admirable trait, a sign of wealth and good fortune.

It wasn’t until I moved to America that I started having insecurities regarding the way I looked. These insecurities stemmed from the absence of seeing people who looked like me on tv shows, movies, and advertisements; even the Black hair shop had posters of someone lighter than myself as their central welcoming images. All of this communicated to me that women who looked like me weren’t beautiful. Inevitably, this led me to a road of low self-esteem, a craving to be beautiful, attractive and desirable. In my mind, the only way to achieve this idea of beauty was to have a lighter complexion, have long, straight western hair, do lots of exercise to change my curves and blend in so that I don’t draw attention to myself. I struggled for years with the way that I perceived myself. The stereotypes surrounding Black women didn’t help either (the misconception that all Black women are angry, mouthy, only beautiful if they have lighter skin tone etc) I grew up believing I as a Black woman wasn’t beautiful because I didn’t fit the beauty standard set up societal norms. I grew up thinking if only I could change this about myself then I too would be seen as beautiful. Then I would be desirable, attractive and sexy.

It took years, but I have grown into my own beautiful. I am learning to walk, speak and be unapologetically beautiful, as a Black African British American resided woman. I am learning that beauty isn’t defined by societal standards and that where this is true change needs to happen. We need to defy the status quo on beauty standards so that women and men everywhere live in the reality that beauty isn’t a one shoe fits all scenario. Rather that beauty is found in the different hair, skin textures, beauty is in different body shapes, beauty is in our differing heights, style of dress, passions, cultures, backgrounds. That beauty is found in being unapologetically you! xx