Be Present for Yourself to Be the Best "You" Yet

Be present. Be present. Be present.

These words came over me in a way I have never experienced before. They are broad, yet impactful. Hearing these words in my mind brought a sense of peace. A sense that is right. That it needs to be my driving force. My theme of this year. But why? It required me to step back to understand why two simple words made me feel so strongly. It wasn't apparent at first. There was a reason this was grabbing onto my heart, and I needed to figure out why.

In a year where I am in the home stretch of finishing my master’s degree but am simultaneously in the beginning of my self-love and self-discovery journeys, being present in everything I put my energy towards seems imperative. It came over me as an enlightenment of where I am falling short and what I need to do to be successful in my upcoming pursuits.

Ironically, the moment the words materialized in my mind, I jumped on Pinterest to find a screensaver for my phone... while being in my live online class... see the dilemma?

Beyond not being scatterbrained, what does it mean to be present?

Since this phrase has pierced my heart, I have neither been able to shake it nor the feeling of peace and "rightness" it brings. It stirs up a fire in me as I replay the words. Is this motivation, maybe? It gives me a sense of drive and excitement. It opens the sense that possibilities are endless. The thought of it is bliss and empowering.

In its simplicity, being present would mean to show up. To arrive. To just be there. But there's nothing special about that. Nothing invigorating or inspiring. That interpretation does not give me the feeling that I could take on the world singlehandedly. It is necessary, beneficial, and important to show up, but that's only the beginning. It's not enough.

When I think of being present, I envision giving my whole heart, mind and energy to the subject at hand. To be invested to the point that no one could question my love and dedication for others. Then it clicked. My practice and understanding of being present has been to be fully present for others. I have never intentionally considered being present in this capacity for myself.

Be present for myself.

I have been giving my pure energy, heart, soul, mind, time, and love to everyone else before myself. In fact, I rarely remember to give these things to myself. When I do, I am oftentimes too drained to even do so. How common sense it must seem to love yourself first. Easier said than done, right?

Match my own energy for myself.

In all my social and romantic relationships, I have always been a firm believer in matching one another's energies. In situations where someone matches the effort I put in, I feel loved, valued and appreciated. Pretty straightforward. However, not once have I ever applied this fundamental mentality to myself and my personal endeavors. Why wouldn't it work the same way?

If I put a certain level of energy into something that is selfishly for me by being fully present, I will reap a higher level of results for myself compared to just showing up. There is a vital distinction between showing up and being present. This is the first time I have realized that for years, I have been present for others, but I have only been showing up for myself. This has not been intentional. Showing up for myself has become the byproduct of actively being present for everyone else first.

By the time I remember to be present for me, I have nothing left to give.

I have been at a fundamental imbalance with myself. Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Despite every effort of self-management to remedy these issues, they are futile until I prioritize being present for me. Until I resolve that, I will never be successful at maintaining and sustaining anything for myself.

There's nothing wrong with being present for others, but it is detrimental when it is at the expense of being present for yourself.

It's time for a change.

It's time to be present for me.