Be a Pal and Throw this Mirror at Me

Get the largest mirror you can find, hand it to a trusted amigo, and ask them to throw it at you as hard as they want, when you least expect it.

KIDDING.

Of course I don’t mean an actual physical mirror here — I’m talking about a self-reflection tool, a mirror as a metaphor for looking directly at yourself.

I like to play a game called “Throw the Mirror,” which is a simple tool that can help you get a sense for your general outlook on life and the world around you. The mirror is meant for your mind, your mental body of consciousness, to catch it in a moment and expose its meanderings.

Here’s how it works.

A friend or family member who knows the rules of the game can at any time say, “Mirror!”

When you hear them say it, it’s your job to say whatever thought is on your mind in that very moment. Catch the passing thought like a butterfly in a net, as it flutters by.

Our stream of consciousness, the “train of thought” is rarely sitting still at the station. There’s always an internal dialogue going on, even if it’s fairly quiet. Sometimes we’re aware of it and sometimes we’re not. The thoughts keep moving, narrating a directionless story, filling our heads with chatter and noise that is not always relevant or helpful — on the contrary; these thoughts often create drama and stress.

Your response to the prompt, “Mirror!” might sound something like this:

“My boss is really asking too much of me.”

“My stomach is growling.”

“Way to go, self — you lost your keys again, you wonderful genius.”

“The colours of those autumn leaves are so beautiful; I am blessed to live here.”

“That person’s boots are uuuugg-LY!”

“I wonder what my ex is up to right now.”

No matter The gift of the mirror-game is twofold:

It reminds us that our minds are constantly chattering, and that we can separate our selves from this chatter, observe it from a slight distance. This zooming out can be a huge stress-relief, and offers a fresh perspective; for instance, “It’s only my mental body that is worried about this — not all of me.” or, “My thoughts are not who I am.”

If we play this game regularly, we can get a snap-shot of our mental character. Is the first thing that comes to mind

· An unproductive stress loop?

· A neutral observation?

· Negative self-talk?

· Sarcasm?

· A positive affirmation?

· A criticism of another person?

The “snapshot” also lets us know how much time we spend ruminating about the past, focusing or worrying about the future, or living in the present moment. It’s a good self-awareness tool to write about your mirror observations in a journal, so that you can track yourself over time and learn your patterns.

If you decide to play this game, make sure you choose people you trust and feel safe with, if you are going to “admit” your thought out loud. What if the thought you have is something negative about the person who’s calling you out in that moment? Would you feel comfortable telling your friend that you think her new haircut was a mistake?

A final note — be honest with yourself. That’s the only way you will actually gain anything from playing this game. Chances are at some point you will be caught thinking a thought you are embarrassed about or feel ashamed about. Or maybe your own thoughts are scary to you when you actually look at them. Don’t get down on yourself! See it as growing your self-awareness for the purposes of growth and healing.

And by the way — you don’t have to say your thought out loud. You are free to admit, “I’d rather not share this one.”

Just don’t push the distasteful thought away altogether; write about it in your journal. Reflect on it. Your mind doesn’t have to be an open book — but let it be a teacher.

This exercise can be a wonderful first step to shifting our thought patterns in a direction that will serve us better.

Have fun with it!