Are you happy? You are unhappy. In fact, there are many unhappy people, one more, one less

Are you happy? You are unhappy. In fact, there are many unhappy people, one more, one less

In our life, we always seem to be in constant trouble. When we go to school, homework is the only heart disease, and the exam is a nightmare for many people. When working, the profession and orientation are not right, or the job is just to make a living, and we don't like it from the bottom of our heart. When we got married, we began to complain about the busy housework and no one shared it. Later, we had children, and we began to worry about the future of the next generation. In order to make money to support our family, we worked off work and paid on weekends. We were too tired to go home often, so we began to complain about the absence of children all year round.

What on earth makes us look sad? I ranked the troubles from shallow level to deep level in turn.

1. Love to compare.

From small to big ears, we hear that the cocoon comes from other people's children. When reading, our parents always habitually compare our bear children with other people's top students. How excellent their exam results are, how many awards they get, and how many students support them as class cadres. Later, they were admitted to the ideal famous school, which was really the result of popular expectation. Later, the top students were employed after graduation, so the parents began to compare the salary and benefits they received with their children. "360 rows produce the best", "gold will shine" but how many ordinary people are there in the world? How much gold is there? Just like a stable with 100 horses, it may not contain a thousand mile horse. Those children who are often used for comparison have been placed under the strict requirements of their parents for a long time. Over time, they will habitually develop the habit of comparison, which will cycle. Many people say that we have finally grown into the kind of people we used to hate most, and since we are so angry about comparison, we can't avoid following our parents' practice. Comparison becomes a habit, naturally unhappy. When what people pursue is not happiness, but more happiness than others, happiness will be far away from us. Because some happiness is the comfort you can't get in your life even if you try your best.

2. Not moved by good things.

There are always such people in life. No matter what happens in this world, it will not affect her to spend her life in the way she likes. Many people think it is far away to live a happy life with a willing attitude, but some people really do it. They are used to talking with themselves. They adhere to themselves and live their life as a revelation. They make their ideals a way of life. "Nothing happens in the east wind, and ten thousand flowers come out of makeup". We may not have the ability to create beauty, but can we calm down and enjoy the beauty created by nature and others? When you look at things with melancholy eyes, the things that respond to you must be negative. But when you re recognize things with an open-minded and tolerant attitude, things are warm and vibrant.

If we can stop in a hurry to enjoy a nameless flower on the side of the road, even if it's only a minute, we can add a minute of peace to our hearts. "It's also very philosophical for a person to see the rain. The rain is first drop by drop, then one by one, and finally one by one. It's not obvious that drop by drop falls to the ground, and it's full of water bubbles." If you look at the rain slowly, the rain itself is beautiful. When you watch the rain in a hurry, you don't seem to have a special feeling except that your clothes are wet and the dry ground is wet. Beauty or not depends on how you measure it. In the eyes of the pessimist, the rain wet his clothes, and he walked on the way to work. It was too late to change the time. But he had to sigh and bear it silently. For optimistic people, rain is a gift from nature and the most direct way to listen to nature.

3. Monotony and regularity.

Many readers must also be one of the workaholics. When we sum up our life, we call it step-by-step. When we were students, we lived a three-point and one-line life. The most we contacted every day was classroom homework and independent learning. The life of people in the workplace is still three points and one line: going to work, eating and sleeping. Many people work from morning to night. During working hours, business is so busy that it is difficult to go to WC without talking about gossip among colleagues. When it comes to the precious weekend break, many people begin to complain about reading and traveling. I get up early in the morning to catch the bus every day. I want to stay under the bed and sleep all day, In the afternoon, we rubbed our fluffy sleeping eyes, then lay lazily in the quilt playing with our mobile phones, and had a meal when we were not hungry. Many people of my age began to look at our retired or retiring parents with envy. We all have a dream: to travel around the world after retirement. But when you retire, you will find that our bodies are already walking down the Pu Road. We can't afford to toss around and eat and drink. Another point is to poke your sadness. Do you think you will be as natural and unrestrained as you imagined when you were young when you were old? You still have children who are just adults or still studying, don't you?

But no matter how busy your work is, please remember one sentence: people are not ants. Excessive monotony and regularity of life will make people lose happiness. When you are busy, don't forget to let your heart be empty and comfortable. "If there are no disadvantages caused by material desires, but the popularity will go with the development of conscience, that is, there is no Tao. But in ordinary people, most of them are blinded by material desires and cannot follow conscience."- sunny

Wang Yangming said that in order to survive, people inevitably have to pursue something that can make them feel safe, such as money, fame, wealth and status. However, some people pursue these things under the guidance of "conscience", while others just pursue foreign things wholeheartedly. If our hearts always stare at those foreign things, we will be tired to death.

4. Stress anxiety

Under the fast-paced survival mode, many people say that it's not that I don't want to slow down, but that the people around me can't slow down. Others are struggling, but you feel at ease and enjoy ease. Over time, you will be left behind by the people around you.

In the book of rites · University, there is a saying "cultivate one's morality, unify one's family, govern the country and calm the world". These words are familiar to us since reading, but there is also Mencius · devote one's heart ":" if you are poor, you will be alone, and if you reach, you will help the world. " Zhao Qi's note: "govern his body alone to stand in the world without losing his manipulation." It means that before doing things, you should know what kind of person you are, what kind of ability you have, and what kind of person you can be. For example, your ability to take care of your family is limited to your ability to take care of your family as well as your family. Instead of watching others do well in the world, I also want to follow the trend to level the world. While everyone is doing their duty, the pressure comes one after another, but under these heavy pressures, we should take time to release the pressure and learn to decompress for ourselves. If you don't decompress, the pressure in your heart will only increase instead of decreasing, and over time, it will also lay a curse for the disease. How to treat the environment? Wang Yangming said, "if you are tired of foreign things and seek peace, you will develop a spirit of arrogance and laziness. If you are not tired of foreign things and cultivate yourself in a quiet place, it is good."

The general idea is: "if you seek in silence with the heart of rejecting foreign things, on the contrary, you will only develop the bad habit of arrogance and laziness. If you reject foreign things and cultivate your heart in a quiet place, that's OK."

Why is it arrogance and laziness to dislike foreign things? Because behind the idea is your world view, if you disdain to be with. And the world is only nature, and the operation only depends on nature. What can we despise and disdain? Everything is a matter of your heart. You think you have been betrayed. In fact, it is just that your selfish desires have not been satisfied, obedient and reconciled. Therefore, straightening out the mentality is the first step.

Busy work and life are all due to the heart of gain and loss. Patients who have good or not, and those who have difficulties and lose second place are led to the loss of reputation, which can not really lead to their conscience. Sentiment: in today's society, many people are in a hurry in their work and life. The busier they are, the more chaotic they are. They make a mess of things, and they are sleepy and embarrassed. Why is that?

Wang Yangming said: whether you are under pressure or not depends more on your heavy heart of gain and loss. You just want good results and fear bad results, so you deceive your heart that can deal with it calmly and peacefully. Ups and downs are the norm, and doing your best and letting nature take its course is a reasonable attitude.

5. Hesitate for lack of one's own faith

The beliefs mentioned here are not only customary customs and religions. Believe in yourself, believe that you can live the most beautiful posture, self-confidence is not only self honing, but also the most common belief.

"Holding an ambition is like heartache. If you focus on the pain, do you have time to gossip and mind your own business?" - sunny

You just don't have enough enthusiasm for the current things, if you go all out or get something. We often have such a state in our life. When we go to school, we are distracted and wandering in the teacher's class, so you call it wandering outside the house. Including when we are assigned complex work tasks, many people's subconscious response is "why do we do this". After a busy period of time, many people whisper in their hearts, "take a break. Anyway, after being busy for so long, it's hard to ensure that our colleagues don't steal time." then why do we always let inertia prevail in our daily life? It's easy for us to wander off. Once we wander off, we will wander one after another? It's not the people and things that distract you, but your mind is not firm enough. People's inertia is innate, but smart people are often self disciplined. Your heart is the root and the origin of your measurement of things around you.

The happiness, trouble and pain of each of us are not because of the thing itself, but our point of view and attitude. As Milton said, "consciousness itself can make hell into heaven and turn heaven into hell." "Look up to the success of others and feel humble; look up to the happiness of others and lament your misfortune; compare the success of others and be angry with your disappointment; compare the happiness of others and enlarge your pain“

Where are you? Your fame and status is just a beautiful body, and the wisdom in your brain, the comfort in your heart, and the degree of your unremitting struggle are all soul values that cannot be measured by external values. People with faith are strict with themselves. They know who they are, have a direction and goal for their future, and dare to challenge. People without faith are often eager to follow suit. They don't know how many brushes they have, but easily build their values on some external things, even the comparison between people and the world. They are always used to looking up at people with their necks stretched out. They tend to copy the success of others without understanding, but the result always ends in failure, so they begin to sigh that they are ill fated, I feel like I'm not going well; Looking up at other people's happiness, they began to lament their unhappiness. Some people are higher than heaven and always feel that they are better than others. In fact, it is not so, because you don't know yourself and don't know your value direction. How can you be as superior as your predecessors? There is no comparability between people, Opportunities are not "different from person to person", just like "teaching students according to their aptitude" advocated in education "It's the same. There are no advantages and disadvantages between industries. Be yourself. You're still the king in your field. It's human nature to follow the trend. In life, you like to compare with each other, compare the success of others, and then hesitate to move forward on your own frustration. Happiness will spread, and sadness is the same. Many people like to tell their pessimistic stories to the people around you, so many people draw bad elements from the stories.

6. The disappointment of not daring to insist on being yourself

Many children spent their childhood in various learning places. Among them, there is such a situation that "my mother has an unfinished music dream", so the child who was only three years old was led by her mother to sign up for the music class. Later, "my mother hoped that one day I could be on the dance stage and become a star" and I have been working in this direction. I strive not to disappoint my mother. " My mother said that we must take the road of learning, strive to enter famous universities and become the outstanding child of others. So I gave up music.

Mother's expectations, father's expectations, the expectations of the whole family, and even the expectations of the whole village

"I'm ashamed of falling behind."

In 1496, Wang Yangming failed again in the joint examination. Some people wailed when they didn't see their name at the posting site. On the contrary, Wang Yangming was indifferent. Everyone thought he was too sad, so they all came to comfort him. Wang Yangming still said, "you are all ashamed of falling behind, but I am ashamed of falling behind."

The biggest sorrow of many people is not that their ambition is difficult to pay, but that their ambition is not paid. In order to live, it is helpless to have to give up one's dream. But some people's life is really helpless. They are very aware of their inner desire and want to show their ambition and become a leader in a certain field. At this time, his family said to him: your ideal is not desirable. How many people have chosen this road, and how many people's works have been written into textbooks and praised by thousands of families. You should do as I said, "don't listen to the old man, suffer in front of you". Therefore, some talented young people have to give up their dreams and devote themselves to the decent business in the eyes of their parents. The result is that his ability is too mediocre and devoid of people.

Many of us are expected by the people around us, so we can't insist on doing what we want to do. Is our life in our own hands or in the mouth of others? As we grow older, we find it a luxury to be ourselves, because we need to be responsible for the people around us. We need to be good children of our parents, good husbands (good wives) of our spouses, good parents of our children, good partners of our friends and good partners of our colleagues, but we can't be the one we want. Some people say it's for the sake of others, but think about it. What can a person who can't control his life take to talk about being responsible to the people around him? As a result of life, there is a situation called "life recognition", "everything is karma, not by people". Half of our lives can't be the Lord. It's because of external factors that you can't be the Lord. Some people see through it and recognize it, but some people are not willing to accept their fate. So I live in regret every day and can't help myself. People with regrets are more likely to hesitate because of comparison. The gap between your present and your expected life, the gap between your present and others in the circle you should integrate into, and the gap between you and the people around you in real life. What makes you most unforgettable is the gap between choice and non choice. But the pursuit of dreams should also be rational. If you build your dreams on illusory and unrealistic things, the result will naturally be nothing. But as long as your dream is reasonable, your style is effective. Please don't give up.

7. Don't know the fun of giving and sharing

Zhang Shangying of Song Dynasty said that "music is not happy to be kind". A person who knows how to give rather than ask for will be happy. Charity is not the monopoly of the rich. Donation is charity, even a smile to a stranger is charity.

Yao Ming said: "my ultimate goal of doing public welfare and charity is to purify myself and sublimate myself while helping others. In the end, it is myself who gets help and makes me feel useful to this society."

Sharing is also a happy thing. When you see that others are happy because of your sharing, the joy is multiplied