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An Introvert’s Survival Guide for Going Out Into the World Again

We can be more and about now, but it isn’t easy for all of us.

By SamPublished 3 years ago 9 min read
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An Introvert’s Survival Guide for Going Out Into the World Again
Photo by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash

I’m an introvert. To be quite honest, when quarantine first started many, and I mean many months ago, I wasn’t too concerned. I’d get to sleep later before work rather than commute, not be forced into social obligations, and I could walk around in joggers every day. I was being safe, and acclimating to a work from home, stay inside type of life. It wasn’t exactly a stretch.

The Covid pandemic is far from over, but restrictions are loosening as vaccines are being administered all over the place. More people are getting out and going back to normal activities to an extent. I was expecting the transition to be pretty seamless. Then I had to take the train for the first time. I met a friend for lunch for the first time. It became very obvious that it wouldn’t be as seamless as I thought.

There’s been talk about the unseen trauma from isolation during the Covid-19 pandemic. Everyone’s mental health has taken a hit in ways we never have expected. For the introverts in the world, having been isolated for almost two years, and are now expected to start re-entering to a degree, this is terrifying. Fortunately (or unfortunately), I’ve had the anxious moments, the near panic attacks alone in public, and I’ve started working out ways to deal with those moments. I have an anxiety disorder and depression even without a pandemic to make it worse, so I’ve been putting all my skills into overdrive to get myself back on my feet and doing some routine things again. So, from one introvert to hopefully many others, I have a few little tidbits to help you out if you’re feeling that social pressure closing in on you.

1. Take it slow

I promise your real friends won’t judge you if you say “I’m just not up to being social today”. You probably haven’t seen them in a while, but you can still wait it out. Whether it’s still from fear of catching Covid, or simply having to deal with the anxiety of small talk and social pleasantries for the first time in over a year, you’re allowed to skip when you need to.

I’ve already done it a few times, and my friends are understanding. I’ve only gone out to lunch once in the past few months while things have started opening again, but I’ve been invited out more times than I can count. I’m not mentally tough enough to be talking to people every single day yet. There’s a comfort in being in my own apartment. It’s kept me safe all this time, so there’s a bit of separation anxiety there too. Try small things. The first time I went out was with my best friend from college, someone who I know is easy to talk to and isn’t draining. She and I could be apart for years and fall back into the same pattern at anytime when we see each other again. She was the perfect person to meet up with, and it went super well. So pick and choose where you want to go, and with who. You can be selective and only go out for things you know are comfortable to you.

2. Bring a “care package”

This will sound so lame, but being attached to your living space can make traveling, even just on local public transportation, an ordeal. The “What-if” thoughts are a lot stronger when you haven’t done something in a while. The security of say, commuting by subway every day, has long gone for me. The routine was disrupted, and I have to get in the groove again.

However, knowing my own little cocktail of mental illness, I always have a little “care package” to bring with me. It varies for everyone, but I’ll give you mine just for reference. We have:

• One of those small travel sized Vaseline containers (What if I get a bloody nose in public?)

• A small packet of tissues (see above)

• Chapstick (What if I bite my lips too much and they get dry and cracked and bleed and it bleeds through my mask…why am I so concerned about all this blood?)

• Water (What if I panic? And my throat closes up and I need water to stay hydrated and healthy and awake?)

• Crackers (What if I get anxious and that makes me want to throw up? I need something to settle my stomach.)

• Headphones (What if I need a distraction because my thoughts are so loud and I need to focus on something else?)

• Sanitary items (What if I get my period randomly? I just had it last week? BUT WHAT IF I GET IT RANDOMLY???????)

That’s about the usual for me. I know when I start to have a panic attack, I get insanely sweaty and my stomach feels like it’ll throw up literally everything I’ve ever eaten. I know the things that upset me so I can be prepared. Everyone can have their own little care package. Maybe you bring a book for a distraction, or Gatorade if you feel faint and the idea of all those electrolytes at your disposal makes you feel better. The point is, carry those things that you feel you need. Even though you most likely won’t need them, knowing they’re on your person makes the idea of panic less, well…panicky.

3. Short, routine trips

This is a good one that’s helped me feel like I’m a functioning human being again. I do my grocery shopping the same time every week, and I go for walks to a few local places. I get lunch out once a week just to interact with others.

The short trips become routine, and then they become less stressful. Maybe you do have some small talk that gets you used to the outside world again. Maybe just the walk itself is enough to bring comfort when getting out and stretching your legs again. This goes hand in hand with taking it slow, only emphasizing that doing habitual things will get you in the habit of your usual lifestyle again. For me, I’m working on desensitization to the train all over again. The bus is fine, that’s above ground and I can get off at almost any time. The train has gone back to feeling a bit like a trap underground, where it’s hot and the stops feel like they’re years apart if I’m looking to get off. I’ve started trying to take the train once a week, on the weekends, into the city to remember how the journey feels.

Whatever your small routine may be, grab those headphones and go. The best way for you to start this habit is just to straight up go for it.

4. Do something fun!

Ok, so we have the Delta variant, and we have vaccination debates, and that’s all really bad. And yet…c’mon. You’re entitled to go out and do something fun for yourself. For me and my roommates, we’re heading to Six Flags, damn it, and that’s that. I need the thrill of a roller coaster. I’m vaccinated and careful, and I want this one joy at the moment.

Part of the anxiety may just be from the fears of who’s vaccinated, who isn’t, should you wear a mask, etc. Everyone has a different answer, and we’re in the weird in between right now of things getting worse and better. So please, whether it’s buying some fun activity for yourself to do, or going someplace fun or relaxing, remember to be safe and treat yourself. You deserve some smiles and laughter during all this.

5. Don’t be afraid to reach out

This doesn’t have to be for super severe anxiety. You don’t have to be “diagnosed” with anything.

Covid is a stinky virus. It’s totally disrupted everything about the way we live, and that does, whether you want to use the word or not, breed trauma in more people than you’d realize. Personally, I’d been in therapy for 8 years before this all started. And when I say that, I mean I literally felt like I was good to stop therapy maybe a few months before the virus hit. Lucky me.

It was when I was visiting my parents that all the Covid related anxiety came to a head for me. The stress of eventually having to relearn how to exist in an office eight hours a day, commuting on a crowded train, hanging out in large groups, it was daunting. All of these things suddenly becoming tangible after spending so much time to myself piled up and I completely broke down trying to explain it all to my mom and dad. They were sympathetic as always, and that was when we realized I really do need the support of therapy again, at least to some degree. And, something that my parents had to explain to me, there’s no shame in that. Whether it’s the pandemic related anxiety and depression making you seek therapy for the first time, or you’re someone who thinks they need to start going again, you deserve all the help you need.

I’d been beating myself up for so long just thinking about it. But I was doing better. I have all the tools to fight it, and I’ve been so happy for the past couple years. Now I’m a failure because I need therapy again. I’m not better, I’m still a stupid teenager fighting back panic attacks on the bus every morning. All these thoughts were on a loop in my head, until my mom told me that it was actually more brave to admit I needed help and to try and make myself feel better. I was trying. Therapy doesn’t make you weak. It helps make you stronger through hard work to get back into that right headspace. And if you’re like me, and you think you need a helping hand, the courageous thing to do is to open yourself up to the help.

Well, there is my little journey into the mind of how I’m currently dealing with the situation at hand. Introverts, and you know what, get over here extroverts, you too, fear not. We can get through this and get back on our feet.

Covid-19 is a challenge we haven’t faced before, and it’s new and terrifying. You’re allowed to not know how to handle crisis and sudden changes like an expert. In fact, it’s expected to be scared and unsure. No one really knows what’s going on right now. A tip I forgot above is to be kind to yourself. It’s something I’m still awful at when I’m panicking, but it’s necessary. Treat yourself how you’d treat someone you love, and take baby steps. No matter how slowly it happens, it’ll be scary to get back to regular, every day life. But you can do it, because we’re all in this boat with you.

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About the Creator

Sam

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