Accepting Your Dark Side

In Chinese Philosophy, Yin and Yang represent the concept that all things exist as inseparable and contradictory opposites. According to Chinese mythology, Yin and Yang were born from chaos when the universe was created and are believed to live in harmony at the center of the Earth.

I like to think that this also represents the good and bad parts inside ourself. Yin and Yang attract and compliment each other just like our inner light and darkness. Our good and bad qualities circle inside of us, creating balance. Without one, we are simply not whole.

Shadow Work is the self-examination of our shadow, or the “dark side” of our personality. This tends to be the part of us that we have disowned, repressed, and tried our best to forget about.

Exploring your shadow self and learning to understand and accept the things you don’t like about yourself is the ultimate form of growth. While it is definitely not an easy process, it is necessary.

In my opinion, the best way to dive into Shadow Work is by journaling.

Start with just asking yourself what are the things you already know that you don’t like about yourself. Then ask yourself why, or even who made you think you shouldn’t like that particular thing about yourself.

I can acknowledge that I don’t like how my laugh sounds all day long but why do I think that? Does that idea stem from the numerous amount of people who tell me it sounds ridiculous? Most likely. However, I have grown to appreciate my laugh, because in that moment of laughter I’m not thinking about whether the sound coming from my mouth is pleasing to you, I am just expressing my emotions and that is a great feeling to me.

Prompts are fantastic when it comes to journaling! They give you a specific situation or idea to think about.

Examples of prompts are:

• “What does freedom mean to me, and what does it feel like”

• “What am I most afraid of and why?”

• “How can I let go of these fears and move on”

• “What do I feel guilty about and why?”

• “Am I ashamed of myself? How is this holding me back”

• “What lies have I told to others?”

• “Where am I lacking self discipline?”

When working on your shadow self, these harsh kind of questions are the key to understanding and accepting your shadow self. Be brutally honest, there is no need to lie to yourself, deep down you already know the answers to all of these questions.

Another simple form of shadow work is inner dialogue. Straight up, just talk to yourself, like all day long. Constantly check in with yourself and how you’re feeling and why.

Did someone just cut you off on the way to work?

Did you just follow them 2 miles blasting your horn?

Yea…. I thought so.

Most of the time when you act out of anger you are just projecting your emotions onto other people. This is never a good thing when trying to communicate with the people that you love, trust me.

Start paying attention to how things cause you to react. Pause and ask yourself why did that upset me so much and how can I overcome feeling like this.

Once you start accepting your feelings and working with them, instead of suppressing them, communicating will become much more easier to you. You will not only learn to accept yourself, but it will become easier for you to accept others without judgement.

Shadow work is a lifelong process that helps you live as your authentic self, so take it slow and remember to always be kind to yourself.