A New Life?..

As the new year starts, so due the resolutions. Some want to lose some weight, others may want to quit smoking or go to the gym more often. For me, this year(and many to follow hopefully), my resolution is to stay clean and sober. I am an addict. I was actively using opiates for almost a decade. At first, it is new and exciting and you can't get enough.

Over time, it starts to eat away at your soul and makes you a person you NEVER thought you could be. I struggled for nine years before finally being mentally strong enough to get through the physical withdrawals and away from the stuff. Last September, I decided enough was enough and forced myself to quit. I had to lock myself in my apartment for about 10 days before I could function or think straight. It has been about four months now and I am beginning to feel like my normal, sober self(that I can remember anyway).

I had forgotten how beautiful the little things in life can be. A desert sunrise, a kiss from your partner, the way the sky looks after a storm. I am starting to enjoy life again. I want to be there for my family and friends again. So this year is all about staying clean. I don't think it will be too hard but I have to treat the situation as though I could go back to using at anytime. So I will be vigilant and stay clear of all that. I have caused a lot of damage in the past, especially to my family. I want to take the time to make up for it and just turn things around in general.

Helping other addicts get clean or stay clean is also another thing I would like to do. There are a lot of online meeting that are great during the pandemic when in person meeting are hard to find. But for now, I am just focusing on being positive, staying as mentally and physically busy as possible and work on the person I want to be in the future. This is going to be a year full of surprises for me but after all this time, I think I am ready.

I have a great support system. My family and friends are on my side and that is a great feeling. I can't wait to get back to being around the people who are good to be around. Last year was a rough year, in many ways. I am determined to make this year a better one, at least the stuff I can control.

Many of the people I work with have mentioned that their New Year's resolution was to live a less stressful life. Hopefully with many people trying to be less stressful, we just might have a shot at a decent year. Getting out of town is another thing I plan on doing this year. It never hurts to get lost in the woods for a bit.

Everyone seems to make some kind of New Year's resolution. After a year like 2020, I am not surprised. My plan is to make 2021 and possibly the entire '20's decade as positive and memorable as I can, while working on my sobriety. I am in my 30's now and it is time to start living! My hopes for everyone else for the year is to be less stressed and to come together more as people. With high hopes for the next year, I really wish we can all take advantage of that hope and make this world a better place to live in.

Here's to another year!