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A Common Guide To Lasting Happiness - Except, You're Gonna Want To Read This One.

Read this if you want to experience real, lasting happiness in life.

By Jazz ParksPublished 3 years ago 6 min read
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A Common Guide To Lasting Happiness - Except, You're Gonna Want To Read This One.
Photo by Antevasin Nguyen on Unsplash

The key to happiness is knowing what to accept as in your control and what to let go of. In stoic philosophy, many believe that the path to happiness comes from letting go of the things that are out of our control. However, even then, we're coming to understand that doing so - well - it's not easy.

Happiness is an emotion, but unlike other emotions, it's the one we all desperately crave. Everyone wants to be happy, and no one wants to feel sad - but that's the problem. If you want to be happy, you need to learn that it's okay to feel sad. It's okay to feel helpless. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is let go.

"If you want to fly, give up everything that weighs you down" - Gurubogsa

Understand That Emotions Are Tools For Building A Better Life

Happiness, anger, frustration, confusion, depression. These aren't just emotions but tools. Sadness, for instance, represents something in your life that brings displeasure.

Maybe somebody left you. Perhaps everything seems out of your control. Never fret. Even though you may not understand it at the moment, those things only happen to prepare you for what's to come in the future. Instead of allowing your feelings to take over, try busying yourself by focusing on repairing the things in your life that bring you discomfort.

Anger. Now that's a fun emotion.

I admit that I've had to deal with my own anger issues in the past. The thing is, anger is actually the most powerful tool in your arsenal. When you get mad - like, really mad - it's because something happened or somebody did something that you didn't like.

Instead of blowing up in somebody's face, try taking a step back. Whenever I get furious, I take a walk in nature - a long walk - to separate myself from the issue at hand, and focus on the steps necessary to fix the issue. Turn your anger into adrenaline and use that fuel to repair the damage in your life.

"Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you" - Roger Ebert

Life Is Like A Rollercoaster - Ride It.

By Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

In life, you'll have ups and downs. In fact, many believe that humans are destined to suffer at least one crisis every 2–3 months, which is definitely the case for me. Yet, it's still completely possible to maintain the same level of excitement about life, even during the downtimes.

A crisis can also be considered a learning experience. Instead of letting yourself go - becoming emotional, frustrated, depressed even - I encourage you to focus on the benefits - yes, the benefits - of any negative experience.

Did the car blow on the side of the road? Instead of freaking out, identify the lesson, and learn to take better care of your motor vehicles.

Sick? Identify the lesson and learn to take better care of your health.

Behind on your bills? Study basic finance-management and accept responsibility for your actions.

Sometimes, however, things happen that really are out of your control. Still, the lesson here is that you'll always have control over your actions, and in some cases, they'll be the only thing you can control.

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain" - Dolly Parton

Desires Are The Cause Of Suffering But The Key To Happiness.

Buddhists believe that our desires (or cravings) are the cause of our suffering. However, they also believe that our desires are also the key to enlightenment (or happiness). Learning to understand the cause of our desires is the key to ending all suffering.

I recommend that you practice using a journal. By continually writing down your thoughts and experiences, slowly, over time, you'll start to identify the causes for your desires and the reason for your suffering.

For instance, I make it a habit to record any unpleasant experiences in my life. Last week, I purchased a new video game. I was really excited to play it. Until I got home and the power was out. I can't even begin to explain my level of frustration. I had been waiting nearly 6 months to play this game, only to wait until the following morning to find that my Playstation didn't handle the power outage well and, well, it blew. Great.

The following morning, I wrote down my experience and had been reflecting on it since then. I asked myself questions like, why did I get so angry? Do I rely on video-games to be happy? Am I addicted?

Don't get me wrong - I love to play video-games. Yet, I am one to recognize when I have a problem. I've seen what video-games can do to people. I've personally witnessed a buddy of mine send a controller through his telly. It was funny to me then, but at the same time, it's not something I'm okay with having my daughter around.

If I wanted to change, I had to understand the reason for my desire to play video-games. It turns out; I play video-games to distract myself from the priorities or upcoming deadlines in my life. It took that experience (and some reflection) to understand that I subconsciously use my addiction to distract me from the things in life that make me feel uneasy. Identifying this habit was the key to overcoming my temporary suffering.

I do not desire to suffer, yet I am a fool. I desire the cause of suffering." - Shantideva

Develop An Attitude Of Gratitude

Ask yourself, how skilled are you in the art of gratitude? Really stop to think about it for a second. How grateful are you? When's the last time you felt grateful for your job? What about the clothes on your back? How about the fact that you have all (or at least most) of your limbs, or clean air to breathe, or a roof over your head?

Gratitude isn't just about showing appreciation for the things you get in your life but learning to show extreme gratefulness for the things that are already in your life.

So grab a gratitude journal and practice the art of gratitude by writing down ten things to be grateful for. Continue this practice every morning, and soon, you'll notice the radical benefits. You'll write down all of your reason to feel grateful, but you won't actually feel it - not for a while - but when you do, it'll feel good. You'll feel better than you've ever felt before.

Imagine feeling truly grateful for the fact that you're still alive. Imagine if that's all it took - if every day, you woke up feeling extremely grateful, simply because you're alive. Shouldn't that be enough?

In The End, It All Boils Down To Your Mindset

Everything listed above is ultimately a collection of effective strategies to alter your mindset. If you want to be happy, you have to think happy; not necessarily happy thoughts, but with a cup-half-full kind of attitude. 

Things like practicing gratitude and maintaining a positive mindset won't make you happy. Still, it'll influence your decisions and thought patterns, making it easier to experience real, lasting happiness when it counts the most. 

I don't believe that it's possible always to feel happy, but I do believe that it's possible always to carry a certain sense of appreciation for life and an understanding of why things are the way they are.

self help
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About the Creator

Jazz Parks

Father | Husband | Oldest of 6 | Born in Bellingham, Wa |

I firmly believe that to know a man, you must first know his goals. My current goals: pay off all debt, invest 20% down on a home, and travel as much as possible!

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