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6 Ways to Remind Yourself Never Compete With Anyone

Sometimes you need encouragement to navigate the most difficult changes in life.

By Jessey AnthonyPublished 2 years ago 6 min read

You remember how your parents rebuked you for altering certain words or doing that which are considered not gender approved.

They think it's in our best interest to be deprived of the truth about how the real world functions so we don't get into trouble.

Some of the things we were taught at a young age may sound as if they were said out of love, but in the real sense, it creates a mystery- an inquisition to decipher as we grow older.

As kids, we had to go to bed early; we had to eat all of the gross food because our parents insisted we do, and we only could buy what we could afford with our allowance, which is in coins.

We feel protected in our parent's arms as if the world is safer there. Then we grow up to realize that we live in a dysfunctional society that puts our lives at risk every day.

As I've grown older and gone through life and had so many different experiences, I have come to terms that I'm constantly learning.

I acknowledge that I'm not the person I was twenty years ago. Hell, I'm not even the person I was three years ago.

I have learned how to see the world in a different light. How to be sympathetic to someone's pain.

I may not be a martyr, and I do not claim to be the best human being to hang with.

But, in my thirty-seven years on earth, I have learned what guides to follow to grow in wisdom and flourish in health.

I have compiled some irrevocable life lessons we rarely talk about that can sharpen your perception for the better.

1. You can't fake your true self

Years ago, I was dating a man way above my league.

He had everything an ambitious woman would want in manpower, money, and prestige.

Then, I was a cleaner at a private club notorious for hosting gangsters and drug dealers.

When I started dating this man, I changed completely. I started doing things I wasn't proud of just because I wanted to use his influence to my advantage.

I don't regret choosing the men I dated then, but I learned that while I was pretending to be someone else, I missed the opportunity to grow in my career.

Because I wanted the easy way to climb the success ladder, I wasted valuable time drinking and partying with freaks.

When I finally realized my mistake, I took all necessary steps to weed my life out of all habits that attracted losers to me.

2. Intelligence doesn't guarantee success

I used to be jealous of my high school best friend because she was very intelligent.

She graduated with honors and was immediately recruited by a Pharmaceutical company while still in the university.

Then I dropped out of school because of an accident that left me paralyzed. I was going through depression and confused as to how to be a mum in a wheelchair.

I became jealous that my best friend was doing so well, and I was stuck.

The last time we spoke, my friend was still working a 9 to 5 and living paycheck to paycheck while I own a business and living life on my terms.

I've learned that riches are not to men of understanding nor favor to men of skill. But rather, faith rewards us all at the appointed time.

3. Happiness begins with contentment

It's as simple as that. In most cases, I discovered I usually don't get rewarded with more until I appreciate what I have currently.

The more you receive, the more you want to have. It's an endless circle of human desire.

No matter how little, being content with what you have takes away the pressure in pursuing human want. You become less obsessive with your desires.

I practice gratitude in everything that happens in my life, both good and bad.

I have learned that I do not have control over what life throws at me, but I can control my reaction to any situation.

And as such, I cannot be obsessive over the things I cannot control.

I think this is the hardest lesson that has shaped my perception of life and people.

4. You are in no competition with anyone

Some parents are the reason their children develop low self-esteem. When you constantly compare your child's grade to that of his/her classmates, you demoralize that child.

You make that child feel incompetent even when they are doing their hardest to keep up.

We all have different IQs. Some people are quick to grasp anything you teach them almost instantly, while others may take ten or more explanations to understand the same topic.

I grew up to learn this hard lesson. I used to feel like a loser whenever my parents mocked me for not making the top three positions in the class.

It wasn't until my twenties that I started believing I could be good at something other than academics.

Some days, I'm surprised at the things I gave accomplished without my parent's support. Even my mum is amazed at how far I have come on my own.

5. There is always that one person who can't stand you

I used to be a people pleaser as a teenager. Then I used to be the errand girl for my friends.

When they needed someone to submit their assignment, buy their lunch, or deliver a message to their crush, I would be the person they sent.

My past relationships took the same form. I would sacrifice my time and comfort to make my partner happy.

I would avoid arguments or question their belittling actions just for peace to reign.

From childhood, women are taught to be the submissive ones, so I carried that lesson into adulthood, which wrecked me.

As innocent and naive as I was, I loved a man who tore down that belief piece by piece.

Now I'd know when I'm being disrespected and call out the person without fears or favors.

You have to stop giving people a free pass to trample on you. You can't, and you won't be able to please everybody.

6. Arrogant and prideful people are unteachable

I do know for a fact that I am stubborn. Giving me advice can seem like manipulation even when it's not.

This is how arrogant people think. I didn't know I was arrogant until someone pointed it out.

These days, I use it as a compass to react according to the situation.

Two weeks ago, my business partner, Kenneth, recommended we sign in a professional Chiropractor instead of a famous bodybuilder for a Christmas event we are hosting.

I had already disapproved of his suggestion, but he went ahead and signed the contract without my permission.

Kenneth was thinking about the success of the event and at a lower cost, but I was thinking about our public image.

Normally, this issue would have resolved some fracture between us, but I let things slide. After all, we both wanted what was best for the company.

Parting words

Life is an institution with endless knowledge. As we grow older, we add and subtract what we already know.

If you're not growing in life, you are simply living out your days.


About author

Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.

Connect with me on Linkedin, Twitter, and Quora.

This article appeared here.

self help

About the Creator

Jessey Anthony

Jessey is a travel addict, freelance content writer and fitness coach. Check out more from me at:

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  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarran2 years ago

    I totally agree with number 2 as I too believe that intelligence doesn't guard success. I loved reading this. Very well written!

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