6 Tips for Creating Confidence
Find your inner goddess
So, what is it? What is that special magic formula that makes you feel confident?
Let's talk about confidence, where it comes from, and what you can do to build it.
I'm a firm believer that having confidence at a young age is one of the very characteristics that helps combat depression, ward off bullies and bitchy girls, and helps us face some of those difficult life situations and come out on top, like getting your heart broken, or losing your job. Confidence is that one thing that helps you slay even the biggest of challenges and know that no matter what, you will make it through.
Building confidence starts young. But, suppose you grew up in a not-so-encouraging environment or didn't have the support to instill in you the belief that you could accomplish anything? Good news is it is never too late to build your confidence. Try these tips on for size.
1. Take ONE Risk
Big or little, taking risks and getting uncomfortable, and realizing you will live through it, builds confidence. Examples? Let's say you're intimidated by the gym, but you go anyways. You're nervous to chop your hair, but you do it anyways. Get invited to a party and are terribly shy, but you show up anyways. Whether the outcome is exactly what you want or not, taking the risk and doing the thing that makes you uncomfortable actually builds your confidence. As you're reading this, that risk comes to mind... so what are you waiting for? Get hot and dive in!
2. Check Your Inner Chatter
What are you saying to yourself when you look in the mirror? When you have a bad hair day, an annoying and obvious pimple, or a few extra pounds around your waistline? When you speak up in a meeting at work? When you make a mistake? It's sad to say, but oftentimes you say things to yourself that you wouldn't say to your worst enemy; that you wouldn't allow someone else to say to you. Pay attention to the internal chatter. Thoughts become things... good or bad. If you are someone who might say, "I'm not good at [fill in the blank]," replace that dialogue with "I'm mastering [xxxx]." Or maybe it's "I'm sick of being fat." Drop that and replace it with, "I'm improving me every day." While change will not happen overnight, your brain will quickly begin to rewire itself based on what you tell it. It will begin to re-program itself on a positive vibe—thinking that way and looking for that first. Now, this does take self-awareness, but I promise it's do-able. Next time you throw shade at yourself, write it down. It's almost like food journaling—you are becoming aware of what you're doing. Write it down, and then replace it with a positive I AM statement. Writing it down and reading it also helps imprint that in your brain. Remember, positive vibes only, girl (insert winky face here).
3. Keep Promises to Yourself
Two of my fave inspiring humans, Ed Mylett and Rachel Hollis, are big on this one. If you tell yourself you're gonna get up at 5 AM and go to the gym. DO IT! If you say you're gonna start journaling, or start a new way of eating, keep the promise. It's all about congruency... being consistent with doing what you say you're going to do. It's then that you realize you CAN count on yourself!
4. Leave Yourself a Love Note
This one may seem laughable, but I started doing this 20 years ago and I swear by it. When I first started in my career in my early twenties, I had many "oh shit" moments where I didn't know what I was doing, and was wondering why this company would hire me, a career newbie, to do this job. So, I decided to give myself reminders throughout my day, and I front-loaded by preparing the day before. What did this look like? If I knew I would be starting my day with a big meeting, I'd leave a voicemail on my phone at work with a message like, "Hey Amy, you are gonna kill today, and show everyone you can do this!" It was leaving myself reminder sticky notes on my bathroom mirror, on my dashboard, in my purse, on my desk—reminders that I was strong, smart, slaying the day. Whatever the words are that get you pumped up, and give that inner goddess a voice, write a love note.
5. Make Yourself a Priority
Reality check—you don't get any bonus points for always putting others in front of you. Take a front seat in your own life. You know exactly what I'm talking about. This will mean different things to each of us. This might mean that you ask your partner or a friend to watch your little one so you can have some "me" time. Start your day early with a workout before the kiddos get up. Do a face mask. Get your nails done (or do them yourself). If you love reading or yoga or journaling or sitting and petting your cat, do it. Stop letting life and other people be more important than you. If you do not take care of yourself and pour yourself in to others, that will only end in an extra tired and worn out you, resenting others. Stop the madness. PICK ONE THING and go do it for yourself today, and do not feel guilty.
6. Follow Your Female Instinct
Girl, your inner female goddess KNOWS you, your heart's desire, and is just dying to get out. Listen to that voice; follow your gut instinct. So often we let that stupid voice of doubt creep in. DON'T. Your inner warrior knows best, listen to her. She pops up in all sorts of situations.
Confidence really is the secret sauce in life. I'm a big believer that if you feel confident, you are capable of taking on the world. Don't sell yourself short - it is never too late to become a confident female. Try these six tips on for size, take a hold of that inner goddess, and start slayin'.