4 Ways to Give Zero F*cks
4 ways to positively change your perspective on the world
So my story might sound familiar to you. And if it isn’t, then you’re probably a Buddhist monk, or dead. And if you’re the latter, congratulations! You’re officially a zombie.
So for the non-zombies, once upon a time, I went out on a date with a beautiful girl. We both seemed to have a fun time and even talked about scheduling a second date.
However, over the next few days, the response times from this gorgeous female become elongated. I texted her good morning at 8 AM, but didn’t get a response 'til 4 in the afternoon. Between those hours, my stomach churns, my heart races, anticipating her text. With a subtle hint of dread hanging over the pot, caused by the possibility of being brutally placed in the friend zone.
A few days later, that’s precisely where I found myself. My poor brain confused, blindsided, wondering what the hell went wrong?
Other great life stories are when I find myself wanting to throw my phone across the room 'cause the keyboard isn’t working, or the internet is slow.
Everyone’s been frustrated, maybe even totally lost their shit over something not working like it should.
It all comes down to three emotions we feel when the life outside of our consciousness goes awry.
So let’s go over four ways we can not give a flying a fuck about all the crap that starts these reactions.
1. Stay inside the consciousness
Before you leave because you think this is about to become a zen meditation article, please stay. It’s not what you think. I promise.
This is more of a perspective change.
You have a brain, right? And that brain has a consciousness correct?
Everything you perceive about the world around you happens inside your mind. In other words, your whole world is inside your own head.
A good example is how you see colors.
If you’re color blind, your mind perceives colors differently than other brains do. Their world looks different than yours.
And don’t even get me started on the dress thing on Instagram. A social media phenomenon erupted due to some people seeing a dress colored blue and black, and some seeing white and gold. Then ironically arguing over which color was the real one (even though it was obviously white and gold).
Since the world exists outside of your body, you will never experience the world outside of your own head. Which sounds very heady, (HA, brain puns).
Given this information, does the mind need to worry about the problems going on outside of its own world?
Yes and no.
Yes, the mind must think about food, obtaining money, and other means to live comfortably in the world. But does it need to worry about what’s going on in other people’s minds? Or if things outside of its sphere are working correctly?
No, no, it does not. You should stop caring what other people think inside their own worlds, and focus more on what’s going on in yours.
2. Laugh at yourself
Number two is pretty simple. Why get embarrassed about shit that you’ll forget about in a week, instead of taking the worlds best medicine?
3. Stop expecting perfection
One of my least favorite inspirational quotes is practice makes perfect. No, it doesn’t. Practice makes better, because when has pure perfection ever been achieved?
In case you haven’t noticed, it hasn’t.
As it would imply, the concept of being perfect is saying there is nothing wrong something. Nuthin, zippo, nada, nopety, nope.
However, people seem to always be striving for perfection.
This creates an expectation of what reality should be. Or what we think it should be.
Thus, a huge problem is created out of something that doesn’t exist.
Like a three-year-old who desperately needs a nap, we begin to lose our shit over itty bitty things that don’t matter, especially when we don’t get our way or when something doesn’t work like its “supposed” to.
We cry our eyes out, eat ice cream while binge-watching Netflix, we throw temper tantrums like a coach who had a call go the other way. And when life throws a yellow flag on us for screaming like a psychotic monster, we still think we’re the princess, and life is the real monster.
But if you’ve ever seen Shrek you’d know that is total bull shit.
I’m not saying you should suck it up buttercup, cause that’s not a very helpful phrase either.
You need to lower your expectations.
If a girl or guy rejects you, and you have high expectations of how they’re supposed to feel about you, then what do you expect to happen inside of your brain when they reject you?
4. Throw your ego out the window
I remember speaking with someone about narcissism, and their misguided opinion on how narcissists view themselves.
I made the claim that narcissists are some of the most insecure people on the planet. The other person disagreed, saying they believe they can do no wrong in their own eyes, so how could they possibly be insecure?
Looking back, I see she was partially right, but also completely wrong.
You need only read some of our own Presidents tweets or statements to see what I mean.
When someone insults or degrades him in any way, he must defend himself. If that means insulting the other person, then he’ll do say something straight out of a cheesy rap battle.
A narcissist does indeed think they can do no wrong, therefore, when someone says they have done something wrong, the narcissist must do whatever they can to prove them, and themselves, they’re in the right.
So when a comedian makes a crude joke about Trump, he calls the comedian unfunny, frantically protecting his fragile ego.
I’m not saying this stuff for political reasons. It’s to illustrate what happens when you have a severely inflated ego.
And how you probably have one too.
If you care about what so and so says about you, if you have to have the last word in every argument, or maybe like me you get depressed when you lose at Mario Kart, then you probably have a pretty decent sized ego.
The problem with the ego is that it serves as a barrier towards letting go of things.
Ego tears apart friendships, and people themselves. So you, in turn, must dismantle yours.
Unfortunately, you can’t just blow it all up at once. You can’t destroy something you’ve been building your whole life with one magical realization of how bad your ego is.
It’s going to be a daily process. One I had to go through to remind myself that I ain’t shit.
Remembering is the key to changing your mindset. Remembering that you don’t have to get mad when someone cuts you off, or when someone calls you a loser, when people spread rumors about you, or when you lose at Mario Kart (don’t judge if you’ve never played).
In other words, your ego can’t get hurt if there isn’t one at all.
To say you won’t ever feel any negative emotions ever again would be a fat lie. Even if you follow everything on this list.
Getting rid of your ego won’t make your anger disappear.
Knowing the world isn’t perfect won’t get rid of disappointment in injustices.
Sometimes you may not be able to find the humor in bad situations.
However, when push comes to shove, it doesn’t mean you can’t eventually make the decision to not give a fuck.