3 Ways To Start On Your Self-Love Journey

To love others, you must first love yourself.

If only it was that simple!

Why is self-love so hard?

It is because this act implies being at peace with who we are, our journey, our shadows, our suffering, and our regrets. And being at peace with one’s self, unfortunately, is not an easy task to do either!

There is one simple fact that we tend to forget though: we will never be someone other than ourselves. Poor self-esteem and dissatisfaction with one’s person are often linked to the desire to resemble others: a celebrity, a person who we perceive as being more successful than oneself.

What is self-love then? And how can it be attained?

The reason why self-love is so hard sheds the light on what is self-love at its core and how it may be attained.

Self-love is a path toward one's self.

Loving yourself is already accepting yourself as you are.

It’s about making your amends with yourself.

So, to start your self-love journey it is critical that you understand yourself better, and know your strengths and weaknesses but also your wounds and other emotional/reactive “buttons”. Identify limiting beliefs and work on them.

You most sort through your emotions, your reactions, your thoughts, your relationships…. Once this work is done, understand your personal “motivations”, your values, priorities, objectives, and goals.

Self-love demans work. Work that is based on personal assessments.

To help you start your self-love journey, here are three thoughts to reflect upon.

1- Look through your own eyes to see your potential

If you only see your flaws, it may be because you are looking at yourself through the eyes of those around you. The expectations others have of you. The standards of beauty defined by the society in which you live. Maybe you’ve been criticized so much that you’ve come to define yourself with those negative words. Your faults may be qualities that are not accepted as such in your society.

Become aware of your potential by looking at yourself through your own eyes, not those of others or society.

Switch your glasses when you look at your flaws, or what you perceive as such.

2- Forgive yourself for being imperfect to get rid of guilt

Nobody is perfect! We repeat it to those around us with whom we are much more indulgent than to ourselves. In the face of failure or hardship, we all tend to be extremely harsh judges when we play the main role. And our self-confidence plummets.

We criticize ourselves sharply while towards a friend in a similar situation, we would have encouraged, reassured, and helped him. Then, we feel guilty for being what we are.

Silencing this critical and inner voice allows our benevolent side to take over.

Next time replace criticism with compassion. Treat yourself kindly and with support. The same you would do for a dear friend.

​3. Say “yes” to yourself for a better vision of yourself

Too often, we evaluate ourselves based on many criterias and models that are difficult to reproduce. In fact, wanting to be like everyone else makes us feel secure. We don’t have to think, we reproduce what we see. But are we ourselves in doing so? Unlikely!

Let’s say “yes” to our real desires in order to please not everyone, but ourselves! By no longer keeping silent about what makes us unique, we are more at peace with our vision of ourselves. It is much easier to love ourselves when our life as well as our actions have meaning and are aligned with our own values.

Lead yourself in this path of self-love with kindness and patience and the rest will hopefully follow along.

Source: originally published on Simily