2021: The Year of Maturation and Fulfillment

Tell me about it! It's been a challenging year for all of us, including someone who struggles with mental health issues and Autism like myself. Although our experiences and thoughts about the pandemic have been different, it didn't liberate us from the raw emotions that we felt internally.

During the summer of the pandemic, I wanted to continue working on losing weight, improving my mental health, enjoying the small things in life, as well as enjoying the gorgeous weather. Once the summer has come to an end and I began my third semester of college, I started to think about what I have to continue and begin to accomplish for the rest of 2020 and the year of 2021. I refused to let the pandemic be an excuse for me to vegetate all day long, eat unhealthily, not appreciate the amazing activities I have to keep myself occupied, and the support system I have to help me get through this dark time.

In my opinion, 2020 has been a tough year. Nevertheless, it has also been a year for me to recharge, get back into old hobbies and reflect on myself. Before the pandemic began, I barely wanted to be at home and my mental health flip-flopped very easily. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to appreciate my home a bit more, do more creative activities, continue studying languages and to take advantage of what my neighbourhood has to provide. I live in the suburbs, so there are heaps of parks and privately-owned grocery stores that I would visit.

For the remainder of the pandemic, I came up with this quote: "Life is like a storybook. There are good parts and bad parts of each story we write. Everyone has a bad part of their story, they just don't always share it".

About the goals I've developed to look past this gruesome experience and continue climbing the ladder, there are heaps of things that are worth working on and revisiting. Due to high degrees of stress, alienation, frustration, depression and anxiety, I did not care about some of the goals I had to work on. Now, I have to revisit some of my goals that I need to work on, as well as new ones. The list of goals I have for 2021 are below:

Spend less time on social media and use it wisely

Since Grade 12, I've developed an addiction to social media. Due to abnormal depressiona and anxiety, I lost interest in many of my hobbies except for reading, listening to music, going on walks, going to the gym, watching videos, learning languages, visiting public places like the library, dining out and being with my friends. Instead of spending most of my leisure time doing puzzles and other creative activities like knitting, I would waste several hours scrolling on social media sites.

With all the research on the negative impacts of social media, I am thinking of spending less time on social media and to use it wisely this year. Instead of using social media to look at random photographs on peoples accounts for three hours, I would use social media to connect with friends and family. I would maybe spend thirty minutes to an hour looking at photographs on Instagram, but will not go beyond that boundary I've set for myself. It will take time for me to break that habit, but I am willing to do it for my own mental, psychological, spiritual and emotional wellbeing. I would replace for excess social media hours doing more puzzles, getting back into old hobbies like knitting and latch hooking, perfecting my writing skills, exercising more, and discovering new recipes. Hopefully my mental health will start to improve once I decrease my hours on social media.

Avoid unnecessary stress

For my entire life, I've struggle with walking away from unnecessary stressful situations. I was not confident in myself and was often afraid that people were going to "not be my friend", "think I am not worth it", "that I was not capable of living life", if I walked away from situations that they felt was "worthwhile" or "important". Some of my friends struggle with behavioural health issues like ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, PTSD and Acquired Brain Injury, so I am constantly subjected to inappropriate behaviours. I have to pick my battles in life. I can't be afraid to set my boundaries and walk away from things that create unnecessary stress, just because a few of my friends will get mad at me, call me names, threaten me and end my friendship with me. I have to be responsible for my own behaviour and life, instead of their behaviours and lives.

As a 23 year old young adult living in her own apartment, I have better things to spend my time on, than to be in the middle of drama. The residence in which I live in is like an "adult dormitory", a "24/7 soap opera", and "high school all over again", so the chances of witnessing arguments among residents and staff, hearing people complain and gossip about other people are high. For someone who is determined to move forward and mature, I can't be in the middle of drama and create problems with people if I don't need to. Some situations are meant to be forgotten. Life is too short and precious to waste it on toxic people and useless drama. I have to develop the strength and courage to walk away, set my boundaries and tell my friends, "if we want to have a peaceful time, we can't start drama" or "if you're going to be disrespectful in my apartment, you're going to have to leave", instead of retaliating to avoid "fights with my friends over things that are not meant to be fought over".

Improve my time management skills

Believe it or not, I still have room for improvement with respect to time management. For a passionate sleeper like myself, it can be impossible to get up in the morning. I used to despise setting my alarm clock, because the noise of the alarm clock would drive me up the wall. In 2019, I got in the habit of using my alarm clock because I need noise to wake me up in the morning.

There are days in which I feel discouraged to complete household chores and decreased energy to attend appointments. Getting too comfortable on the sofa and having anxiety bouts are a couple common reasons as to why I may be late for an appointment/meeting or may start a household task later than I desired.

To successfully get up in the morning, I will go to bed earlier than I usually would. For example, I will aim to go to bed at 10:00 pm if I have to get up at 6:00 am the next morning. I will avoid all unnecessary distractions like social media and excessive texting with friends. I will put on my alarm and try to be organized the night before to avoid "early morning stress". With respect to household chores and getting other tasks done, I will write to-do lists for each household and school task. I will put a time for each task and try to stick to it. While I am doing schoolwork, I will put away my phone and iPad to avoid texting with friends. I also don't want to be immersed in numerous text messages, so I can have my full attention on my schoolwork. When it comes to chores, I will continue to listen to music because it helps me focus. I will not text my friends unless it is necessary, so I can get my chores done successfully. I will only text family members and text friends only at breaks. Hopefully, my new approach to time management will reduce stress, avoid unnecessary distractions, have more time to my hobbies at night, and have an easier time completing each task.

Increase my spiritual knowledge

Since I moved out of my family home in 2018, I developed an interest in spirituality after meeting a spiritual minister and owner of the metaphysical healing shop near my place. Once I promised myself that I was going to get my life together, I was going to visit a spiritual healing shop to purchase essential oils, healing stones, spiritual handbooks and posters to hang up on the walls. All of these necessary items would slowly increase my spiritual knowledge and improve my psychological and physical wellbeing.

I've made friends with people who are spiritually inclined, so I continue to learn from them along the way. Many of the friends who are spiritual have experienced some form of mental illness, physical disability and traumatic events such as abuse, so it is an advantage for me to know how they use spirituality to cope with their own lives. One of my friends who suffers from a genetic condition and mental illness uses spirituality to help her alleviate the symptoms she experiences from time to time. I have learned some amazing things and got the opportunity to hear her input. Thanks to my friend, I am continuing my spiritual journey to help me manage anxiety, anger, depression, stress and sadness. I have a collection of spiritual handbooks, healing stones, essential oils and community resources to depend on during my spiritual journey.

Continue dancing and learning new dance styles

Since I was a child, dancing has been an all-time favourite pastime of mine. My brother also enjoyed dancing, so I would constantly learn moves from him. His love for hip-hop music and dance films have bettered his dance skills, which was also the case for me. I would watch dance shows, musicals, videos of people dancing on YouTube and some of my talented friends who were amateur dancers, which has also further inspired me to dance throughout the years. My love for dance has not stopped as an adult.

For someone who thrives with creative expression and movement, dance is a great way for me to release negative emotions and forget about things that are not worth revisiting. It is also a way for me to get my daily exercise without all the ordinary and sometimes mundane aerobic workouts that I have done all through quarantine. I love aerobics, but sometimes I just need to spice up my workout routines, so dance is a phenomal alternative for me. As I am completing certain household chores like doing the dishes, vacuuming and mopping the floors, I try to take some breaks to dance, so I can get some of my exercise in. It also makes doing household chores more fulfilling for me.

Dance styles like D and B skanking, EDM shuffling, freestyle dance, hip-hop dance and electro dance have been of interest to me over the last 2 years. From watching multiple TikTok videos, YouTube dance tutorials, watching dance movies and music videos have influenced me to learn these modern and engaging dance styles to do at home and at the park. To perfect my dance skills, I will continue to watch YouTube tutorials, dance videos and music videos to see the moves. I will follow along as I watch the videos, so I can remember the steps and things I need to do to become a better dancer.

Eat more plant-based meals

After befriending a few vegans and vegetarians over the years, I have decided to increase my intake on plant-based foods. As I continue to lose and maintain my weight, I believe that plant-based foods are the best ways to stay healthy without serious dieting. Although I don't condone in consuming high amounts of sugar on a daily basis, I also don't support myself consuming high amounts of fat is beneficial to my long-term wellbeing. That is why I don't believe that the Keto diet is healthy and beneficial for me. I include keto-based foods into my diet, but I do not follow the full diet because of the high amount of fat that keto dieters ingest on a daily basis.

Plant-based foods like fruits, vegetables, tofu, beans and nuts are the most effective and healthy ways for people to lose and maintain their weight. I have learned that the hard way, so I am applying what I have learned into my everyday life. I am not full-on vegan just yet, but I eventually want to be vegan for spiritual, mental health and economic purposes. For the time being, I am only a pescetarian which is a vegetarian that will eat fish and seafood.

Just to name a few, the plant-based foods that I eat and enjoy everday are grapes, apples, spaghetti squash, tofu, cauliflower, lentils, peas, black beans, chickpeas, corn, yams, quinoa and konjac. I regularly include these into my meals and snacks and will find a way to make them differently, if I get sick of eating them. Last week, I made a vegan hummus pasta dish that consisted of mushrooms, rice and quinoa pasta, caramelized onions and plain hummus that I got from the local grocery store. It was extremely tasty and addictive. Yesterday, I managed to squeeze in some time to create another batch of my favourite Low Carb Jamaican Peanut Porridge with Konjac Rice, Cashew Milk and Coconut Flour to create a "porridge like" consistency. For optimal mental and physical wellbeing, I will consume dairy only at two meals or at one meal and two snacks. I do not want to deprive myself, but I also don't want to consume a ridiculous amount of dairy. I also want to focus on fibre, so eating a lot of plant-based foods are the best ways for me to focus on fibre.