2020 Vibes

What are you leaving behind in 2019?

As we enter this new decade, I feel a different type of energy coming through. This dope new “I got this” energy. The energy is hard to explain but let me just say I’ve been feeling myself lately. The transition into a new year is a great time for self-reflection and how you want this upcoming year to be different than your last.

I think I go into every new year with the same (lame) resolution “I wanna lose more weight,” in which I never follow through and like most people just stop going to the gym once I saw how packed it is this time of year. This resolution I am looking for more mindfulness, more compassion, and overall growing each day into the person I want to be.

When I reflect on 2019 and all it brought and it took away, I can honestly say that I am happy. I am happy for the friends and job I gained because these taught me that I really can change my life. I set out to do something different and I accomplished it and for that I am proud. But with each experience in my life, I learn more about myself and what I want. Right now, I am teaching myself each day to relax my mind and to “go with the flow,” a concept I am horrible at.

2019 has been one of the loneliest years of my life. I changed jobs, moved cities, and lost a lot of people I never thought I would lose. But as I reflect on those losses, I am also happy. I am beyond grateful that they were in my life and taught me what I needed to learn during that time. I am also grateful that they left when it was time for them to leave. By them leaving, I am making room for people who will resonate on my vibrational level. By them leaving, I am opening myself up to new opportunities such as moving to a new city and meeting new friends. By them leaving, I am no longer accepting conditional people in my life. By them leaving, I am learning how to be alone with or without anyone.

People leave and people change. The grief stages when your best friend leaves you is real. It hurts. There is denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance and I can honestly say that I went through all of that during 2019. In the end, each of those stages showed me that I can pick myself up and move forward without that person I thought I could not live without. But what it really taught me is that your people will not be conditional. The people who are in your life and love you will not leave when things are hard. They will be right by your side when your confused and anger and just need someone to cry to. I am so thankful for my little circle that has helped throughout 2019 and I welcome more in 2020.

2020 mindset....

2020 feels different. It feels healthy. It feels happy. It feels like those individuals that are in my life are my ride or dies. It feels like this will finally be the year that I focus on myself.

This year I vow to be kinder to myself. I vow to not stand in front of the mirror and talk negatively. I vow to forgive myself for my mistakes. I vow to be compassionate in my journey instead of pressuring myself to be in a different place. I vow to put myself first in any relationship I am in. I vow that this is the year I learn the most about myself. 2020...it just feels different.