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The tragedy of Chinese marriage: women have no sense of security, men have no sense of responsibility

by test 2 months ago in proposal / grooms
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A lot of people simply and roughly "get married" and "sense of security" are bound by force, as if the problem between two people after marriage can disappear into thin air, a paper certificate can let two people become mature and stable, all the problems are readily solved.

In our life, we can often hear the elders like this:

Boys are immature? It would be nice to get married.

Are girls capricious? It would be nice to get married.

There is a final solution -- just have a baby.

A lot of people simply and roughly "get married" and "sense of security" are bound by force, as if the problem between two people after marriage can disappear into thin air, a paper certificate can let two people become mature and stable, all the problems are readily solved.

In fact, security does not depend on marital constraints. It takes a long time and effort to develop, and people with different attachment styles will react differently in the same environment.

01

A couple of days ago, a married friend with a child poured her grief on Wei all afternoon, saying that she had almost divorced her husband recently.

When you look at it, it's the little things:

Husband busy work, the company group built more; Often away from home on business, I asked him the password of his mobile phone, he refused on the grounds of privacy.

Even at home during holidays, I am not willing to communicate with her. I have not taken her to any circle at ordinary times, let alone show my love in the circle of friends. And his life only with children, seems to have more and more no common language with her husband.

When she asked him if he was giving her a second chance, she got a scolding: You don't trust me!

In a short sentence, it seemed to blame her for everything.

As time goes by, I began to have doubts: does my husband not love me? Are you having an affair? Are you tired of me being a housewife, not fashionable or good-looking?

Trust in marriage, is a matter of two people, unilateral trust is blind, stupid.

At the same time, trust is not innate, but you have the "capital" to make her trust.

02

We choose to enter the siege of marriage, nothing more than want to be firmly believed, with their own sincerity for each other's sincerity.

In the eyes of most men, women are troublesome creatures who are always looking for something ethereal, like security.

Some people say that if you trust someone enough, you will feel safe.

Men, on the other hand, always feel that they are not trusted, but often ignore whether their actions can make her trust.

But the source of trust is mutual affection.

03

More recently, Huang Yi recounted her experience of being abused, even while in confinement, in "My Amazing Sister."

It shows that once the marriage has collapsed to the red line, we must leave and cannot compromise.

After entering middle age, a large proportion of women tend to put their status behind their husbands.

They will feel that their own middle-aged people are worthless, while the husband is in his prime, afraid that he will be attracted to the outside world, increasingly dislike their "old wife".

Make your marriage not oppressive, but comfortable and relaxed.

If you are in the midst of:

Anxiety, worry about gains and losses, worry about his change of heart;

I felt like I was always worrying too much about him;

Feel that they have no confidence, lack of security;

.

At this time, you should know how to get out of the impasse, to learn to love yourself.

Doctor of Psychology, Fudan University

Studied and worked in psychology for 11 years;

2500 hours of cases;

Teach you about relationship security

No more worrying about gain or loss

More leisurely love

Su Hong teacher think: marriage to please, in fact, is a lack of security reasons. Your aggressive, finally become step by step back, in fact, is a kind of fear of losing the retreat.

But you find that the more you return, he doesn't seem to care.

Your fear, your worries about gains and losses, in fact, all come from you don't know how to master their own sense of security, don't know how to love yourself.

Even, some people carry this behavior to the next generation, unable to control their husbands, they want to control their sons.

Such a result, is undoubtedly hurt themselves, and hurt the family.

So please stop this behavior and stop being the resentful woman or the fawning woman.

Out of their own life, live out their own confidence, regain their sense of security!

proposalgrooms

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test

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