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In a marriage like this, it's best to cut your losses

In the 1,400 days from March 1, 2016, when the Anti-Domestic Violence Law was put into effect, to December 31, 2019, at least 942 domestic violation-related deaths were publicly reported, of which 920 were female deaths, accounting for 76 percent.

By testPublished 4 months ago 3 min read
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On the morning of March 14, 2021, at a home in Nanping, Fujian province, a scene like this occurred.

Yang Fang, 51, fell into a coma after her husband, Zhang Cheng, grabbed her head and slammed it against a wall, cracking her skull.

"It's no exaggeration to say that my father beat my mother to the ground and knocked her unconscious more times than I can count on my hands," Zhang said. Over the decades, I beat my mother dozens of times, and my nose was broken several times."

It is hard to imagine how Yang Fang came over the past decades.

Village officials said that Yang Fang in the local reputation is very good, is too honest character. When she was badly beaten, she would go home for a few days at most.

Endure again and again, in exchange for is more severe. This is not the first time such alarm bells have sounded.

01

In the 1,400 days from March 1, 2016, when the Anti-Domestic Violence Law was put into effect, to December 31, 2019, at least 942 domestic violation-related deaths were publicly reported, of which 920 were female deaths, accounting for 76 percent.

That means at least one Chinese woman dies of domestic violence every 1.5 days.

On the night of August 27, 2020, a 26-year-old music teacher committed suicide by jumping off a building to escape his home.

In the first month of 2019, Xiao Mei in Guangxi was killed by a bench during a quarrel with her husband.

In June 2020, a woman in Hebei Province became paralyzed after jumping off a building.......

Such things, again and again, but again and again did not ring the alarm bell for everyone.

And behind that, there's a sense of danger that you're not aware of.

Most victims are unaware of the danger at first because:

First, domestic abusers are often good at faking it.

They don't come off as violent in the first place, but they tend to impress you with an appearance of gentleness or even sanity. Even when he is not violent, he may be gentle and considerate to you.

Because of this tenderness, you feel that his violence was a temporary "mistake" that deserves to be forgiven.

Second, believe in true love

This may seem laughable to onlookers, but it is certainly true among the victims.

"Because he exposed his vulnerability to me, and he really loved me."

"He just lost it in the heat of the moment. He really loves me."

Third, too much hope for the future

Just suck it up. I'm glad he figured it out. These thoughts happen to victims from time to time.

Some even tend to the future unknowable, leave the status quo after the worry about how to give in.

In fact, a bad marriage, not in time to stop the loss, will only be broken.

02

When it comes to domestic violence, many men will complain about it. Is domestic violence only seen in women, but not men?

Not so much.

Domestic violence against both men and women can be considered domestic violence, but the disparity in strength between men and women leads to more female victims.

Of course, for both men and women, it's not just the physical damage, it's the emotional damage that can't be undone.

So, I want to tell you, such a marriage, please choose timely cut losses, do not force to make do.

If you are suffering from domestic violence and don't know how to deal with it, then you can see a marriage and family lawyer to teach you how to deal with domestic violence.

If you're in a relationship, you can learn to identify men who are most prone to abuse;

If you are already in the siege of marriage, you can take precautions to protect yourself in advance;

If you've been abused, there are better ways to stand up for yourself.

If someone close to you is suffering from domestic abuse but doesn't know how to deal with it, can you help her move on

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