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A Man Married for 15 Years: Three pieces of advice for Women!

I am a man, a married 15 years, in the psychological industry service more than ten years of men, have seen all kinds of marriage, in addition to the kind of even I feel hopeless, advised her to start a new life outside the case, most people's feelings can be repaired, but we do not know the correct management method.

By testPublished 5 months ago 8 min read
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Today's article is for all married ladies:?

I know you have a lot of grievances and questions when you get married.

Why do two people who love each other get married and still live their lives like chicken feathers?

I know that most of the problems in marriage are caused by men behaving badly.

But a lot of it is due to the fact that women don't know a lot about men.

I am a man, a married 15 years, in the psychological industry service more than ten years of men, have seen all kinds of marriage, in addition to the kind of even I feel hopeless, advised her to start a new life outside the case, most people's feelings can be repaired, but we do not know the correct management method.

In fact, the way men and women get along is really simple, but too many people do not understand.

So, today I want to seriously tell you how to live with a man.

01

Men are not "riddlers"

Women don't let a man become an "expert riddler." He can't take your cues!

Emotionally, men are much weaker than women. The smartest man is a high school student, and any woman is a doctor.

So you must not stand in the woman's point of view reason man, will run off the direction of a thousand miles.

? Take gifts: He won't know you said "old married couple, what a waste of money!" Is the mouth said not to, in fact, the body and the heart is 100% want. So he really stopped buying presents!

? For example, when you fight: you love to say "break up/divorce!" He doesn't know that you are just testing him to see if he really cares about you, he will think that he is really a failure!

? For example, when a woman needs a man, she will say "I'm OK, don't accompany me, you go to work". He doesn't know that you are actually testing him, whether the work is important or her important. He'll think you really don't need company.

So be sure to understand and acknowledge the "differences between men and women", otherwise you and your husband may fight to death and not understand.

Based on the fact that men are not "puzzle experts," there are two things you have to do to get along:

First, speak your mind directly.

If you want a gift, ask for a gift; if you want a man's company, ask for company; if you want to know what a man is thinking, ask for it. Don't make him guess. A man can't read a woman's mind.

Second, tell him exactly what to do.

If you want him to babysit, just tell him that he needs to babysit for a while, tell him what you need to do for the next hour, what he's responsible for.

If he wants to do chores together, you can tell him to pick up the trash before you go out, or you miss his cooking, or you can even tell him the name of the dish you're going to eat.

Just say it straight out, and then guide him on how to do it!

It's not very sexy, but it's really the easiest and most effective way to get along with a guy, and it's better than sulking under the covers.

A lot of things, if you don't say it directly, men really don't understand. If you don't guide him, he really doesn't know what to do.

Sometimes you quarrel always no result, is he really want to break the head and do not understand your heart's true thoughts, it has nothing to do with love you.

02

No need to "put up" with men

Carina Lau said, "Be patient".

Ms. Lau once quipped that Mr. Leung was eccentric, unsociable and rarely accompanied her out to meet friends. Don't love to do housework, picky about meals, don't fit in with others, even the light bulb will not change.....

What impressed me most was that Carina Lau said: "Tony Leung went out with a bag for home decoration, and came back with a bag after decoration."

Do not love to do housework, eccentric, at home is basically throw off the shopkeeper....

This is the man in the public marriage, these are the common problems of men, but I do not agree with Carina Lau using "endure", to maintain the marriage.

I still agree with what Yan Rujing said in "Wonderful Work" :

"A partner is the closest person to a woman. In this world, there are so many things a woman needs to tolerate. Who is the only person who can accept you, let you not tolerate, let you lose your temper?

Only as an outsider, to everything to tolerate, love is what to mind, but, or the most beautiful.

If you are a partner for a while, it is easy to endure, but what about a life-long partner? Endure for a time called calm, endure I call all hard life!

We don't have to tolerate it in front of our partners!

Maybe at this time, someone will say: if you can't bear it, then your inner anger, and issued, but the other side and you quarreled, and quarreled in the end, the problem is not solved, the relationship is worse?

Admittedly, 80% of arguments between men and women are pointless, and the remaining 20% are about what's the point of the argument before the discussion.

Men's communication is purposeful, that is, to solve one thing, the process of communication is the way to solve the problem, according to the case, with a rational Angle to solve one thing;

Women's communication is to share their emotions and thoughts, release their pressure by sharing, so as to gain recognition from the other side and feel the care and love from the other side.

Therefore, most of the time, when women share with men, they do not ask men to give a solution, but men just give a solution, so women start to lose their temper, men think women are unreasonable, women think men don't care about them......

In THE emotional ASPECT, THE MAN'S COGNITION IS ALWAYS SHALLOW THAN the WOMAN'S feeling, so it is still THAT sentence: do not stand in the woman's Angle to reason men, will run away.

There are two very important points in arguing with a man like a man:

① You must say;

② You have to make it clear.

These two points seem very simple, but it is very tricky to do, because once the quarrel is not good, the case of the couple into a cold war is not small.

If you can't understand the male psychology, then the conflict between you can not be resolved in time, dissatisfaction with him will continue to accumulate, many small things will be magnified into the estrangement between husband and wife.

As a wife, read a man's heart, find out what he is thinking, you can have an intimate, intimate married life!

What's the secret to getting along with men? All OF these methods and strategies will be taught by Mr. Ding Hai in the class of "20 Days, A Good Husband Development Plan"

Interpreting marriage from a male perspective

6 dimensions, let a man fall in love with home!

20 Day plan, develop a good family man!

360 degrees, dream of a good man at home!

Read a man's heart, harvest a happy marriage

03

Men can't "get used to"

After marriage, many wives find that men give too little to their relationship and family:

You feel sorry for his hard work, never ask him to undertake housework, but he thinks you should do;

You always remember what he likes to eat, what clothes he likes to wear, but he never care about your taste;

Take care of the children, do the housework all you bear, he in the side like did not see;

Sometimes, you want him to spend time with you, but he tells you that he has no time, he is tired...

You will find that once you lose control of your emotions. The better you treat him, the more he takes it for granted, and the lower you go, the more he takes it for granted.

The biggest mistake of women in marriage is to "spoil the man", to know that marriage is never a stage of a person, do housework, take children, should not be all the wife's things, but the couple two common things.

Men who don't know how to take responsibility can be scary, but they have a lot of room to grow.

So what can you do to have a good husband who is gentle and considerate?

"It's very simple. Guide him to give. The more he invests in you and the family, the more he will leave you.

Most of the time, a good husband is not born good, but by the woman to create. What a man can achieve depends on what he marries and how he treats his woman.

A wise woman will not do anything for her husband, for their children to do, tired of their own covered with dust and exhausted.

A smart woman knows how to give a man a sense of worth, how to let him do his best, how to make herself the most important person in his life."

If you have a high standard of happiness, a "high" requirement for men, and are not satisfied with a poor marriage, then please come to participate in the "20 days, Good man Development Program", Teacher Ding Hai will teach you in the fastest way to gain a dedicated, gentle, hard-working, caring husband!

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