Have you ever become enlightened?
What is enlightenment for you?
I have suffered a lot of heartaches, mostly with women, and it is not that easy to get your heart beaten down a bunch of times.
I thought of myself as a man, even when I am the opposite. The soap operas that I watched when I was young brought me these ideas of wanting to be on the side of a man. To describe it, it is being subservient to the woman of your affection. I am not exactly sure as to why I became that way. I have suffered major depression since a very early age. I just had no clue that it was an actual diagnosis. I only found out when I immigrated in a different country which is so far different from what I have known growing up until the last part of my teenage years.
A part of the journey to my spiritual-seeking moments was when I fell into the great depths of that dark hole; abyss right when I was in bed. A recollection of painful and sad memories was bestowed upon me as I lay beneath this soft one. I lie wounded again. Little did I know that this had something to do with a soul contract that I spiritually and verbally signed right before the cells started to form into human flesh inside of my mother's womb.
I figured all of these out when I met several people cross my road. One in my language class, out of nowhere sent me to a church where psychics express their devotion to the universe by connecting to the higher realms of consciousness and communicate with the people who got away in a form of looking into the different colours of the auras, and being a medium to talk to the people of the earthly plane.
I don't really know what they see, but I got curious and kept on coming back. I did not want to miss a day without going there, however, like usual, life happened and it got me to another place.
A place for meditation, and there, I connected to the divine mother and divine father. I am still learning all about it, and one time, in the midst of a meditation practice, I felt this fluttering feeling, almost as if my heart was going to pop out of my chest. It was a strong force, probably called an electromagnetic force which is tied to all the forces in the universe, tied to every creature, it is what we call in energy healing, the unconditional love.
At the same meditation centre for gnostic studies, I also met people who have been going there for about 3 or more years. Some stay, some don't. I also started becoming attracted to what you call Tarot cards and I actually bought more than seven to ten boxes of them to my excitement. Good thing that they were on sale so I did not have to buy them at their regular price which was a lot expensive.
It has been a while since I went back to my country of origin. I therefore, am planning to go back. All the while trying to establish myself where I am because I will still be needing the help of this place even though my heart is a traveller by nature and cannot keep myself in one space.
During my spiritual journey, I tried to not look at the women anymore and treat them as another soul on this plane and become my friends and sisters. For some, someone that I can help wherever their path leads them to. I have helped them in my own way. I learned about active listening. And when I listen to them, I try to solve their issues whether it might be a logical, spiritual, or emotional. If I cannot solve them myself, I refer them to another service provider or I try to search what they need and give them an idea if that what I had searched is right for them.
I also had trouble with alcohol at such a young age. Around eleven. I was clever enough to hide my drunkenness. I ended up talking and hanging out with different people of different perspectives and ages, sometimes scarier than others. I stopped some years ago and never came back to tasting even one tiny single droplet. And I am happy about my choice.
What was your biggest trigger to enlightenment? How did you overcome them? Have you face some addictions in your life that you have been trying to work on?