My Story! 📝

by Rennia Tivalu 6 months ago in health

My Sickness

My Story! 📝

Hey! I have renal failures, both kidneys failed when I was only 11 years old... I’m now 24 and I’m here to share my story. I’ve been in two kidney transplants, my first kidney was from an unknown donor back in 2008. It only lasted about a year but unfortunately, it failed... I was on a treatment called hemodialysis, I didn’t like it. I was very depressed and missed so much school because of it. My second kidney was in 2014 from a family member it lasted longer than my first but unfortunately, I lost that kidney mid last year 2018 due to my unexpected pregnancy. It was the hardest year I ever had to go through because I had lost my baby... I was very sick for months, and also devastated that I lost another kidney. I really thought I was going to die because I was very sick.

I am now back on dialysis and I can honestly say it does make me a little depressed at times but I am focusing on stabilising myself for me to get a third transplant. Doctors have told me that there’s a chance my next transplant could be my last shot at having a normal life again. I mean for someone who got sick at a very young age. I don’t really know what it’s like to experience reality and see life without always having to worry about treatments. I’ve been shut down from most jobs because of my condition and most likely I break down a lot, cry myself to sleep and I just think very negative about things. My depression sometimes gets the best out of me but I fought this long and I’m willing to keep fighting and see where I end up with my life. I may not have a normal life like everyone else but I am human and I live just like everyone else.

I’ve been in situations where it could’ve been the end of me but I’m very grateful that God loves me so much to spare my life through all the rough moments I had. With all the pain I’ve been through and still do go through (sometimes) isn’t easy but I hope maybe one day my story can help some people see life in a better and a more positive way. I never got the life I grew up to have because my condition is always in the way but I am willing to keep trying and see where life takes me. I hope for a miracle and pray that it gets easy for me someday. I’m just tired of the pain but I’m not giving up now. 😇

2018... when I went through a miscarriage and also lost my second kidney transplant. 😩

Around May just after my birthday on the 18th. I got admitted to the hospital two days later. I had been avoiding going to the hospital, but I was very weak I couldn’t walk. I was taken to emergency and doctors have told me that I was four months and five weeks pregnant. I was shocked because I didn’t know. 😢 They spoke to me about the situation I was in and it was the hardest thing to hear. I had to make a decision between getting an abortion for my kid or keep my baby and hope that they could save my kidney. I personally wanted to keep the baby but my parents weren’t supportive with the whole idea of me keeping it. They wanted me to save my kidney but that was so easy for them to say, and with the fact, my parents weren’t really too happy with the fact I was losing my kidney, I got very stress and depressed. I was in so much pain I couldn’t make a decision, I asked to give me two days to think about the abortion and with in those two days my parents basically just lectured me and blaming me for the fact that I got sick again. I stressed so much and unfortunately lost my baby during that time. I didn’t talk to anyone for five days, I was so upset I didn’t understand why but I just couldn’t talk to anyone. I wanted to be left alone.

Not long after I lost my baby, three days after that I lost my second kidney. It was such an painful time for me, I wanted to give up on life. I felt like I had no purpose to live when I don’t even know what to live for. My parents wanted me to move back home but little do they know my depression started from home and I didn’t want to go back to a place that put me through so much stress and pain. I’m grateful for my family but sometimes I wish my family would stop worrying so much for a second and see the fact that I could die tomorrow and just maybe I want to live a little while I still can. I can’t stop them from worrying but it’s My life and I didn’t fight this long to feel limited from the things in life. 💯

Admitted due to depression!

At this time I was very depressed, I honestly did not want to be at home so I’d be doing something stupid to put myself into the hospital. I’m not perfect but I try so hard every single day to stay alive even when my family doesn’t really know what I go through behind a fake smile but I have random break downs that I sometimes have no control over.

My body is filled with scars and this had to be the most painful one out of the rest...

I had to get this cut open to get a loop inside my hand for me to have access for my treatments. So basically inside my hand, there’s a loop, three times a week I got to the hospital for my treatments and they needle me with two big thick needles for both of the lines that drains out the waste in my body. What my treatment does, it can make me very weak at the end and also good sometimes. My treatment is doing the work that our kidneys do, the amount of fluid I drink that treatment drains it back out. I also have to be careful with what How much I drink because I’m on a fluid restriction. If I drink too much it’s not good for my heart, but if I don’t drink enough I could most likely pass out or feel very dry and drowsy. It’s hard to balance both lifestyles but I’m getting the hang of it.

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