Never at twenty-eight would I have thought chronic pain would try to consume and take over my life. The pain each day tries to fight and push me down but guess what pain? I am a fighter and I’ve been pushing back since the day you came into my life. At some point in my day though, sadness, frustration, or confusion to why I have to suffer every day can eat away at me. The frustration settles in when my daughter wants to play with me and all I can do is lay on the couch and watch a movie with her because my body feels like it’s been hit by a train. Chronic pain is a daily struggle from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. But I keep going because I have a family who loves me dearly and needs me in their lives. I keep going because I want to prove to pain that I can win this war. I want to keep going to show others with chronic pain that they are not alone.
At twenty-eight, younger or older what does your life look like health wise? If you are under twenty-eight, where do you see yourself at my age? I am hoping you are or were feeling great. Maybe a little sore after a six-mile run, you might need extra water, Tylenol and an ice pack on your knee on the way to work. But, all in all, extremely healthy with no limitations to what you can do on a daily basis. At twenty-eight, my body says no to running or playing basketball. My body will sometimes let me take a mile walk or two. But sometimes that is overdoing it. I can run around with my daughter for ten to twenty minutes at a time but then have to ice or heat myself for 45 minutes or stretch. I might try to take a yoga class or kickboxing class but may end up with an injury or flaring up my nerves, so my body says no social interactive classes for you, Miss Alyson.
I've noticed that my relationships with some family and friends have slipped away from me because the pain has just been too much to handle. Having to cancel prior engagements leaves people disappointed. I know they will always be there for me but missing out on life too much at such a young age is extremely not fair. However, the friendships that have kept going and stayed constant are beautiful. I have a little family of my own to be with each day. I'm truly never alone. My parents and brother are so supportive. My circle of friends is not big but they all have the biggest hearts and truly love me for me. I couldn't ask for better people in my life and I hope you all know that every time I can't be somewhere—my heart and my mind are thinking about you guys. Please keep loving my imperfect body because all of you have kept me alive and going.