Learning to deal with the twists & turns called ‘life’

Let’s face it, 2020 has been an eventful year full of many twists and turns. Some of the events that have taken place play more of a distinctive roll in our lives than others. Life is full of ups and life is full of downs. Accepting ‘ what is’ and letting go of what ‘could or should be’ gives us a sense of peace for a brighter tomorrow.

Meditation consists of breathing techniques and just being at total peace with yourself and the world. Meditation sessions can be as short as 5 minutes or could last up to 5 hours some even last days. It’s always good to have water at hand while meditating, really pay attention to your breaths and focus on the ‘here and the now’ when we focus on the here and now, we let go of any pre-existing fears from the past or even what could or should be in the future.

2020 has been a year full of many surprises: unexpected deaths, a decrease in wages, all classes are being held online, all gyms are closed.

You may not realize how much everything that’s going on around you can affect what’s going on inside of you. All of us have a soul. Our souls are very fragile and should be treated with love and care. No our souls aren’t something we can see but they are something we can feel and something we use daily in every part of our life.

Many have heard the terms: ‘he or she’s has a good soul’, ‘ soul food’, ‘ soup for the soul’, ‘ soul mates’ but didn’t actually know what it meant. Sometimes it isn’t until your soul experiences great loss aka depression that you realize how important it is to treat your soul good.

When we abuse our: Mind, bodies and souls we may start to sleep excessively. Our bodies go into ‘ defense mode’ and the way to protect ourselves our body literally ‘ shuts down’ like a car that just ran out of gas.

In today’s society, ‘ go, go, go’ is more accepted than, ‘ let’s stop and rest or stay in and rest this weekend’.

However, 6-8 hours of rest a night and sometimes even naps are much needed for our mind, bodies and souls to function properly. Without rest we aren’t functioning at our true potential.

Healthy eating habits, drinking plenty of water and avoiding negative situations and surroundings can also help keep you deal with sudden changes or ups and downs in a more positive and healthier manner.

Who we surround ourselves with in our daily lives is just as important as what we eat every day. Think of your life as a bank account. All the good vibes, positive feelings and happy times are deposits into your bank account. All the: negativity, Illness, addictions, unhealthy eating habits and turmoil are withdrawals. If you are giving 120% each day to everyone you come into contact with: always offering kind words, always opening the door, smiling at strangers, positive vibes and words to all and in return you are only receiving 10% then you will end up with a negative balance.

A negative balance translates into: depression, illnesses, stress, anger, addiction.

You may be 60 reading this thinking, well that means I need to eliminate all my friends and start over. You may think it’s too much trouble or you may not want to let go of life long friendships.

I can promise you, when you let go of something or someone you always get something else in return. If your thoughts and desires are focused more on what you want than what you don’t want then you will start to attract more, ‘like minded’ individuals.

Is it easy to let go of everyone you have considered close? No. Do you have to cut ties with everyone? No. But you can make a conscience effort to makes sure somehow your bank account balances out.

We’ve been conditioned to think that people are supposed to make me happy. Growing up you hear, “ find a guy/ girl that makes you happy”. Studies have shown that the least happiest people rely on people to make them happy and the happiest people rely on: hobbies, interests, learning, self love and the list goes on.

So should everyone stay inside the rest of their lives playing on their computers? Absolutely not! However, balance in all aspects of life and placing more responsibility on ourselves to make ourselves happy actually creates healthier relationships and boundaries with others.

It truly is no one else’s responsibility to make ourselves happy. Not: our spouse, child, boss, brother, sister, dog, cat, horse etc. it is our responsibility and our life and we have to grab it by the horns and ride it!

Many relationships fail due to high expectations. Expectations that we learn on: tv, movies, story books and the list goes on. Prior to loving or committing to anyone we have to truly learn to love ourselves,unconditionally. How can we love someone else if we don’t even love ourselves?

So what does self love entail? It means something different to every person. It could mean getting your nails done every weekend or going to the auto body shop for a new paint job on your car. There are so many variables that come into play when it comes to self love.

Everyone is different. Everyone has different interests, different desires and different experiences and that’s okay. Finding someone or a group of friends that accepts you for who you are the good and the bad. The weird, the ugly the dark days and everyday. You may think you’re hard to love or maybe someone from your past made you believe that. Please trust me when I say you will meet people that accept and love you just the way you are today.

So getting back to the twists and turns called, ‘Life’ how do we deal when everything we have ever known is changing before our very eyes?

It’s very simple. We can chose to remain: centered, focused, in the ‘now’ and clear headed or we can dwell on what could be or should be.

Some people get overwhelmed when they try to take on too much at one time. It’s always best to take everything ‘step by step’ and moment by moment. If you have to write a ‘to-do’ list to remain focused then that’s a great tool to utilize as well.

So how do we learn to accept sudden unexpected occurrences? It’s very simple, we learn to control our minds and not allow our minds to control us.

Our mind, body and soul are all connected and it is our responsibility to nurture and care for: our mind, our body and our soul.

When times get rough many turn to: drugs, alcohol, smoking, gambling or other ‘ quick fixes and addictions’.

Quick fixes are simply that. They may put a ‘bandaid’ on the problem but they will never solve the problem entirely.

Some chose to go on many luxurious vacations in hopes of ‘escaping’ the issue at hand but when they return, guess what? The problem or issue is still there.

We live in a society that excepts: filters, drug abuse, alcoholism and anything else we use as an ‘ escape’ more than simply talking or dealing with the issues honestly and truthfully.

Some of your ‘ best friends’ may be ‘ in the closest’ drug abusers and you have no idea. Unfortunately, these souls don’t feel safe opening up to many. If you do know someone dealing with an addiction please don’t judge this person, ridicule this person or think negatively about this person. The only thing that can heal this person is unconditional love and compassion.

The world needs more unconditional love and compassion. Learning to love and accept yourself unconditionally, flaws and all will help you accept and love others unconditionally.

If you can’t help someone, at least don’t hurt someone. Life is full of ups and downs, ins and outs and some lessons are the greatest blessings. Others may not understand our journey or why we do what we do and that’s okay. Acceptance is key in all areas of life.

Breathe, let go and live in the moment. You’ve got this!