I was told it was just Anxiety.

In the March 2019, my hair started falling out.

Hands full of hair every time I showered or brushed my hair. My hair thinned to a point where I didn't recognize myself when I looked in the mirror. My entire life I had thick, full hair. It was pin straight but there was a lot of it. One day when I looked in the mirror my hair was see-through and when I looked at my scalp I saw skin where there had always been a full head of hair.

I told my doctor. She told me it was probably just my generalized anxiety disorder. Hair loss is a common symptom of GAD. I believed her and I started to take a vitamin called Biotin that was supposed to help the skin and hair. It did nothing.

May 2019, I started noticing I was losing weight. At first I thought I was just imaging it. But I started losing 1-2 pounds every week.

I told my doctor. She chalked it up to my anxiety once again. Weight loss can be a symptom of anxiety.

But to be safe she wanted to make sure I didn't have any problems with my thyroid. She ran some blood and urine tests on me as well as a stool culture. But everything came back normal to her. So once again she brushed it off as just anxiety.

But the weight loss and hair loss continued and I started to piece together more symptoms that I had always struggled with. Symptoms that I had never really realized were symptoms because it was just my reality. Rashes that I was told were eczema. Fatigue. Feeling sick...all the time. Joint and muscle pain. Brain fog. Sunburns.

I knew that something was wrong and I wasn't getting answers from my primary care doctor. Half a year later and I was finally able to secure an appointment with a Rheumatologist. I knew my symptoms aligned with a lot of rheumatic diseases so I thought it would be good to get a second opinion from a Rheumatologist. But I had to wait a while before my appointment because, let's be real, the health care system is pretty flawed.

February 2020, I finally get to see a Rheumatologist. Going into that appointment, I felt silly like I was being dramatic going to a rheumatologist. I felt like he was going to confirm my primary care doctor's original diagnosis of "anxiety" and I would officially be a hypochondriac. Sitting in that waiting room I felt like a fraud who shouldn't be there at all. I had to keep reminding myself that I knew my own body and something felt wrong.

When I finally got to see the doctor, he advocated for me! This was something I never had with previous doctors. I always had to push to get any form of testing or to get a second opinion. But this doctor agreed that my symptoms were extremely abnormal. When I pointed out the weight loss that by this point was over 30 pounds he was shocked that my primary care doctor didn't look into it more.

At the end of my appointment he was almost certain I had something wrong with me but he just didn't know what yet. He sent me to a lab to get about 15 blood tests done.

About a month later when all of my testing had come back I got a call from my Rheumatologist. He told me I had a positive ANA test and he believed that I had Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. He put me on a medication called Hydroxychloroquine and we made a healthcare plan together.

I was told for a year that it was just anxiety. I should have been getting treated that entire year but instead that year was wasted because my primary care doctor didn't take me seriously.

In the end, I realized that even if someone thinks you are hypochondriac or doesn't believe your symptoms, you know your body better than anyone else. My doctor made me believe that my pain was all in my head and that my weight and hair loss were just symptoms of anxiety. I believed what she said because she was a doctor, but in the end she wasn't right.

In the end, you have to be your own advocate.

You know your body better than anyone else.