I Had a Stroke (Pt. 3)

As the ambulance pulled off, I had an unobstructed view of the highway. By now, I couldn't speak. I knew what I wanted to say, but my mouth wouldn't/couldn't respond to my desires. However, I could smile, and everything was funny. I felt like giggling the whole time I was in the ambulance. But I was concerned the paramedic riding with me would think something was wrong. This is just a little bit of what I was thinking.

"Commander, this is Zebra squadron. We are the rendezvous coordinates. Repeat. We have arrived at Checkpoint Charlie. Awaiting the target convey. Over."

"Well done, Zebra leader! You are a go for attack. Repeat. You are authorized for weapons hot!"

"Roger Command. Operation is a go! We are going weapons hot. Going big, so we can go home. All Hail the Republic!"

All I wanted to do was put my hands up in the air, and start shooting my quad laser cannons out the door. I nearly busted out laughing. Several times.

So, instead of blowing up Imperial Tie fighters, I rode that ambulance gurney like it was my last roller coaster. I felt every bump and lane change. At any other time, the ride would have been somewhat enjoyable. Trouble was that my butt was getting numb from all that sitting. All I could do was wiggle from time to time and ease the pressure.

The paramedic in the back had finished her computer input, and had settled in for the ride. The next thing I saw was a line of cars sitting on both sides of the road. I thought that was extremely odd. We were riding down the middle of the road.

I heard the driver say, "Can I get through?"

Another voice responded, but I couldn't make out what he said. Apparently, it was "go-ahead," because we started moving again. The wisdom of us riding in the ambulance became abundantly clear. We were driving through a five-car accident scene with one confirmed fatality. We would have sat there an hour before we got through. I didn't necessarily have that hour.

We peeled off and continued our trip to the hospital. A mile or so later, we picked up a tail. The ambulance on scene began tailing us. Curve for curve. Lane for lane. They shadowed us. Picking up speed as they followed us. Then, it became a race.

I imagined it was something like this.

Into the stretch Rescue 1, enters the first turn followed by a slight loss of traction as the wheels leave the road.

But not to be deterred, rescue two jams on the accelerator to close that ever-widening gap into the city limits.

Between the diminished city blocks the cars and trucks making up the city move to the left and right allowing these two mighty servants of the great republic.

Left. Right. Left and right. They weave in between the traffic of the ever-widening gap the concerned citizens create for the heroic first responders.

Left and right, indeed. Move for move Rescue two followed us down the road. Suddenly, another vehicle, a green Jeep CJ jumped in front of them. Narrowly avoiding a collision, the Jeep pulled back into the turn lane and stopped. Rescue two managed to swerve around them, and get back into the turn lane.

We both pulled into the ambulance bay at the same time, with Rescue one having a slight advantage. The intake attendant in the ER confirmed that Rescue two had delivered one of the accident victims.

Now we were in the ER lined wall to wall with people, patients, and staff.

My driver, of both gurney and ambulance, says, "Excuse us. Make way. Make way. You there, move aside!"

Well, not exactly, but it was funny.

They wheeled me down to the room I was to inhabit for the time being. I scrambled off the hard gurney onto the equally uncomfortable ER bed. Before they left, I was gifted the most hideously colored orangey-peachy sheets I had been cocooned in.

"Your welcome."

But I couldn't say, "Thank you."

Nor did I want to.

Overall, the ambulance and the EMTs were excellent. I was honored to ride with them.

As they left to begin their return trip, the circus acts began filing into the room.

It was around 4:30 PM.

All joking aside, the next few hours, are best described as a joke.

–Stayed tuned for part four.