I Am Suffering With Chronic Pain. I Am Not Lazy
It's hard to suffer and be discriminated against at the same time.
I want to talk some more about my condition. I know I have expressed some about Auto Immune Diseases, but today I have a new point to make.
Chronic pain is a serious issue and fibromyalgia fits in that category, but it has so many more symptoms that make your body betray you. I am so sick and tired of feeling like people don't take me seriously or believe me, or people telling me to suck it up. I am tired of people saying I'm lazy, or I'm not ambitious. I want to do so much but my body literally won't let me do the things I want to. It's like being in a bad relationship with someone, and you want to leave but at the same time can't afford the lease break fee. If people truly knew how I felt, I don't know that they would know what to say.
I was talking with my boss and told her and I quote, "I wish I could do what I want 100 percent all of the time. My body just won't let me do what I want to do." To which she replied, "the only person who can change that is you". ... I was speechless! I can't change my body's chemistry. I can try to lose weight, but I can't change a lifelong chronic illness that will affect me for the rest of my life. I couldn't believe that she had said that to me. I am new to this diagnosis, but I have felt the discrimination and it makes me so sad.
I was in a wreck November 24, 2016. I was taken to the hospital and I told them that I had fibromyalgia. Not one test was performed on me. I had no x-rays, no scans, and no one really looked me over. Three months later, I am being looked at by a physical therapist because of the horrible cracking pain in my shoulder. She told me that I had a cracked labrium, and the cartilage had been damaged, damage that could have probably been avoided if the darned hospital had just looked me over. But no, they did not, because hospitals and doctors think that chronic pain sufferers are pill heads that look for pain killers.
How fair do you think that is? To be in need of relief, but you can't have it because other people have abused it. So along with my pain that is blinding and debilitating at times, I suffer with depression because I feel like no one will help me. I suffer with anxiety and sensory overload. I suffer with mind fog where I forget where I put my glass of tea down as easily as I forget my best friend's name. I suffer with fatigue, no matter how much I sleep. I suffer. I am so tired of suffering and being helpless.
Another thing that is so annoying to someone with a chronic illness is that everyone suddenly has a PhD and knows exactly what to do about me "situation."
If you do not know a person with this problem, don't try to tell them "what they need to do." Just be understanding. Educate yourself, learn about the illness as much as you can. Don't criticize them or give them "I told you so's." Just be there for them and show them how much you support them. Listen to them and help them find treatments. Sometimes all it takes is to be a good friend.