How To Make Sure Anger Works For You Not Against You
Everybody get angry occasionally. But if you are angry constantly, you need to work on it. Anger management is a big issue. The fact is that anger is a natural human emotion.
Everybody get angry occasionally. But if you are angry constantly, you need to work on it.
Anger management is a big issue. The fact is that anger is a natural human emotion. It is an emotional response to a perceived or real threat. It causes an adrenaline rush and also often overpowers other emotions. It usually results in aggressive behavior.
When you should be concerned
You should be concerned when you seem to be angry all the time and when it seems that anger has taken over your life. When anything little thing can set you off, and you experience a lot of rage, including road rage, which affects your normal daily life, you need to take a close look at yourself.
And if that anger finds expression in violence, destructive or abusive behavior, you definitely need help. That is the time to see a psychotherapist or a psychologist.
Should you express your anger?
There was a time, not too long ago, when it was considered fine to express your anger at a person or situation, by words or action. Bottling up anger was supposed to be bad for your physical and mental health.
However, there is a time and place for everything. If you are constantly angry and you express your anger, other people can get physically or emotionally hurt and that can come back to you in myriad ways.
Anger fuels anger
Unfortunately anger fuels anger. When you vent your spleen on a person, chances are that person will either talk back to you, escalating the situation or take it out on another person. And the vicious cycle goes on. If you are stressed and angry because you got up late and shouted at your kid or wife, and then that person shouted at another or was short with somebody else, you will have succeeded in ruining a lot of people’s days.
On the flip side, say if your boss or co-worker gets angry with you, at office you may shout at your juniors or go home and shout at your family members. Anger is very contagious and it seems to increase with each person.
Can you make anger work for you?
While anger is perceived as a negative emotion, you can actually get it work for you. Just think, if you were never angry, always calm and laid back, there is a very real possibility that you would never get anything done. In that scenario, you may be perceived as weak and submissive. In fact, such people are always picked upon and often looked down upon.
However, if you are constantly angry or in a rage, and you have been told by people around you that there is something wrong with you, you do need to learn anger management therapies.
Some anger management techniques
Sometimes it just needs a little objectivity to find out how to control your anger and how to make it work for you.
- Identify the causes or triggers of your rage
- When you see yourself getting angry, take time out
- Practice relaxation techniques or simply quite down and count to ten, taking deep breaths
- Take a coffee break or a bathroom break or go for a short walk
- Sit down and read the newspaper or a book or listen to music
- Don’t have unrealistic expectations from people around you or yourself
- Let go of the cause of the anger and don’t hold a grudge – you will only be harming yourself
- If you cannot help yourself, then seek professional help.
Control Your Anger Through Anger Management
Anger is a naturally emotion that every person possesses; however, the way in which we show our anger is a totally different aspect. Many people do not know how to control their anger and this leads to violent, often destructive behavior. Learning to control or manage your anger is very important. Of course, if a person has attacked you, you do not want to stand there, count to ten, or whatever before reacting. On the other hand, if someone accidentally bumps into you, you do not want to knock his or her head off.
How to Control Anger
Learning how to control your anger is a life long learning process. You will not be able to control your anger overnight. You will need to follow a guideline that will help you control this emotion along with the proper ways in which to show how you feel without explosive episodes.
The first step is excepting you have a problem controlling your anger. This is more than likely the most important step of all because if you do not think you have a problem, you will not be ready to change your lifestyle or do the appropriate changes that need to be done to control something you do not think is wrong.
The next step is a simple one. You must now prepare yourself for the change. This means that you have accepted you have an anger problem and you are ready to change. During this step, it is important to keep a journal or diary. You will keep track of the things that make you anger along with the way in which you handled each situation. This journal will be your guide to help you realize what type of situation brings on your angry feelings, so you can be better prepared to control the anger. Once you know the triggers, this will be much easier to accomplish.
Now, you are ready to begin to learn to control your anger. In most cases, you will need to write out reasons you need to stay calm in the situations that trigger your anger. Some of these reasons could be – not wanting your children to have this behavior, not wanting to lose your job, to save your marriage, to stay out of jail, etc… The list can go on and on forever according to your own personal reasons.
Once you know what will happen if you explode, now you can figure out the way you should react during these situation that make you angry. It is a good idea to write these down as well. Writing down all this information makes it more real and will allow you to see in writing how you have acted previously and how you wish to act next time.
Anger management is not something you can learn in a few short months. Many people struggle throughout their lives with this issue and must remember to slow it down and consider the consequences in order to stay calm and cool.