Heartburn

It was two days before my 22nd birthday when I told my mom I need to go to the emergency room because I was getting worse.

For four days, I experienced the worst pain that I’ve ever been in. The pain was the main thing. I couldn’t take a breath without curling into a ball from the pain that shoots down my spine. It felt like needles piercing me around my chest and upper back. I had to unintentionally starve myself during the time because eating would send more pain to my chest and back. I could not drink anything without hurting with every gulp. I reverted to eating crackers and taking sips of water during those four days.

Other Issues

Sleeping was another issue. It was nearly impossible to get five hours of rest without waking up, crying. I felt like I was floating on a cloud and nothing made sense to me. I just wanted the pain to stop, so I could at least sleep. I was not in my right mind. I thought about going to a doctor, but I waited because I thought I need to just rest. I told myself I would feel better in the morning.

At the time, I was going to school. I had homework to turn in and classes to attend. In those four days, I went to two days of classes—which I do not really remember going—and I tried to pay attention. I went to school one morning in tears. I thought I could do it, but I was in too much pain to even walk to the classroom. I pulled my teacher aside and told her I could not attend her class that morning. The worried look on her face is something I could still see today in my mind. It makes me wonder what I really looked like at that moment, crumbling under the pain with a stream of tears down my cheeks. I could not tell what was wrong, but it hit me then that I really had a problem that was not going away. I need to get help.

Controlling Phobia

The pain was not convincing enough for me to see a doctor right away. The idea of seeing a doctor made me sweat. I would rather be in pain than see someone who could answer what was wrong with me. The fact that I have Trypanophobia also powers my decision in health care. My mom was concern about my condition but did not say much. She took care of me as best she could, but she respected my wishes to not go to the hospital. It hurt a little to see the look of concern on her face when the topic came up.

I had to put my foot down that Friday night and get my mom to drive me to the emergency room at our local hospital. That night, she decided to stay home because we were expecting my sister to come for the weekend and she was concern about my health. I was glued to the couch at this point. My diet consisted of crackers, water, and Gatorade. A feeling washed over me around eight that night. A voice played in my head repeatedly. It said to go to the emergency room now. After a minute, I looked at my mom on the couch across the room and said, “I think I need to go to the ER.”

Emergency Room Trip

My emergency room trip was April 8, 2016, and I was there for four hours. Hanging about in the waiting room was anguishing. I tried to answer the nurse’s questions, but she looked confused by the answers that I gave her. Over the four hours, I got the typical test done and an X-ray scan of my chest. I remember laying there, feeling the IV needle in my arm and hating that I was in a hospital gown.

I remember watching some home improvement show and Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I could not help thinking that I would end up as one of the children in the movie. I will have something permanent and it will not go away. My mom and her boyfriend were sitting in the chairs across the room, looking tired and ready to go. I felt bad for putting them in this position, but I was more nervous about what the doctors will find.

It was getting close to midnight and I still did not hear from a doctor or nurse. At some point, the nurse came in and told us that there is a patient who came in and needs urgent care, so we would have to wait a little more. I was fine with this and so was my party. I did not want to leave without finding out why I was in so much pain.

The Result

The result was a flare up from acid reflux. A bad one. I know this might be a light sentence from someone who has a terminal disease that is slowly killing them from the inside, but it meant something to me. I did not know that a simple, ordinary thing could put me in so much pain. I was given this pink stuff and a prescription for medicine. The medicine did not work right away, so I had to suffer for the rest of the night.

My sister was already at the house when we got back, and she wanted us to go to the beach the next day. Everything in my body screamed “no,” but I went along with it. It was a great beach trip. The pain was mostly gone, but it was still hard to eat or drink. Even so, I felt like I had a chance again. My health was on the forefront and it was time to take care of myself.

My 24th birthday past couple of months ago. I have not experienced any pain from Acid Reflex since then.