Dukha and My Suffering

The pessimism of life relates to how the only consistent thing we humans go through is suffering. Every human being indulges in some sort of suffering. Whether it be an illness, divorce, death, etc., it is the only constant thing in life. I believe “dukkha” (meaning suffering in Pali) is something easily obtained, however, it is harder to escape it. Suffering only comes from “trsna” or thirst for objects of existence and non-existence. Thirst is something all humans have, we thirst to be loved, we thirst for success, we thirst for concepts that are not even tangible. Such a thirst leads to inevitable loss. And how do we get rid of such a thirst? We must let go.

My Buddhist Philosophy class taught me the above and made me realize the potential in a human being and the power of the proclamation of mental freedom. Relinquishing pain comes through radical acceptance and meditation. The moments where you sit down and come as one with the universe teaches you a lot about who you are and what you can be. The alignment of the body and soul with the sound of “Om” allows a transcending experience beyond this world. What you realize after is an epiphany.

At least in my opinion, this epiphany is not a dichotomy, it is a spectrum. What I mean by that is simple, a personal awakening has varying degrees and potencies. When you do experience such a thing, it is an experience of itself to go through and unlock different dimensions of growth and progress within. You do not just stop after one meditation session. I used to try and meditate on my first abusive relationship. I created some sort of attachment to my abuser and tried and figured how to let go of that “bond.” Soon I realized that attachment was nothing more than the love I had for his idealized image I had in my mind about him. I never saw him as someone who had hit me and made me cry in the bathroom in high school during class. I saw him as someone else, a protector and friend.

Such discrepancies in this view made me realize perception is different than reality, and sometimes we need to let go of the perceived notions we have towards someone. Maybe my perception and thirst towards such a thought created my suffering. Or maybe I simply longed for the wrong things from the wrong person. That moment I realized who I loved was different than who he was, I learned to “grieve” from the loss of such an entity. Yes, it was not a death, but the loss of anything needs time and importance as any sort of catalysis.

The way you treat grief should be the way you treat suffering. Suffering comes from attachment, whether it be good or bad, and grief comes from the loss of such a love for a person, whether good or bad. I began to let go of the memories of my abuser, such as the belittling, the hits, and the torture I faced. It was simply the radical acceptance of “it is over” and “he is different than the perfect concept I had of him.” It took me 3 months of constant meditative audiotapes of radical acceptance and journaling that allowed me to be who I am today: an escaped prisoner of abuse.

Buddhism taught me so much in regards to the treatment of my own mental health issues. I have evolved as a human being and it is thanks to religious teachings. Letting go is a powerful concept that can help anyone. I learned to escape the prison within my mind of traumatic memories. I also developed a spiritual life for myself that allows me to regulate and put my mind at ease. Letting go creates ways to put entropy in its place, and grants peace in life.