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Covid Rant

by Alfiya Laxmidhar 5 months ago in humanity ยท updated 5 months ago
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My experience with Covid

Covid Rant
Photo by Rex Pickar on Unsplash

When I knew I had Covid

I am a nurse and I found out I had Covid at work, in the hospital, where I was interacting with nurses, doctors and patients. I had my N95 mask on to make sure if I coughed or sneezed it wouldn't spray everywhere but my cough started very subtly and then by 1130 I was getting aches in my neck and shoulders.

I told the receptionist who I was sitting next to "I'm doing a Covid test as I'm feeling a bit off."

So I swabbed my throat, not my nose because I was hearing how many people swabbed their throats and obtained a positive result but the nose swab came back negative.

My throat swab did come back positive and out of curiosity I did a nose swab which came back negative.

I then told my managers who told me to 'Get well,' and I left the hospital. In New Zealand, if working at a hospital, I'm not sure about other places, but we can come back to work either if we a) get two consecutive negative results or b) 11 days has passed, whichever comes first.

Yesterday would have been the eleventh day, but I'm still coughing frequently, it feels like there is always a blob of phlegm in my throat, my breathing isn't terrible but I can definitely feel there is increased exertion when breathing, my moods has been low and I sometimes feel a rise in body temperature which can last an hour and go back down to normal.

When I went home from work, I naturally passed it onto my partner and our boys. Our youngest son who is two, spiked a temperature and vomited three times. Our other three year old son spiked a temp for three days and was feeling miserable in general. My partner has been coughing, sneezing, experienced body aches and experiencing a low mood.

Covid and Mental Health

I have never had a diagnosis of depression but I have experienced times where I think I may have been depressed. Covid has been the first virus I have experienced where my mood has changed quite considerably since being home and isolating.

Generally, being at home with the family usually is relaxing and a chilled experience. For some reason, about day 6 was when the low mood and anxiety emerged and it has always been around since, in different doses but still ever present. My initial reaction was to freak out about the new moods and feelings so I had a meltdown, but I ended up saying some hurtful things out of fear. Then I started to distance myself away but that meant I just kept dwelling on my self to the point it was becoming worse. Then I started to bake and cook more, and that helped as it took my focus onto something productive. I have also started meditating more and listening to Solfeggio frequencies which, I'm not sure they do what they say like 'Healing' or 'Get rid of unconscious negative blocks,' but the Solfeggio frequencies are indeed calming. I listen to it while writing and in the kitchen. Sometimes there is a breakthrough of the mood, but it tends to linger around so far.

Covid as a catalyst for change

I look at me and what is happening with the virus within me, and how it has changed me mentally and physically. Yet, I don't mind the change, maybe I needed this as a cause for a change. I was meditating but stopped months ago, yet now it has returned. I was better at eating healthier before children, yet since Covid happened, I want to eat better, my taste buds no longer want sweets and today was the first day I started the day without needing a coffee. Time is spent wisely, as I no longer have the same energy levels as before, I am more interested in resting when I can.

How it has changed my perspective with health and my job

I had my two vaccines and had a booster shot, yet I still contracted Covid. That is a fact. Some people out there say if you didn't get the vaccines, you would be worse off. I don't know how people can say that with absolute truth. I don't know if there is a study to compare people who have had vaccines and their symptoms vs unvaccinated people and their symptoms.

Vaccines are great, historically they have saved a lot of lives and prevented disease. I'm a nurse, so it would be hypocritical of me not to get vaccines for the time of Covid.

However, to be honest, I don't think the anti-vaxxers of Covid are bad people or ignorant. Maybe they have a point. I personally don't get the flu vaccine because when I have had them twice in life, I always end up taking a week off work from the side effects. It makes me feel worse off and I have never had the flu yet so that is a personal decision. I don't tell many of my colleagues that because, quite frankly, health professionals can be judgemental and self righteous.

Just by observing what I hear within hospital walls, there is a lot of judgement for patients who choose a path for their own health and well being and who probably aren't listened to or respected. Health professionals should be aiming to create a safe space for patients, no matter what the patients believe in, not a space which is harmful and judgemental. Educating patients is one thing if it is to offer information that might be useful for the patient, but it is another thing to make comments and share opinions to undermine the patient's decision.


About the author

Alfiya Laxmidhar

Love words and their origin. Like poetry. Rumi is my favorite.

Thank you for stopping by.

Facebook: Alfiya Re Lax

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