Body Positivity... Has It Gone Too Far?

As we prepare to enter the new year, there are some topics I think we should address. Body positivity is one of them. No one likes a bully and no one is condoning body shaming, however, I think we’ve taken the whole body positivity thing a little too far.

For instance, we’re now saying a body at “any” size is healthy. This cannot be correct. It is false advertising to women to say that they can have any size body and still be healthy. If you’re extremely overweight like 500 pounds, there’s no way you are healthy. You might not suffer from any diseases, but your skin, hair, heart, stomach and other organs are suffering from the sheer weight. You’re supposed to weigh a healthy weight. I don’t think that weight is skinny as a beanstalk, and there’s nothing wrong with a little extra fluff. However, your joints and muscles simply aren’t made to constantly pack hundreds of extra weight all the time.

We also tell women that everyone is beautiful. Beauty is like art, it's subjective to each person. It’s the same as one person liking the color orange and another hating it. It’s normal and makes up the diverse individuals we are. There is a standard of beauty that is present in Hollywood, movies, music, and art. What that means is the standard is the look or features most accepted, approved or preferred by the majority. Whether that is a heart-shaped face, thin body, bigger boobs, long legs or junk in the trunk is subjective to what each person wants and desires.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this perception. I’m a big girl. Normally I weight 280 pounds. It’s not the weight I want to be or enjoy being and I strive to lose weight. Some men may find me unattractive because of my weight, where it sits or how they think I got overweight. Guess what? That’s fine. Think of me as a sculpture, a piece of art — not every collector is going to want to buy me, but there might be some that will.

This is present in everything… clothes, shoes, bags, hats, umbrellas, knick-knacks and supplies. It’s the way the world revolves and it works pretty well. Now, bullying is not cool and it's unfortunate when it happens. However, you can’t go around policing what people say because it hurts your feelings. Instead, focus on the next generation. Teach them about being honest, but also being kind. Teach your daughters not to ask questions they don’t want the answers to. That’s a game and it isn’t cool. You can’t be upset by what everyone says all the time. Let it fall off like water off a ducks back.

To address body positivity specifically there are things about it that are true. We should be teaching young men and women to accept themselves how they are. That is to say, the things they can’t change. They shouldn’t have to change for someone. Things you can change, like weight, your hair, your presentation of yourself — those you can and should focus on improving and accepting.

Don’t use body positivity to make excuses for people to eat thousands of calories a day, gain hundreds of pounds and get to where they can no longer walk, fit through doorways, shower or stand. My 600-pound life is not a positive body image. Neither is skin and bones. There is a healthy medium. Being so overweight you can’t keep clean, you get skin infections, some people are so big their skin begins to rot because it can’t breathe and stay clean. These are not things to aspire to or be accepted as something normal.

Bullying is something you can’t control as an adult. People are going to be mean to you. The fact is there are parents out there who don’t care, don’t teach their kids manners, or how to be decent human beings. That is just a fact of life.

The point of this whole thing is to accept who you are, fix what you can fix, and improve what you can improve. Do it for you and not for someone else.