A Broken Silence

Chapter 1 About Moi

About Moi

Well, I can speak very little French—would like to learn and speak French as it's so sexy. Unfortunately, I did not learn French at school (will explain in the future chapter).

I believe you decided to read my stories in my Vocal "book" as you probably wanted to know about deaf life; you may become a newly-deaf person! Need an advice for a deaf child too? Or interested about me and my deaf life? Well, I am glad you are because I wanted to share with you.

So I am... "Lauran," a daughter, a mother, a partner, a creative designer, a beauty consultant, and much more I can do with my skills and knowledge. Not "Deaf Lauran." I wanted to be THE "Lauran" as I like to be recognised for my skills, not my disability.

I am a daughter of Cornock, Cheshire-born. I am only a deaf person in the hearing family. Tragedy, I know. I was once a hearing person like you—I will tell you in next chapter.

I am a mother of two beautiful hearing girls. I am so proud of being a mother and loving every minute of it, despite experience having a tantrum child. *Chuckles*

I am a partner with Angolan-born man who does admire me for who I am and what I am. Always being there for me when I am down, although he sometimes gets easily annoyed when I cry and try to listen to him. I cannot help but struggle with his accent! He speaks very fluent English excellently. I love him but hate him. Don't ask me, but I will explain in the future chapter.

I am a creative designer with many, many skills I can do anything such as sewing, knitting, painting, DIY-ing, drawing, making lot of things, baking, digital creating, photographing, modelling and much more. Sadly, my hands start to get tired and achy. Had no choice but gave up on sewing, knitting, or anything where I clench my hands too much. I have to relax my hands more often. However, I love my Mac which means digital creating. Yiphee!

I am a beauty consultant at home. I only just started as I wanted to work at home so I can be with my girls. Away from ridiculous work—I’ll explain in the future chapters.

I am a volunteer model. I love to model as it makes me feel a complete whole talented person that I can do anything to make me forget the deafness I have. It’s hard to explain but I will tell you though.

I am a very well-spoken deaf person, not a signed deaf person. I used to be but gave that up due to against the odds of between hearing people and deaf people. Still, I will sign to some deaf people who do sign respectively.

I am APD sufferer. APD stands “Auditory Processing Disorder.” I did not know that since my parents told me since my PIP rejections. I just realised that that reason why I struggle so many times in schools, colleges, university, and public too. It’s awful extra burden for me. Having a deafness is enough but another condition in me…? Depressingly, I know it’s a difficult life for me to cope but I'm trying so hard for my girls.

I don’t like to show my girls that I have a deafness and APD. I wanted to show them that I am their mother with many talents that I am willing to give you and them so much.

I am employed but on a maternity leave. I don’t want to go back to work because of the way they treated me (not too bad—I will tell you). However, I just wanted to be with my girls and stay at home with no worries, no let-downs, no rejections out there I have to suffer.

Goodness me, I got so many stories to tell you and willing to tell because it was, well still is a difficult life for me. Hope you don’t feel sorry for me. I just wanted you to feel and understand how I feel and my experiences.

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My Tip for Parents

Let your child be happy with themselves. Ensure that s/he is more relaxed with you in communication and unconditionally no matter what. Make them feel like they can do anything as a great personality they can show you. Oh, how much they are willing to show you. Trust me.

My Tip for Sufferers

Please do not let yourself down or do not give up at all! Show them your amazing personality! Just do it.

“Keep moving forward” - Walt Disney. My favourite quote!