Writing 101

The SIX Basic Rules of writing.

Sounds professional doesn't it?

RULE ONE; There are not a lot of good writers out and about. Get that thought out of your head right now. If you're looking for a way to make money, this is not it. Writing, is not about money, or fame. Oh sure, a few lucky ones have made it to the big time. Authors you know and love, people you can probably count on one or two hands. Since I'm fantascizing about this, I'll take a crack at it myself.

RIGHT HAND: Ray Bradbury, Isaac Asimov, Frank Herbert, J.K. Rowling... Walt Disney. Meh. Let's replace Walt with George Lucas. I want to get the big ones in there. Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Dune and I, Robot.

Now, the LEFT HAND: These are authors I know and love, and... I'm pretty sure none of them are multi-millionaire super hits. R.A. Salvatore. L. Ron Hubbard. Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. I'll end the list there and save my pinky finger for cutting off later.

You can argue your opinion with me all you want, but the best thing about being an author is; You never have to hear the chatter. That is ofcourse, unless you want to hear it... or rather, read it. And then, you get to view all the digusting nastiness that people can possibly come up with. If you;re looking for a quick way to commit suicide, or grow a thick skin, writing something dear to your heart, publishing it, and having it ripped apart by every god fearing, jealous, barely able to form full sentences- hack, is surely a great motivator.

Now, put all of that bullshit out of your mind, and FOCUS. That's actualy RULE TWO; FOCUS. Rule one was waking up and smelling the coffee mixed with urine and knowing not to drink the kool-aid that disgusting haters are always trying to slip you. Rule two is, you've got to focus. Maybe your focus is with a pair of head phones on, with music blaring, and the kids screaming in the background. Maybe your idea is a quiet room with absolute silence. Whatever your idea of focus is, realize that focus, is the ability to give your writing your absolute, undying, unyielding attention, when you're writing. It doesn't need to be sixteen hours straight. It doesn't need to be absolute silence 24 hours. Just... do what comes natural.

RULE THREE: Let it flow. You ever hear of writers block? You think it's a real thing? It's NOT! No, no, no. If you have writer's block, then you;re trying to do some shit you shouldn't be doing! What DEADLINE are you trying to make? What bullshit are you trying to come up with to bridge the gap? Jesus Christ! Leave it out! I'll put it this way. Write, when you feel like writing. When you're good and god damned ready to write. And then, have at it. If you can't come up with a good beginning, start in the middle! There is no right and wrong. When you're the author, EVERYTHING is your IMAGINATION.

Alright, besides all the stadard bullshit about not copying other people's ideas, and not performing plagarism, there really aren't many other major rules to legally abide by. But that all just wraps about the Ye Olde ball of string, rubber bands, wax, whatever. RULE FOUR! Be Original! Now... this is kind of an oxymoron. How can you be original when almost every good idea has already been done? Well, that's up to you. The haters are going to try and draw similarities between your work and countless others so don't worry about that. Wanna write about an orphaned turtle that finds out his father is the head of an evil galactic empire flying around space inside a Death Shell? See? Sounds familiar, doesn't it.

Have you ever taken a writing course where they lay out the entire story from beginning to end and tell you about the climax and the closing, the prologue and all that bullshit? Nice that they kind of dissect every book and then label the pieces for you, right? They needed to do that. You NEED to have a CLIMAX in the middle, right! RIGHT!??? Well... it might be nice, depending on the company you keep. The reality is, keeping your audience captivated is more important that following any prescribed writing form, unless you really get worked up over prose and grammar.

What people are looking for today, like in 2022 day and age, is edgy, quirky, unique and original stories they can relate to. Unfortunately, a LOT of that is 1000 words or less, short stories that capture just a bit of your attention before your ADHD kicks in and you must - SQUIRREL! I mean, you loose your focus and SQUIRREL! Yeah. Yup, that's about it.

You see, going back to rule number one. Not many people have the drive to stick with it through the long haul. Writing a book, like, 100,000 words... whoa. Unless you're some 60's age writer using voice to text to talk about your favorite politician, or you wanna tell your life story, there just isn;t a lot of desire for writing that kind of thing.

Science Fiction and Fantasy is the NUMBER ONE desired genre of books, and the NUMBER ONE genre for dwindling authors. Unless you;re that guy who slaps his name on any one of a hundred different books, as Co-Authored by him... you know the one. Ugh. Or the person who did all that erotic fan-fiction and then pulled her stuff, changed the names and republished her stuff as something completely legit! By the way, that's legal, as long as the story you tell and the characters are original.

RULE FIVE!!!! Writing REQUIRES PAPER!!!! It's called writing for a reason! The best authors have notes. Endless pages of notes and ideas, pictures maybe, doodles, comments, scenarios. Writing... GOOD Writing, requires paper. Make a timeline. Make a couple. Make notes.

RULE SIX. This is the MYSTERY rule. Yeah... it's called "mystery" not because you need to include mystery, but because it's a mystery. Not only that but, keeping your audience/readers captivated and entertained is all part of the process. Here, I'll give you an example.

DEATH SHELL. My impromptu title in work. A story about an orphaned turtle, right? Well, I'd start with a linear time line, and then start out with the main character. Lewis. Lewis sounds like a good turtle name, right? Lewis... has a light saber? No. But a glowing shell? Mmmm. Maybe! In the end, does Lewis save his dad from the darkness, or does he vanquish a foe? What is the GOAL??? By the way, in some of the biggest and best books, there is no clear goal, no set boundaries. Think about it....

In Harry Potter and the Sorcer's/Philosipher's Stone, Hogwarts was this magical place to be. There was one bad guy but you really didnt learn much about him till the end. Mostly, it was school brats and home brats and classmates and learning all about the wonders of being a wizard! The first book was the best, it always is! But, as the books continued on, time lines had to be tweaked. It became harder to keep everything in the time-line continuity which, we as humans, want everything to FLOW in order. Putting things out of order, usually doesn't fare well. Take the Star Wars franchise for instance. Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi. DONE! But... oh, we gotta go back and screw things up ROYALY. And then, we jump ahead in time, and mess them up EVEN MORE! Ugh. Need I mention Star Trek and the time traveling? Come on.

HOWEVER.... And this is a big however... you can do time travel, or alternate universes, AS LONG AS THEY ARE CONTAINED WITHIN A BOOK OR MOVIE. Donnie Darko, Spider-Man, The Butterfly Effect, Avengers Endgame. You get the idea. Those sorts of things tend to work.

So, back to Death Shell. What happens... oh shit. I forgot LOOPER and TENET. Another great way to make a book super good, is by revealing a bunch of stuff at the end, which is connected to the very beginning. Secrets revealed, little icons and ideas. People will find themselves re-reading a book, or re-watching the movie, just to see what they missed, or to reconfirm the ideas they now know to be true, having wtinessed THE END.

This sort of planning and ciruclar writing, requires PAPER! It requires notes, and planning and thought.

Lastly, don't get discouraged! If writing is what you love to do, then do it! Publish it where you can, when you can! Get the word out! Invite people. Shoot, take out a google ad words campaign if you have to! Set up a speed date and leave a business card to your published works with everyone you meet! OVER DO THE EXCLAMATION POINTS UNTIL THEY ARE DEAD!!! But, don't ever give up. If that talentless hack can make millions on Youtube and Tik-Tok, you can live quite comfortably doing what you love. You just gotta get out there and DO IT!