The Problem with Goal Setting

There are times in all of our lives when we can relate to our lives almost descending into that now iconic image presented by the movie, Ground Hog Day. Each day becomes a repetition of the last, filled with activities that just get us by; by activities that aren’t moving us forward, changing how we feel or fueling our souls. A heavy emphasis on goal setting to jumpstart a stalled life or to tackle new and challenging projects, though, is not necessarily the place to start.

Goal Setting, Not Bad but Not the Place to Start

The activity of goal setting as a way of changing our lives has become almost de rigueur in modern society causing people to feel out of fashion unless they engage in the activity. The activity emerged out of the 'behavior modification' era of psychology. It's about planning and practicing a new set of behaviors. If it hasn’t been an activity positive for you, you may be one of those who ‘feels guilty because you don’t’, who ‘feels enslaved by excessive use of it’, or possibly one who ‘feels cynical about it’.

There is nothing intrinsically bad about looking forward into our lives and imagining a direction or activities that we feel may move us in a positive direction. In fact, we all do and have done it, even if not in the classic sense of making a list of goals. Think back about to when you became motivated to learn any new activity. You kept taking steps and setting higher challenges for yourself even if they weren't well defined.

Some of those promoting the concept of classic goal setting as a way of moving forward, though, have become almost arrogant about this activity as “the way” we change and pedantic or very narrow in how it should be done. In doing a Google search of the term 'goal setting' you don’t even have to click on a site. Descriptive sentences from the search list gave three examples of this.

"It is only when a person has a clear thought about their career goals and objectives that they get ultimate satisfaction."

"Make a list of every single task you will need to complete in order to achieve your goal."

"Once a person has a basic list of steps, he should set a time frame for meeting the objective that includes regular milestones and check-ups."

Mental Training & Moving Forward

Having taught a modern method of mental training, NeuroTherapy Training, for years, it’s been clear that heavily promoting goal setting as the way to move forward positively in life misses the critical point about what human’s must do for changes to be long term. People must work daily to manage fear in a way that changes their body’s experience of fear, not the way their mind understands it.

Satisfaction is a feeling one works to sustain internally that should not be reliant on how things are happening externally. Using an effective mental training process, the focus is quieting the brain and body and diminishing the physiology of fear daily to live as healthfully and happily as possible despite what is happening externally in life.

Some people’s minds, especially those who use more right hemisphere strategies, do not think in lists and in linear ways of doing things. People certainly can learn and use strategies outside of our normal ways that can be helpful, but the best form of “goal setting” for many may not occur by making lists of tasks. Controlling fear and feeling good about one’s particular approach to moving forward in life is what is of primary importance.

It is good to reexamine our progress through life and through projects, but if one doesn’t work regularly to control fear, those setting of milestones and making check-ups, however one goes about it, will be behaviors that won’t happen or won’t last. They will feel like judgments or punishment if one cannot handle the fact that something hasn’t happened or been accomplished as planned.

Some Final Thoughts for More Effective Use of Goals

1 Don’t feel coopted by goals, don’t let goals ransom your future.

2. Classic goal setting may not be right for everyone. Just as there are different learning styles, there are different styles of activity people will feel comfortable using in the act of focusing on and directing future activities.