Lifehack logo

Are you Being Manipulated

Tactics people use to manipulate others

By Dean GeePublished 3 years ago 5 min read
Like
Are you Being Manipulated
Photo by Garidy Sanders on Unsplash

Manipulation is persuasion’s ugly cousin and manipulators use various techniques to manipulate others. It is good to be aware of these techniques so that we can defend against them.

We all deal with various personalities all the time. We need to be alert to tactics used to manipulate. Persuasion is okay in my book, most people who sell products and services legitimately use various persuasion techniques. That is what selling is after all. You are trying to persuade someone to purchase something.

Manipulation is a lot more sinister, and has different objectives. Usually manipulation is for power, and the objective is a long term benefit to one party over the other. Persuasion is usually more logical and rational, and seeks to change behaviour in a mutually beneficial way.

Below I have highlighted some manipulation personality tactics that I have experienced, in my twenty years in corporations. I have given them my own descriptions that make sense to me, so I hope anyone reading this finds them helpful.

The Underminer

Usually this person will sidle up to you, or try and chat to you alone. They will come to you after working hours, when there are no distractions. Their objective is to gain political points, and recruit you as an ally in their undermining of others. These are what I call “empire builders” within organisations. They will usually start with complimenting you on some recent work you did, or say they really value your input. They want you to feel like you are special.

They will then proceed to highlight the differences between people like you and the person they are trying to undermine. This is how it was when I was approached.

“You know you and I are the future of this company, we are thinkers. I was really impressed with that project that you ran. The numbers look good for income and profit. What are your feelings on Sue?”

I responded that Sue had a different portfolio to me, and different challenges within her portfolio. His answer was that he thought that Sue wasn’t a thinker, that she was a dinosaur and too slow moving for the industry.

Solution: I didn’t commit to supporting him in his assessment and this frustrated him. I could tell. We ended the conversation with him lauding me for a brilliant conversation. From that day onwards, I was aware and suspicious of him.

The Advertiser

This guy is like an advert, he keeps repeating a mantra, thinking the more he says it to you, the more you will think it is truthful. He keeps repeating, how he wants you think about something and sometimes get’s creative by saying the same thing in different ways. He will then pretend that in discussing it with you, he has your support when you have not agreed with his opinion, as he has never actually asked you for your opinion.

Solution: Stand up to these people and let them know where you stand on the issue.

The Sympathy Seeker

This person is always looking for sympathy and wants your support in certain decisions because of the profound impacts such support will have on their life. They play on your sympathies, telling you a sob story upfront, and the impacts that your lack of action will have on their life, and then ask you to take a specific action to save them from the situation.

Solution: First assess and ascertain if the situation described is true, if it is try and help without jeopardising yourself. If it is not true, quietly question the person about what you have found out, not confrontationally, politely.

The Crisis Proclaimer

This is when someone comes to you, and makes a problem out to be a complete disaster, and then tells you the real story, which is not a disaster, but they want you to make a certain decision, in favour of them. They can often use this tactic to cover up their own mistakes. Below is an example.

“This latest Project is going to cost us $10,000 more than we budgeted! Its a complete disaster!”

“What? Where are we going to get that kind of money?”

“I have been able to negotiate the creditors down to $3,000. Can you assist me by signing off that amount?”

You sign off the amount that they originally wanted, they just made the problem sound way worse than what it really was.

Solution: Find out the facts, delve into the details, these people thrive on selling headlines. Got through the project in detail with them and ask where the extra costs are coming from. They will feel uneasy, as they squirm to try and justify their initial statement.

The Humiliator

This usually occurs when a person of greater positional power deals with someone subordinate to them. Humiliating them in front of an audience, for instance a boardroom full of executives.

I once had a CEO that took pride in showing his prowess, by bullying others in front of other executives. His goal was to increase his hold and power over the one being humiliated. He questioned a lady about why certain sales people where over spending their promotional budgets. One of the other executives was wise to his antics and pointed out that she had no authority over the sales people and therefore could not be held responsible.

Solution: This is a tricky one. Generally, with large egos, you should ask to meet separately after the meeting to discuss the accusation in detail. Also know your facts to defend yourself. Once the audience is removed these types of people are a lot easier to deal with. Given the positional differences it is better not to enter a public conflict, rather be more discreet and speak to them in private.

Final Thoughts:

There are many different personalities out there with different motivations. Be aware of some of the tricks that can be implemented to manipulate your thinking or behaviour.

The above is the observations I have made having been in the corporate world for two decades.

Some people can be a combination of all of the above or two or more of the above, I think it’s good to have an awareness. I hope this assists those who are being manipulated.

how to
Like

About the Creator

Dean Gee

Inquisitive Questioner, Creative Ideas person. Marketing Director. I love to write about life and nutrition, and navigating the corporate world.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.