Your Guide to Making Commitments

William, when will you send me the annual sales report?

I will send you soon, sir.

Read the above lines one more time. Do you think the way William answered the question is right?

Are you familiar with this kind of conversation? Do you make commitments like this? Of course, you do. We all make commitments, promises, give our words, and many a time, we fail to keep them and risk our integrity.

Why does it happen? Because when we promise, we do not understand it fully, or we are in two minds, but we want to be nice by saying 'yes'.

In such cases, we don't want to say no or any negative things and, finally, end up in a commitment that we struggle to keep.

In this article, we will learn when and how to make commitments and keep our integrity intact. We will explore the art of making a commitment.

What is a commitment, anyway?

A commitment is a state of being dedicated to a cause or activity. It's an engagement or obligation that restricts your freedom of action.

Yes, commitments restrict your freedom.

Imagine you told your wife yesterday that you would take her on a trip in the next month. Now, by saying so, you have restricted yourself to that particular activity and put your trust into question.

So, you must make time in the next month and take your wife on the trip you promised.

If you don't do what you said earlier, your trustworthiness will be in question. And it will cause you mental discomfort, create distrust between you and your wife, and consequently, she will not trust you again in the future.

You may say you did not mean it and told it only to be nice at that particular time. But when you make a promise to the other person, the other person will take it into account and expect that you will keep your words. It is fundamental.

Ask yourself, what do you expect when someone commits to you? Of course, you expect that the person will not disappoint you by breaking the promise.

We all make commitments like every day - to our boss, colleagues, friends, family, and else. Most of the time, we don't care too much. But it creates a terrible impression. Thus we risk our integrity for the rest of our life to that person.

When to make commitments

Don't always try to be decent by saying yes - if you remember this, you are safe. In most cases, we don't want to say 'no' to our superiors in office or to the person we love or admire.

So, when they ask anything from us, we immediately commit by saying yes. Then, after the initial excitement is over, we realize that we made a mistake by saying yes.

This type of commitment brings stress, discomfort, confusion, risks, and procrastination. It also develops distrust between the two people engaged in it.

So the ultimate rule is - make commitments when you are absolutely sure that you can keep the promise by providing what is needed. But if you have any hesitation or doubt, tell upfront.

Trust me, it sets you free from miscommunication and keep your integrity intact. It's always better to say no than a fake or confused yes.

We make blind commitments more when we are in a romantic relationship. We get ready to say 'yes' to almost everything our beloved says, believing that it will take us closer to our partners.

Remember, when you are saying yes, you are committing to that person and creating an expectation in his/her mind. And god forbid, if you cannot meet that expectation, you're doomed.

So, I'm repeating this - if you are in doubt, do not commit or promise. Instead, explain your stance with logic. If you don't know anything, admit that you don't know. It will set you free. Otherwise, you will risk your honesty.

How to make commitments

We don't care about it, but making-commitment is a skill we can easily learn. When you are giving your words, you must be aware that you have a clear idea about what you are doing. Do not fall into the trap of saying yes all the time.

While committing, you must be specific. Treat your commitment like an agreement. Because in a commitment, you agree on something to do or not to do for someone.

Commitments in personal life

Most of the time, we value least what we commit to our near ones. We think that they are close to me and we don't need to keep all the promises we make.

But it's terrible thinking because it can create an imbalance in your relationship with them. Maybe your near ones will not tell you anything directly, but of course, they get hurt when you broke a promise.

Think it otherwise, how will you feel if your friend breaks a promise to you? Will that not bother you a bit? Of course, it will.

So, when you are committing your near ones, make sure you value what you promise to them. Do not commit anything beyond your capacity. Be true to them. They will respect and love you more in return.

If your little son wants anything that you cannot afford right now, it is okay. Tell him that you will give him after 02 months when you have the money. Or, make a deal that if he gets a good grade, then you will give it to him. And if he takes the deal and gets the desired-grade, give him what he wanted without an excuse.

Commitments in professional life

Generally, we try our best to keep commitments made in our office or any formal environment because it may affect our image directly. So, we want to keep it at any cost. But many a time, we don't know how to commit.

In that case, you must remember the following things while making any commitment.

1. Make sure you understand your commitment properly
2. Check your resources that you can deliver it or not.
3. If you can do it, then tell the person about how you will do it (in brief).
4. If you cannot do it, politely explain your stance.
5. Agree on a deadline. (specific date and time)
6. Send him/her an email briefly describing it later. (just for documentation purpose)

If you follow the above procedure, you are okay. You have clarity about what you are doing and exactly when you should deliver it. Now you can work on it with a fresh mind.

Remember, when you give your words to someone, you risk your integrity. So be very careful about the promises you make and try your best to keep your commitments.

What if you break a promise?

It can happen, even if you did everything right from the beginning. We don't have any control over the uncertainties. So if anything unexpected happens and you break your promise, or you find risks in keeping it, you must contact the person you committed to as early as possible.

• First, call as early as possible(the earlier, the better)
• Second, apologize and ask what loss he/she encountered due to this.
• Third, explain why you cannot keep your promise.
• And finally, to compensate, make a new commitment, and keep it.

When you give your words to someone, he/she depends on you. So, if you cannot keep your promise, you must contact that person immediately. As soon as you reach him, apologize, and make a new commitment, you have chances to rebuild the trust.

Never have any doubt about how the person will react. Maybe he/she can make a new plan to minimize the loss due to this commitment break.

It always works if you take responsibility on your shoulder and say sorry for what goes wrong, and show your interest to compensate it with a new commitment.

It rebuilds trust and keeps your integrity intact.

To conclude

Don't promise for the sake of a promise. Make real commitments, and by keeping it, safeguard your integrity.

Don't let anyone down without a valid reason or explanation. Create trust. It's your moral responsibility.

Most importantly, think before you make any commitment. Honor your words, and only then people will honor you in return.

---

Now let's get back to the beginning -

William, when will you send me the annual sales report? 

My team is working hard and it's 80% done. I will send you the final draft of the report tomorrow by 3.00pm. Is that okay, sir?

Yes, it's okay.

---

Thank you for reading.

---

* The article was originally published on Medium (link)