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Why I Believe Actors Should Get a Personal Growth Coach!

And why any serious actor should contemplate deeply about making this a long term investment

By DapoPublished 3 years ago 7 min read
Why I Believe Actors Should Get a Personal Growth Coach!
Photo by KAL VISUALS on Unsplash

Hi, I am Selsela Ashraty. One question that I recently got from a friend of mine was, “what did your personal growth coach do for you?” I thought it was a great question, and that's because I had a great answer with proof. You see, I was coached by Malcolm Nair. He is an Enlightenment Coach and founder of Guided Intelligence, and what I got from his coaching is most interesting, and with it, I have grown to be more in control of my life, in the areas that I had no control.

I suffered from anxiety, which is a mental health condition accompanied by feelings of worry, or fear that are strong enough to interfere with a person's day-to-day activities. It's a feeling of fear or apprehension about what is to come. It's the body's natural response to stress. I had anxiety from opening letters..., can you imagine that?! I got anxious when I had to attend events I planned, and I got anxiety reading anything. I had therapy for over 4 years and though I loved it, it didn’t help me get rid of anxiety. So, I signed up for Malcolm Nair's personal growth 3 months ago (January 2021) and now, I am anxiety-free after only 4 weeks.

Actress Selsela is a Swiss actress, who stars alongside Matt Hudson in Transplant (2021)

I compared a lot of services and came to find that Malcolm Nair's is so much affordable in comparison to the other coaches. The beautiful thing is, we always found appointments that matched my busy schedule. I love that with his program, I was able to do a short-term commitment to see if I liked it or not. I loved the 'session by session' or 'month by month' or 'one on one' options. I had noted another program that had a minimum of 13 months commitment, but it would have been financially draining. So, I dropped it.

I am sure we've all heard this quote quite more than once “Mindset is everything.” We take separate journeys to find the meaning behind this short powerful phrase, yet depending on your life's situation it could represent something very different. As an actor, I’ve come to realize that this phrase “Mindset is everything” has grown on me in more ways than I realized. You can be the greatest actor or the most stunning person alive, but if you have 'doubt' weighing in on your mind, it will paralyze you. Your thoughts will become your enemy in that situation.

Selsela Ashraty is known for Twarrior (2020), Hacking Sahar (2019), Perron (2020), Loop and Nachsitzen

There is something Les Brown said that stuck with me, “if there is no devil within, the enemy outside can do you no harm” and I found that he was right. In the film business, you switch employers often; it all depends on contract duration. With the switching of workspaces comes a fresh application for jobs, and which ships with rejection or zero callbacks. If you don’t have the right mindset, such a situation can rip the actor into shreds. And I've witnessed so many give up their acting careers, for the loss of passion and drive. Rejection and stress are dream killers, each one can slowly chip away at the actor's self-confidence and self-image.

I often wonder if some actors would have had the strength to pursue their dreams had they someone like Malcolm of Guided Intelligence Coaching to keep them positive and to strengthen their beliefs in themselves. He would have made it possible to shift their identity faster. Honestly, I’ve seen so few people not take this process personally. I love acting, I enjoy the audition process regardless of the feedback. But I get it, I have had hard times as well, and if I do hit a valley, I have someone who gets me back on my path and strengthens me from within.

Selsela Ashraty is a Swiss actress, model, and singer, represented by the Bohemia Group

"The actor becomes an emotional athlete. The process is painful - my personal life suffers," says Al Pacino.

What audiences hail as performance is pure emotion for actors; it is not made up, they perform out of their true feelings. "I connect very easily with someone else’s pain, and it gets me emotional, I end up genuinely feeling and having the sad emotion." In an acting class, after one emotional scene, the teacher called it a great performance, and, I thought "performance?”. I would think, "Oh No!" It wasn't performed at all. It was all real. While acting teachers dutifully dissect a performance, their feedback can often be very quite hurtful. Yet, they provide no safety net for the actor.

An acting masterclass is tough; tutors want to perfect the actor to be a better entertainer. So, you have to process feedback such as, "you aren’t genuine enough”, or maybe "the emotions weren't there”, or “no one would react that way, you have to do it this way the next time”. Now, it's key to know that the feedback comes because that's what an acting masterclass provides and you must love it. But there is a missing piece in that process; there is no safety net for the actors. The mental and or emotional support that they need for performing scenes that can be hard on their souls is absent.

By Andrés Canchón on Unsplash

Some actors have a hard time recovering from feedback and emotionally heavy scenes. I recall, a classmate of mine who once left class after his scene because he broke down “performing” it. His example is a reason why I am very big on personal growth. First, there's the stress from switching jobs, and rejection, second the stress of the job, and third, there are kids in this business who need support. If scenes have a big effect on adults, they probably have an even bigger effect on kids. Getting the right emotional support can quantum leap kids and make the next generation of actors so much prepared than the actors that have gone before.

I have had therapy, a personal coach, I listen to Les Brown, Bob Proctor, Mel Robbins, Lisa Nichols, and I tell you it has done me wonders. This cocktail of speakers form my mindset recipe; truly mindset is everything. Now, you wonder why you still need a mentor like I have if all these free great resources exist? Let me share with you what made me decide for 'a personal coach'; imagine you're an athlete who plays football, you practice daily to stay in shape, and form to perform at a very high level of the sport.

By Joshua Allwood on Unsplash

Now, if you had a teammate who chose to watch football to replace on-field training, what do you think he would learn? You're right. Nothing! Football is a physical, and mental sport. If an athlete doesn't train his body, he fails. It's the same for actors, her body (actor) is her work tool, if she doesn't put it to work (physical, mental), she fails. If you're thinking you can learn and improve by listening to free sources only, it will not skyrocket you to where you want to go. With a coach (mentor) guiding you through the emotional, mental, and physical journey, you go further than most. As an actor, your personal development coach will give you tools that guide you away from doubts. He can safely connect to your emotions so you can enjoy your job, and not deal with emotional scars that will hinder your process and the growth of your career.

Do you know how much you can focus on your career and step away from procrastination when there is no doubt in your mind? Do you know how much of your anxiety will be gone when you have control over your emotions, fears, and mindset? With a 100% anxiety-free life, I can guide myself in and out of emotional scenes with ease. And if I can’t, my personal coach is a phone call away, and I am good in about 3 minutes. An acting coach does not know how to do that. Another reason why free resources can only give you so much is that; sometimes you need someone to see things for you where you can’t see them for yourself. Read it again: "sometimes you need someone to see things for you where you can’t see them for yourself."

Selsela Ashraty has proved successful in her career as a Swiss actor, she moved to North America as a performer in Hollywood.

My personal coach pointed out so many things like, "how to improve my communications skills", "how to see other talents that I have and didn’t recognize as talent". He showed me that I don’t need 5 years to get rid of anxiety. Malcolm Nair (Guided Intelligence) gave me so many strategies that I didn’t see by myself. To improve, you need to learn things you didn’t know before. Growing requires realization! What you know right now won’t take you to your end goal, if it did, you would already be at the finish line or you'd at least see the finish line. I look forward to the time when personal growth or group coaching is included in the curriculum of Art Schools. So creatives who deal with emotions (trauma) in entertainment and on a daily basis can enjoy the good part of their job, which is telling stories.

I recommend to you my personal coach Malcolm Nair, since I have been raving so much about him. You will find a list of his contacts beneath Rochelle Carrington's video CEO & President at The Quest Source. Malcolm Nair gives out free first sessions for everyone who needs it.

Malcolm Nair

  • CEO, Guided Intelligence
  • [email protected]


About the Creator


I write about personal ideas, experiences or researched concepts. I publish "indieactivity" - an independent filmmaking publication for filmmakers.

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    DapoWritten by Dapo

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