Why do I have such bad luck?

Unpopular Opinion:

When people say “oh you don’t have bad luck, you just have a bad outlook on life! Be more positive and things will go your way!”

That is about the BIGGEST load of crap that one of the Luckier people who inhabit this earth will tell you. Like yea easy for YOU to say. You don’t live MY life. And all my life, all I’ve ever experienced is the odds being against me ALL the time.

I have lived for 21 years and I would say that there are Definitely people that are lucky, and people that are unlucky. We’ve seen it. On television shows, there’s always that side character that is always suffering setbacks, always fucks up the plot with their Pure magnetism of bad things happening. I’m that character. There’s also the character (usually main) where everything works out perfectly for them all the time and only sometimes do they run into issues. In real life, these are the people telling you it’s “just the way you look at it”

They will provide you with all these examples of a person with a better outlook on life having better luck and the person who has a negative outlook experiences bad luck and it’s no one else’s fault but their own. But they never considered that the people’s attitudes were a RESULT of living a life full of luck, or mostly bad luck. obviously no one is 100% lucky, and bad things happen to “lucky” people too. But what they don’t realize is that for us UNlucky people, that’s literally ALL we EVER experience. Just like how “lucky” people only experience bad things sometimes, “UNlucky” people only experience things ACTUALLY going smoothly only SOMETIMES. But for the most part our lives have consisted of mostly setback after setback. Some people cannot catch a break and suffer “bad luck” pretty much all the time.

so I believe that Some people are lucky and others are constantly experiencing bad luck. But one positive thing I can say about us “bad luck” charms is we are stronger than the lucky people and have more endurance. We can handle setbacks and bad things better because we’re used to experiencing them. Also we are smarter because we learn more from failure than from success. But that doesn’t change the fact that some people are just seemingly cursed to experience bad luck while others have lives full of fortune and privelage.

example:

(My life )

dealing with abuse as a child, then getting assaulted as a teenager, always being broke and poor, failing tests I studied all night for, always getting picked last (and I MEAN ALWAYS) out of the name drawing hat, getting a scholarship as an art major then shortly after breaking and permanently fucking up my drawing hand, then as soon as that healed I get in a car addident that totals my car, then I get fired from my job unexpectedly, then after my hand heels I get a job as a dancer and shortly after guess what? I FELL AND SPRAINED MY ANKLE AND WAS OFF OF IT FOR MONTHS. Two weeks after I finally turn 21 every bar in the country closes permanently. Right after I got a new job my car took a shit on me and broke down. I’m 2020 I was assaulted again as an adult. Yea that’s just only a few examples of my life that seems to be cursed. It gets worse. If I told you all the bad luck I experience everyday, well, there would be like 10 pages to this answer, lol.

but conclusion: bad luck DOES exist. And YES, it does happen to some people more than others. And NO, you are not the reason for your own bad luck. Your “negative outlook” doesn’t cause your bad luck. Bad luck is what caused your negative outlook. Humans expect what they’ve already experienced.

fuck that “oh it’s just you because you’re negative if you were more positive good things would happen more” that makes us feel like even more shit like we should feel stupid and guilty because we are the cause of our own shitty luck.

Some people are born lucky it seems. Rich and privileged and their worst problems include minor inconvenience.

Meanwhile there are people born having to suffer oppression, homelessness, Constant Job insecurity, addicted to drugs or involved in street crime, never got a good education, or suffer abuse all their life from everyone they want love from.

So clearly, some people are better off than others it seems. And it’s not “all in your head” I cannot stress that enough.

maybe it’s not luck and there is a reason behind all this, like I said before we’re stronger, maybe the universe just teaching us to be strong because we deserve to prevail. And the lucky ones who never had to work or train or suffer, will snap like a twig under such circumstances.

Edit: I’ve been in therapy since I posted this, so I don’t feel as doomed anymore. I believe some of us are luckier than others. But maybe a lot of people are just hiding their pain better or are oblivious to the toxicity in their life. You never know what people go through. So I’ll have to change what I say when I said “some people have perfect lives” I don’t think that’s true, maybe some people handle life stressors better.

I’ve learned I have PTSD and BPD which explain a lot of my feelings about being doomed and having bad luck. I tend to self sabatoge and I’ve lost many jobs and opportunities because of it. But sometimes it’s the job or school that I don’t want anyways. My school took my scholarship away because I needed to take time to go to the psych unit. My job fired me two years later for having to take time once again for the psych unit. Maybe I don’t have bad luck maybe the work needs to treat people with mental illness like they aren’t big babies anymore. Because why did I suffer consequences for taking care of myself? If I had been hit by a car and was in a full body cast, would the same retaliation have been made against me? No. Becaue the work can’t see mental illness so they assume. They assume you’re fine and you can’t work early in the morning because you’re a Lazy millennial who wants to sleep in. But they don’t understand you have crippling panic attacks trying to force myself to sleep and thinking about waking up on time to be at work. You think I’m just being a princess. That a panic attack means I’m just going to be like “omg omg omg I don’t wanna!!” But it’s more like “if I can’t get to sleep by 9 then I’ll be up all night then I’ll sleep in then I’ll be late then I’ll get fired then I’ll be homeless oh my god it’s already midnight I only have four hours left oh no now it’s 2am I can’t sleep now my heart is going to beat out of it’s chest and I can’t breathe now I need to turn on the light because I’m terrified oh no 3 am only 3 hours left to wake up you’re fucked I think I need to go to the emergency room I’m having a heart attack I’m going to die I can’t breathe”

and going through that it really makes me wanna sock someone straight in the face for treating me like I’m being spoiled.

So maybe it’s not bad luck maybe it’s just mental illness, mixed with a little bit of bad luck, reacting badly to the bad luck causing self sabatoge and the attraction of more bad luck, causing for a vicious cycle of bad luck. But I don’t think if I “was more positive” - as if that’s SO easy with mental illness- the stuff won’t stop happpening, but from experience it seems like it helps me deal with it better, but I still to this day have days where I wail and scream over a paper cut.